Selfishness

I saw this video today about childless women and how people shouldn't think of them as selfish or shallow. The video showed countless women who are successful and give to charities and blah blah and just happen to also not be mothers. It interviewed a woman who runs a company and goes to Kenya to help with refugees. And that is awesome that she does that. It's also true that just because a woman chooses not to have a child doesn't mean she is selfish. I've blogged about this before.

However, I want to make one thing very clear.

Women who don't have children are not obligated to prove anything to anyone. If they are selfish, fine. If they are shallow, that's also fine. If they hate children, that's perfectly okay. They are not required to be generous or saintly or giving to somehow justify their existence. They are here and there is no explanation needed.

So long as you're not screwing up someone else's life, it's perfectly OKAY to be selfish. It's fine to want things for yourself. It's fine to enjoy your time as YOUR time. It's great to have hobbies and activities that please you and ONLY you with no benefit to anyone else. It's cool.

Some people are selfish. Some of those people are women. And their selfishness is no more wrong than that of men. It isn't being selfish that is the problem so much as how that self-oriented perspective affects people around you. So long as you take care to insure others aren't harmed by your nature, then it's fine. In fact, if you are selfish by nature, it is certainly best that you do NOT have children.