Monday, May 28, 2012

Topic Control: Weekend Yard Sales

Despite the fact that it's Memorial Day and therefor feels just like Sunday, I did manage to remember Topic Control this week. I even sprang it last minute on someone just to see what she would come up with. And she decided on . . . weekend yard sales. I have no idea why, but we'll go for it.

It's actually funny she chose this, because my roommate and I were discussing yard sales just this morning. Well, actually, we were discussing stupid crazyass taxes that people have to pay, and yard sales make their way into the convo.  I commented that soon they would be taxing yard sales.

Roommate: Well, actually, they can.
Me: What the fuck?
Roommate: Well, not if you just do it on occasion, but if you're basically making a living that way, yes. It's why in most places, people are limited to two yard sales a year. 

I doubt that limit exists in a town near to us.  The town is small and quite a lot of it runs along the sides of the highway.  During this time of year, from Thursday through Sunday, almost every house has some kind of yard sale going on. It's like some kind of really annoying white trash strip mall . . . okay, even MORE annoying white trash strip mall. The constant yard sales make this area really shitty when you're driving through because people are constantly pulling out from one place and then turning in really quickly to the next one. It kind of makes you want to throw bricks.

Of course, I've never really been into the yard sale scene. My mother and grandmother both were. They would stop at every sale they saw and look through all the stuff. Gramma tended to buy clothes.  I  think her method for picking them down to a science. I even drew a chart!


This method served her throughout her life and put a lot of really ugly clothing into our lives.  Deeply ugly.  I would always dread coming over to her house on the weekends because I knew she'd have some new ugly for me. She'd always be so happy and excited about it that I couldn't just tell her no.  I'd take the fug shit home and throw it in a box. Eventually, this would get sent to charity.

My sister-in-law tried this as well but it didn't work out so well for her.  My grandmother got her this ugly, tacky fake leather and fake fur jacket for Christmas one year. My SIL donated it.  But Gran went to the place where she donated it and, forgetting she gave it to her the year before, bought it for her again the next Christmas.

Aside from my grandmother's interference, my SIL tends to have pretty good luck with yard sales. She doesn't go to them, but she knows lots of people who do.  She'll always tell them about things she is looking for. If they see one of her items, she's given a call. Recently, she got a dining set for her patio.

She also has a yard sale about once a year. It usually consists of children's toys and whatever else stuff she bought over the past 12 months that just wasn't working for her anymore.  Because of her experience with these things, she orchestrated the yard sale we had after my grandmother died. I have no idea how successful it was as far as local sales go, but I was happy with it because we moved a ton of junk . . . most of which was probably bought at someone else's yard sale years before.

I know my tone is maybe a little scoffy, but I don't mean for it to be. Yard sales are a big part of our culture and as the economy continues to suck goat balls on a hot day, yard sales will become even more important to us. In the coming years, it may be the way many people get their furniture, books, and children's clothing. It may just be the way of the future.

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