Last night, I posted Neil Gaiman's speech and said I needed to think about it for a while. There was so much in it, but I think I'm ready to talk now about some of the things I found to be most most inspiring and how I think they should apply to my life . . . and perhaps to yours.
Gaiman said that when he was younger and thought about what he wanted to do with his life, he knew he wanted to write. He decided to see writing/being an author as this mountain ahead of him. As long as he kept walking towards the mountain, he was doing the right thing. If he had to make decisions, they would always hinge on if they brought him closer to the mountain, or took him farther away from it.
I love this philosophy because it does two very important things. First of all, it helps to set us on a path for our life. Major goal with path towards goal. Second of all, it allows a way to simplify decisions. All decisions will be based on if they bring us closer to the goal or take us away from it. It allows you to shape your priorities.
The most important thing here, is that you need to HAVE a mountain. If you don't have a goal out there that can shape and frame your life and decisions, your first task should be seeking one. Take some time and ask yourself some questions. Be honest about the answers. What do you want to be doing with your life? What would really make you happy? What will make you feel the most fulfilled and alive?
This might be my own little spin on it, but I think when you decide on your mountain, it should always be an "I" and a "my." It should never be a "we" or an "our." As much as society tells you to consider other people, especially if you have commitments to them, I don't believe that to be true. Unless your mountain is "I want to be the best married person and parent out there," there is no reason to consider other people in your life goal. Even then really, it's more about you.
I know this sounds harsh, but the fact is, people die or leave you. You can't depend on them. Even if they stay around, it's not fair to base your life goals on what someone else is doing. You're placing limits on them and altering what their plans may be. If the goals towards your personal mountains happen to be going in the same direction for a while, that's great. But your mountain should be YOUR mountain. Your mountain should depend only on YOU.
This also gives you back the power. When you're thinking about the future, you're not basing the positive notes on someone else. "Oh life will be better if my husband gets that job." "Things will be great if my wife stops drinking." Stop thinking and worrying about what other people may or may not do, and ask yourself what YOU can do to make things better. Ask yourself what YOU can change to make your life happier, to bring you closer to your mountain. It really isn't up to others.
The key here though, is that you have to be really, really honest with yourself. Don't just pick goals you think will impress others or ones that sound safe. Choose the goal that you truly want and then don't let your obstacles discourage you. Are you really poor? Sick? Broken? You can either let those things stop you or find a way to make them help you move towards the mountain. One step at a time. Even if it takes you the rest of your life, at least you are working towards your happiness.
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