Just Say No

Yesterday, I got up at five in the morning so I could have a good parking place and decent place in line for something. The place where I was waiting opened at 8:00 am, and last year when I got there, it was about seven.  By that time, the line was already around the building and there were no close parking places at all. I did not want to deal with that again, so I got up earlier and hurried my ass down there.

Of course, even at six, there were still a lot of people.  Luckily, none of them had handicap parking stickers so I still managed to get a decent parking place. I also got into the park of the line where I could easily sit without getting in anyone's way.  By 6:15, the line was getting around the building again. Also about this time, the first screaming baby of the day began to scream.

So for the next two hours, I put up with screaming babies, morning sun, occasional drips from the building, and other people. I also put up with the judgement and snittiness of the people who work in the building as they would pass by us to get to their jobs. I thought it was all worth it though, because I wasn't in as much pain as I could be and there would be a pay off.

Except there wasn't.  The assistance that I was hoping to obtain lowered their max income limit.  Last year, I got this with no problem. This year, even on the meager stipend of disability, I still had too much money coming in to receive help.  I was very upset and disappointed about this at the time. I could have really used the money, even though it technically wasn't a lot of money.  When you're really poor, even an extra twenty bucks can make a huge difference in your life.

I understand that things are tough on everyone. I know the state has very limited money for their programs and I completely understand. So even though I was disappointed at the time, I'm not upset about being denied now.

However, I am upset about the fact that we weren't just leveled with about the income limits.  If they had simply placed a sign on the door of the building showing what would work and what would not, I think they could have saved a lot of people some pain and discomfort.  Most people would have looked at the sign, saw they had too much income for the month, and gone home.  It would have meant shorter lines, less work for the employees, less paperwork, and less denial letters being sent out.

I think there is this cultural aversion to disappointing people.  We avoid telling others no or that they don't qualify or it won't work for the, because we truly hate seeing people's hopes dashed .  .  . well, some of us do.  Avoiding telling people the harsh news may seem easier at first, but really, it just ends up wasting a lot of time and energy.  If you have the power to tell someone not to waste their time because it's never going to happen for them, by all means, please do it.  Even if you hurt them, you're doing them a favor in the long run.  You may be doing a lot of people favors.