Not Married

My youngest cousin got engaged last weekend.  Aside from one cousin who is in prison, this will make me the only person of my generation in my family on both sides who isn't married. And I'm okay with that.

No, really, I am. I read all the time about how devastated women are because they're not married or not with someone. I watch TV shows that I think are going to be about people being professionals, and it just ends up being about this quest of desperation to FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE ME OMG!

Is that real life? I mean, is that your life? It's certainly not mine.

It was maybe my life when I was in my early 20s. You know, back when I didn't know any better. Though, to be honest, even then I should have known better because my mom had been on the marriages of fail train wreck for so long by then.  But at some point, I guess like, I dunno, 24 or so, I realized the whole thing sounded pretty shitty and cast my fortunes elsewhere. And as much as some people might say that's sour grapes, it's really not. I have honestly never seen any marriage that looked like something I would want to be a part of on a daily basis.

Which, okay, that doesn't mean it's that way for everyone.  Just because something doesn't seem appealing to me doesn't mean it isn't for someone else. I'm fairly self-aware enough of my weirdness to get that what works for me doesn't work for everyone.

Do I worry about being alone? No, because I'm not alone. I live with one of my best friends in the world.  There is nothing remotely like romance between us (ew, it would be like kissing my brother), but there is lots of discussion, laughter, inside jokes, and long term plans.  We're good partners.

And one of the nice things about being a fat girl (because there are good things about it) is that everyone assumes you're too pathetic to "lanz an manz" so they don't pressure you about marriage. Just the usual "you should lose weight so you'll be more healthy.....and normal." Which, yeah, that "normal" part probably translates to "lanz a manz," but I'm going to save myself the eye rolls and pretend it's about me wearing something other than black.