Validation

I think I'm beautiful.

I fully well realize I'm also massively overweight with tons of extra chins and boobs that sag to another country and lots of bulging this and thats. I also know my hair is thin and whispy. I sweat a lot. I have a weird nose. My eyebrows are disappearing. Honestly, it doesn't matter. I still think I'm beautiful. It's just one of those things I've always believed.

I also don't think YOU have to think I'm beautiful. That's completely fine. It didn't use to be. I used to be mad when people rejected the truth of my beauty. Now I realize that beauty is rather subjective and what I see in the mirror or from the perspective of my eyes or feel with my hands isn't what other people will experience. I can lounge naked on my bed and feel beautiful. Possibly no one else would see it that way. That's fine.

I will never force acceptance of my beauty on anyone else either. To me, body acceptance means YOU accept YOU. It doesn't mean everyone else has to. Now I don't think this gives them the right to kill you over it, but at the same time, they don't have to date you either. People have the right to decide who they love and who they have sex with. We've fought too hard and too long for those rights for someone to run over them with 'I'm forcing you to love me.' That just isn't how things work.

Do I believe that if you love yourself then you will find someone who also loves you and get married and live happily ever after? No. That's magical thinking at its worst. The thing is, if you really love yourself, you don't have to have the marriage and someone else. You have the validation you need already. I don't have that every second of the day, but tonight I do and it feels amazing.