This is my 800th post. I was very careful to actually watch for this milestone, as I've been busy with my own crazy and haven't paid much attention to them for a while. It would be like, "Oh look, I actually got pask x three days ago when the house flooded with blood" or something like that. Come to think of it, that may have been a scene from a movie. But you get the idea.
I'm happy about reaching 800 posts. My favorite number is four, and 8 is 4's older, curvier sister. Four adores her, so I adore her too.
Writing 800 posts is quite an accomplishment for me. I've never kept a positive habit this long. It's really shocking that it's lasting. There have been a lot of ups and downs since I started this blog, but for all the things I may have regretted over the years, writing the blog isn't one of them. It's actually my favorite time of the day. It helps to keep me centered.
So to commemorate this achievement, I will do some lists of 8.
Eight things I love:
1. My friends.
2. Great conversation.
3. Applesauce.
4. My flute.
5. Cats
6. Books
7. Unexpected cool weather in summer.
8. Cities that never stop burning.
Eight things I want:
1. To get good enough on my flute to play in public.
2. To get my writing career started.
3. To get my health in order.
4. To bravely speak my mind.
5. To show kindness to others.
6. To make beautiful things.
7. To eventually speak at a writing con, as an author.
8. To secure my future.
Eight things I am grateful to have:
1. My loved ones.
2. My brain.
3. The stories and songs of others.
4. Yarn.
5. Cats.
6. A home.
7. People who share my humor.
8. Security.
Eight people who inspire me:
1. Carson McCullers.
2. P. C. Hodgell
3. Anne Sexton
4. Grant Morrison
5. Neil Gaiman
6. V. C. Andrews (because she does. I have a twisted soul and she's part of why.)
7. Marian Zimmer Bradley
8. GRRM
Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through 800 posts. It means a lot that you like to read my stuff.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Giant Lovemonsters
It's hot and summer and so everyone should get used to a lot of posts about the cats. They're basically my main source of entertainment right now because it's too hot to go anywhere and I have no money. Fluffy was begging for part of my chicken sandwich today, so I gave him some bits of it. In payment, I picked him up and held him. He got his ears rubbed and some kisses. I was certainly happy about being in Cuddletown, but he wasn't. He got away from me as fast as he possibly could. I just don't get it.
Maybe it's the meds talking, but I think it would be awesome to be in his situation. I would have some giant creature who cleans things, feeds me, gives me treats, provides me with a home and attention, and then on occasion holds me, pets me, and gives me kisses? This would be awesome. I want my own giant lovemonster!
I'd be good too! I wouldn't scratch up the furniture or knock stuff over. I wouldn't howl in protest when I was being bathed and I certainly would sit patiently whenever I needed to be given medicine. If I needed to puke, I would try my best to get to some place where my giant lovemonster would have an easy time cleaning up after me. I wouldn't make noise all night long and I would given plenty of eye contact.
Most importantly, I would happily and sweetly accept my affection. I would let my belly be rubbed. I would let my toes be massaged. I would nestle up on my lovemonster's lap and I would purr when I was kissed. They would completely know I loved them back and I would pose very cutely so they could enjoy my place in their lives and know that all they did for me was worth it.
You hear that, kitties? THAT is how you act to your human.
I think the heat may be finally getting to me.
Maybe it's the meds talking, but I think it would be awesome to be in his situation. I would have some giant creature who cleans things, feeds me, gives me treats, provides me with a home and attention, and then on occasion holds me, pets me, and gives me kisses? This would be awesome. I want my own giant lovemonster!
I'd be good too! I wouldn't scratch up the furniture or knock stuff over. I wouldn't howl in protest when I was being bathed and I certainly would sit patiently whenever I needed to be given medicine. If I needed to puke, I would try my best to get to some place where my giant lovemonster would have an easy time cleaning up after me. I wouldn't make noise all night long and I would given plenty of eye contact.
Most importantly, I would happily and sweetly accept my affection. I would let my belly be rubbed. I would let my toes be massaged. I would nestle up on my lovemonster's lap and I would purr when I was kissed. They would completely know I loved them back and I would pose very cutely so they could enjoy my place in their lives and know that all they did for me was worth it.
You hear that, kitties? THAT is how you act to your human.
I think the heat may be finally getting to me.
Friday, June 28, 2013
The Cat Days of Summer
The cats seem to have gotten used to the wet blanket idea . . . well, at least, Fluffy and Rowan have gotten used to it. They will allow the wet towels to lay on them for a while and it does seem to cool them down. Rhiannon and Tinkerbell are both still against the idea. Then again, Tink is new to the house and seems to be against most ideas. Rhiannon is crazy. Her idea of summer is laying under the sheet closet in the hallway and making random noises. She'll be this way until at least September. Seasonal madness is a very strange habit for a cat.
