Mothers and Other Mysteries

I'll get back to writing about Madoka in a couple of days. I need some time to process the events of late and some time to reflect on the current situation. I get to see my uncle tomorrow, on Mother's Day. As he, my roommate, and myself have all lost our mothers within the last five years, I think it will be an interesting time for us.  My home will be the refuge of the motherless. I don't think the cats even have mothers anymore . . . other than me.

Maybe it's just me, but I find the whole concept of motherhood to be highly odd.  Well, parents in general, really. Maybe I'm supposed to feel happy and connected or something about the idea that my body was created from the DNA of others, but I don't. I find that awkward and creepy. I don't like the fact that I am physically linked to other people, that some gushy sex is responsible for me.  It freaks me out a little.

I guess for me, it comes down to the fact that I hate being related to others. I don't hate THEM. I love most of them.  I just hate the biological ties. I hate the fact that my father has some kind of physical responsibility in the fact that I exist. I don't like all of those ties.  I really wish we could get new humans from some other way besides sex, goosh, and pregnancy.  There's way too much violation of personal space involved in all of that. Way too much vulnerability.

I think it would be better if we just decided to order children and they showed up for assembly. Kind of like a bookshelf from Ikea!  Or, I dunno. Maybe it would just be best if we always adopted.  Someone else did the goosh and stuff. We arrive and pick out a baby, take it home, and raise it as our own.  It could work. And you would still love your kids. God knows I love the cats and that's how we got them.

So yes, those are my thoughts coming into another Mother's Day.  Freak out over being tied to others and feeling like an orphan. Yes, all at the same time. Go me.