Swinging Back

Sometimes when I should be writing my blog, I have this process of procrastinating and thinking at the same time. On occasion, this process yields very inspiring posts . . . the rest of the time, I just write something about my cats.  Last night, while in process, I read this reprinting of a blog post. It is amazing and you should go read it for yourself.

I didn't write about this last night (and did write about cats) because I knew I needed to think about it for a while. The ideas had to stew and just kind of let the important parts bubble to the surface. Yes, I do believe I just mixed metaphors. Cheers.

Anyway, I think the part that stuck out to me the most was when he discussed the phase and concept of "swinging back." By this, he means hitting back, defending yourself from aggression with equal aggression . . . or at least as equal as you can manage. Swinging back is a big thing. It's a defining moment of who you are and how you view your destiny. It always has consequences. It also has a set up.

See, in order to "swing back," you have to have someone swing at you first. You have to be put in a position where you need to defend yourself. The thing is, even being in this position sucks. No one wants to be here. No one wants to be the person someone else is attacking. But there you are. You're being attacked. And once you are attacked, you have a choice.

You swing back or you don't.

America, as a nation, was basically built on the principle of swinging back. We did not wish to be bullied by other countries. We wanted to be free to live our lives as we saw fit. Something about tea and taxes.  You know the story. What it boils down to is that, as a people, we swung back. We opted to defend ourselves, aggression on aggression, and accepted the consequences of whatever that would bring.

But here is the irony, and I think if there is anything about America that should change on a fundamental level, it is this . . . we value the concept of swinging back. We teach that it is what we should do. We hold up our founders, a group of people who rebelled against the Powers that Were, and won. And yet . . . when anyone who is outside the mainstream of what we find to be acceptable tries to swing back, we demonize them.

The angry black. The angry feminist. The angry gay.  The angry poor person. The angry old person. The angry Native American. Put just about anyone outside the WASPy acceptance group behind that "angry" and we freak out. THOSE people aren't supposed to swing back. THOSE people are suppose to just accept the aggression dealt to them, in fact, realize that no real aggression is happening and it's all in their heads. They're being oversensitive. They have no cause to swing back.

This is bullshit, of course. Because like it or not, there are a lot of people out there who are attacked on a daily basis, just because they don't fit in with the normals. Society, and individuals in society, swing at them and swing at them until finally they know they can either just lay down and die . . . or they can swing back. And when most of them DO swing back, they do so knowing full well that it may not solve anything, that it might even make things worse.

A few days ago, a friend of mine told me about an attempted child abduction case he'd read about. A woman was walking of of the store with her child when a man grabbed the kid. She screamed and tried to hit the man. He hit her back. And her child, who I think he said was about three, latched onto the man's neck and bit a chuck of flesh out of it. As his blood came gushing from the wound, he let the child go. He didn't die, but he was injured badly enough to be arrested and taken into custody (via the hospital, because he did have a chuck of neck gone now).

Now, I'm not saying that we should live in a hyperviolent society. I don't think that every slight and every insult should be answered with a kick to the head. What I am saying, is that for each of us, there should be a recognized limit to what abuse we will take. Once someone is reaching that limit with us, we need to walk away from them. If they won't let us walk away, we need to make up our minds if we are going to swing back at them. It may make things worse.

However, it will certainly make things change.