I had another horrible night where sleep was concerned. It mostly just didn't happen. I tried to nap some this afternoon, but that didn't go so well either. It's far less hot tonight though, so I might be able to really get some rest. That's the plan anyway. My roommate was hoping for the same thing, but that got disrupted by a skunk wandering onto the porch in front of his open windows. It's gone now, but things didn't smell all that great for a while.
Both the roommate and Tinkerbell left his room during the skunk time. I think she blamed me for the smell, but she tends to blame me for most things. That cat just is NOT warming up to me. I'm mostly okay with that though, so long as she is safe and happy with him.
All the cats continue to have a minor issue with fleas, but nothing massive or scary (yet). We're trying to keep the house clean and they get combed every day. Any fleas found on them are detained and executed. Fluffy, as part of his continual saunter into older and older age, has stopped cleaning his fur as much as he used to. We're having to brush matted up bits from his fur now. He hates it. We hate it. Still, it needs to be done and it's one thing that won't ease up even though the weather will eventually get better and the fleas will go away.
Oh! So the new cat that hangs out on the porch, Clementine, happened to be out there when the skunk visited. Fortunately, despite his whining and general lack of anything remotely resembling a brain, he managed NOT to get sprayed! I'm so proud of him.
I had another horrible night where sleep was concerned. It mostly just didn't happen. I tried to nap some this afternoon, but that didn't go so well either. It's far less hot tonight though, so I might be able to really get some rest. That's the plan anyway. My roommate was hoping for the same thing, but that got disrupted by a skunk wandering onto the porch in front of his open windows. It's gone now, but things didn't smell all that great for a while.
Both the roommate and Tinkerbell left his room during the skunk time. I think she blamed me for the smell, but she tends to blame me for most things. That cat just is NOT warming up to me. I'm mostly okay with that though, so long as she is safe and happy with him.
All the cats continue to have a minor issue with fleas, but nothing massive or scary (yet). We're trying to keep the house clean and they get combed every day. Any fleas found on them are detained and executed. Fluffy, as part of his continual saunter into older and older age, has stopped cleaning his fur as much as he used to. We're having to brush matted up bits from his fur now. He hates it. We hate it. Still, it needs to be done and it's one thing that won't ease up even though the weather will eventually get better and the fleas will go away.
Oh! So the new cat that hangs out on the porch, Clementine, happened to be out there when the skunk visited. Fortunately, despite his whining and general lack of anything remotely resembling a brain, he managed NOT to get sprayed! I'm so proud of him.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Cool Air for the Summer
With three days left until the end of the month, we finally had to break down and turn on the AC. We really didn't have much of a choice. It was 6 PM and still over 100 with a heat index of 115. We both looked fairly drained and the cats were giving us the stare of passive/aggressive death. It was time.
Of course, I wish I would have realizes that 'it would be time' a few days ago, so I could have taken the proper steps needed for the AC. We'd basically closed up the house before I came back into the living room and realized we still had curtains over the AC unit. Once those were open, we realized it was filthy. My roommate cleaned it with wet wipes and a mascara brush, but more cleaning is going to have to happen tomorrow.
Even though I've more or less done my best to brave the heat up to this point, I have to admit I was very happy to have cool air again. Actually, even better than being cool was being in a room that was dry. The humidity has been horrible and it was nice to just bask in air that didn't feel like soup. It did good things for the cats as well. Even Crazy Rhiannon came into the living room to socialize. I was happy about that, because she's been running around just acting insane for the better part of three weeks now.
According to the weather report, which can occasionally be evil and full of lies, we're only supposed to have a couple of days of horrible heat. Past that, it is supposed to be in the low 90s/mid80s again. This would be nice, because the less we use the AC, of course the better off we are financially. At the same time, we're three days until July, so I can't expect things to be reasonable or cool for very much longer.
Of course, I wish I would have realizes that 'it would be time' a few days ago, so I could have taken the proper steps needed for the AC. We'd basically closed up the house before I came back into the living room and realized we still had curtains over the AC unit. Once those were open, we realized it was filthy. My roommate cleaned it with wet wipes and a mascara brush, but more cleaning is going to have to happen tomorrow.
Even though I've more or less done my best to brave the heat up to this point, I have to admit I was very happy to have cool air again. Actually, even better than being cool was being in a room that was dry. The humidity has been horrible and it was nice to just bask in air that didn't feel like soup. It did good things for the cats as well. Even Crazy Rhiannon came into the living room to socialize. I was happy about that, because she's been running around just acting insane for the better part of three weeks now.
