Like anyone else who is crazypants, I see a therapist. We talk about lots of stuff, most of which I will discuss here at some point or another. One of our frequent topics is how I often freeze myself in a spiral of failure.
To hear me talk, most people would assume I have a home on Delusional Street because when I discuss myself, I tend to shy away from all the self-defeat going on in my head and just discuss the good points. Mind you, I'm trying to make this the inner discussion as well, somehow without having to move to Delusional Street.
One of the things I obsess about a lot is being an adult. Okay, so I'm recently 37. And I know to a lot of people, hey, even to me, that sounds like an age where you should really have your life together. Everything should be all organized and functioning and proper. Hah.
I would go into detail about how this doesn't work, but there is no way I could say it as well as it was said here. When I read this, I was just floored at how well it captured my continue spiral of adult fail. This post is very popular, because I think it captured most people's feelings. We have no idea how to do this.
But in a way, I think that is our strength. As adults at this time, we have a lot more flexibility of thought than adults ever have before. I think it's great that at 37, I can proclaim that I have no idea how to do this, this, this, and this, and people get it. Because they don't know how either.
When I think back on the adults I knew when I was a child, I think they were just as confused as anyone these days. Most of them went through the motions of "doing adult stuff" and hoping that it would make a difference. Sometimes it did, but even then, they would seem somewhat empty about it. And I hate that for them.
One thing I do know for sure. I don't feel empty. Oh, and my bills are paid. I guess that's some level of good adulting for a while.
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