The Mystery of the Tiredness

I planned on continuing the Madoka analysis tonight, but that isn't happening. I have no idea what is going on, but I am just completely exhausted.  My roommate (who wrote his 500th post today! Go him!) said he has been tired all week, but today was far worse.  Uggh, I'm yawning just writing that.


There are a lot of reasons why this could be happening. The slow but sure transfer from happy cold weather to evil hot weather. The pollen in the air. The pace we've been maintaining as we clean/deflea/clean/deflea.  It could be the stress of the last 8 weeks, when things have been breaking and screwing up and breaking some more just for good measure. I have some theories of my own though.

THE BLOODSUCKING FLEAS ARE DRAINING US OF OUR VITAL LIFE ESSENCE

Actually, I believe this to be the most logical reason why we're so tired. Fleas. Not the vacuuming and combing the cats part. No, just the fleas themselves. Their very existence is draining the life force from us.  Every time they hop or bite or lay another six million eggs or order pizza, a little bit of my soul diminishes.  Every time they do one of their little flea dances, another small part of who I am as a person fades away.

THE PEOPLE RUNNING FOR POLITICAL OFFICE ARE DRAINING US OF VITAL LIFE ESSENCE

This theory probably holds more validity than the last one. You see, when people run for office, they need a lot of energy.  It takes so much out of a person to keep that plastic smile one one's face or make all those loud, empty statements.  It's difficult to keep up with all the lies and doublespeak.  There is also a lot of energy used in shaking all the hands and making empty promises and keeping that mindnumbing tone of voice.

Of course, none of this requires as much power as it takes to do the rituals needed to summon and maintain Politician Hair.  You know the kind. The hair that seems somehow completely bland, appropriate, plastic, and lifeless as possible.  The hair requires special spells to keep it in a state of nonmovement and even more spells to keep it in a state of total genericness.

ALIENS

If cable TV has taught me anything, it is that all mysteries in life can be blamed on aliens . . . or Bigfoot. But we're going to pretend for the sake of argument that Bigfoot is also an alien, so it still counts as aliens. So yes, because Aliens need to probe people or build pyramids or send messages into the past, they are draining my energy and using it for their vexing plots.

While I sleep, the aliens come down and run alien tech thingies over my feet, removing all the energy I have.  I'm sure the aliens use this to do really bad things to the world . . . or to make it better. Their motives are rather murky.

Whatever the case, I'm tired. So, so very tired. I need sleep and lots of it. Hours and hours of it.  Yes, this is the plan for the rest of the night. Hopefully by tomorrow, I'll be more awake.