Commitment

I loathe the idea of long term commitments to other humans. I hate the idea of vows, of oaths to other humans. I hate the concept of being stuck with stupid decisions you make in your youth. That should never be the case. I hate promises, but more so, I hate people who try to force you into making them. I hate their insecurities.

It isn't about loyalty. Loyalty is one of those manipulative words that people want to hold against you, but never want to hold against themselves. They want to wring it out of you and make you go along with their whatever plans, no matter what you may decide, no matter how you may change.

It's like this . . . if I want to be around you, I'll be around you. If I don't, I don't. Why would you want me to? Why would you want someone to be near you when they hate you? Why waste your energy with this when you could just move on and find some new friend/lover/whathaveyou that suits you better?

Of course, I did NOT get this when I was younger. When I was a teenager, and even into early adulthood, I thought that commitment was the best way. Somehow, I was ignoring how miserable it was making everyone around me. I guess I thought that vows and commitment would ensure I wouldn't be alone. For some reason, I bought into the lie that there was something awful about being alone. And it is a lie. Being alone is awesome, and if not awesome, still better than being with people who drain you or are just there out of some misguided commitment to a vow.

Now I believe if you want to be around me, be around me. If you want me around, be someone I want to be near. If I'm not someone you want to be around, go find someone more suitable. Nothing should hold people together except for a continuing choice to be there. It's the most beautiful way.