Acknowledgement of the Obvious

It seems there is a certain subset of men who are annoyed to angry when women agree with them. This seems like insanity, but not when you understand the subject. See, men get angry when they compliment women and the women agree with them.

"You have great hair."

"I know, thanks."

And suddenly, the guy isn't happy anymore. Somehow, once it's made clear that his observation isn't unique or unknown, he's sullen about the matter.

I realize a lot of this is because people want women to be beautiful but also want them to be unaware they are. It's this implication that vain people are difficult to handle, but really, there is a darker element to it. Someone who doesn't know their own worth can be manipulated. Someone who isn't grateful and grasping for any acknowledgment is less likely to fall for bullshit.

That's just completely illogical. It's a fantasy and it's stupid. How could someone NOT know how good they look? If someone spends months working on their body, they should be aware it is sculpted. If someone spends hours learning to paint their face, they are very aware of how good their skills are. If someone spent lots of money and time having a professional make their hair look amazing, they know it looks amazing. Conforming to the beauty ideal is a form of artistry. It isn't an insult to talk about how well someone can make art and it's certainly not wrong when they point out that they know they're good at what they do.

I'm not talking about being cocky here. Yes, people can be really arrogant when someone compliments them, but I don't think showing an awareness of the truth is enough to qualify as cockiness. Some men get angry if a woman just replies with 'Thanks.' Yes, that isn't gushing gratitude that someone noticed them, but it's also not someone growling at you. Besides, we all know that quite often there is more at play here.

One woman said a man complimented her body, but when she agreed it looked good, he retracted the compliment and insisted she needed to go to the gym. Now, as much as people say this kind of opening is all about being nice to someone, it's clearly not. In this case, the compliment was meant to catch the person off-guard and make them uncomfortable. When that didn't work, well, the next page in the 'how to picks up them ladies' is clearly about negging.  If complimenting her doesn't make her feel vulnerable, insult her instead.

That's works less and less these days. After all, when one knows one's own worth, it's difficult to break that down.