I'm not good with drugs. My doctor gave me a script for panic meds a while back, stating that most people tend to handle life better just knowing they have them. This is the case with me most of the time. I like the peace of mind. The last couple of days have been rough and triggery for me, especially at night. After several days of not really sleeping, last night I decided I would take one of the pills once I felt the panic setting in.
It helped. I slept better than I have in a while, though that honestly isn't saying much. I needed the sleep, but I paid for it. I woke up dehydrated and aching. I also woke up in a mental fog.
This is why I'm not good with drugs. No matter what they can to me otherwise, the mental fog that certain medications cause just drive me bonkers. I hate it so much. I'll let myself be in pain for as long as possible if it means I can avoid that fogginess. It's like I'm sliding underwater and can't reach the shores of myself.
About ten minutes ago, the fog started to lift. There was a second where it was there and then the next second, I felt like ME again. It was such a relief. One of the fears I always have with any medication that does this is that the fog won't go away. When I was younger and recovering from stomach surgery, I stayed in that haze for months. It was horrible.
I'm so happy that I'm back in the mental building that I may stay in a good mood for the rest of the day. No promises.
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