According to the weather report, which can occasionally be evil and full of lies, we're only supposed to have a couple of days of horrible heat. Past that, it is supposed to be in the low 90s/mid80s again. This would be nice, because the less we use the AC, of course the better off we are financially. At the same time, we're three days until July, so I can't expect things to be reasonable or cool for very much longer.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Summer Finally Starting
It's one in the morning and the heat index is still reading 99. This, oh my brothers and sisters, is the start to what hellsummers feel like. We may have had a nice first part of June, but the humidity is finally starting to make it truly unpleasant. At least I have fans to keep me less hot.
It's not all bad though. The fuckery that is Big Brother has started and my roommate and I are watching as usual. We don't always see the whole season through, but we at least start the show to see how horrible the contestants are going to be. We may stick through this one, as the twists don't seem to be as stupid as they usually are.
Big Brother actually brings back one of my best adult memories. The summer my roommate and I moved into the trailer, it was hot and horrible and just all kinds of bad. The move was difficult to accomplish and we weren't having an easy time of it. We would have to spend the day packing things up and then make several trips to take things over to the trailer. Our only vehicle at the time was my Madza 323. If you've ever seen one of these, you can imagine the difficulty of using it to move.
Anyway, midway through the process, we were pretty exhausted. Cable was on in the trailer, but the only TV we had set up was in my roommate's bedroom. I remember sitting on the floor in his room, fairly close to the AC vent, and watching Big Brother on his TV. I remember that as bad as the day had been and as bad as the move was being, we still had these nice moments of pleasure, when we could just unwind and be cool and watch idiots try to outsmart each other for money. I felt safe and I felt happy to be where I was.
So even though the show can annoy me from time to time, I will always hold it dear because of that memory. And also, the lesson connected to the memory. Even when things are stressful, it's helpful to have people in your life who can enjoy the things you enjoy, participate in a bit of mindless entertainment, and know that there is a place where you can feel safe.
It's not all bad though. The fuckery that is Big Brother has started and my roommate and I are watching as usual. We don't always see the whole season through, but we at least start the show to see how horrible the contestants are going to be. We may stick through this one, as the twists don't seem to be as stupid as they usually are.
Big Brother actually brings back one of my best adult memories. The summer my roommate and I moved into the trailer, it was hot and horrible and just all kinds of bad. The move was difficult to accomplish and we weren't having an easy time of it. We would have to spend the day packing things up and then make several trips to take things over to the trailer. Our only vehicle at the time was my Madza 323. If you've ever seen one of these, you can imagine the difficulty of using it to move.
Anyway, midway through the process, we were pretty exhausted. Cable was on in the trailer, but the only TV we had set up was in my roommate's bedroom. I remember sitting on the floor in his room, fairly close to the AC vent, and watching Big Brother on his TV. I remember that as bad as the day had been and as bad as the move was being, we still had these nice moments of pleasure, when we could just unwind and be cool and watch idiots try to outsmart each other for money. I felt safe and I felt happy to be where I was.
So even though the show can annoy me from time to time, I will always hold it dear because of that memory. And also, the lesson connected to the memory. Even when things are stressful, it's helpful to have people in your life who can enjoy the things you enjoy, participate in a bit of mindless entertainment, and know that there is a place where you can feel safe.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Taking a Stand
Tonight, Texas State Senator Wendy Davis began a 13 hour filibuster to prevent the Texas legislature from passing one of the strictest anti-abortion laws in the country. She couldn't eat, she couldn't take a break to go use the bathroom, she couldn't sit down, she couldn't even lean against the podium. Senator Davis has to keep speaking about this topic the whole time. They tried everything they could to stop her, including finally declaring her off topic because she was talking about sonograms and not abortion. The thing is, she still was talking about abortion, because the law would require women to have sonograms before having an abortion.
At one point, over 200k people were watching the livestream of this filibuster. That is how many people were interested in this, how many people wanted to watch this Senator take a stand for what she believed in. Just pass midnight, everything felt good. Everyone believed that it was over and that she'd done what she set out to do. For a moment, I felt proud to be an American, proud to witness democracy working.
And then . . . they start voting anyway. It was illegal to do the vote at that point. It shouldn't be able to stand up in court. They tried to make all kinds of bullshit excuses about why it was just perfectly FINE to cast the vote past midnight, but everyone knows it wasn't. One Senator tweeted that the vote passed at 11:59, but clearly he didn't realize that people were watching and recording what happened. Certainly they don't realize that many, many people know that they just committed fraud.
No matter how this turns out, one thing is certain, the mainstream media outlets, all of them, have rendered themselves unimportant. None of them covered this filibuster. None of them were a part of this historic point in American history. The internet watched this event, Tweeted about it, liveblogged it, talked about it on Facebook, and kept each other informed. Even if this wasn't a gamechanger in the abortion debate, it was a gamechanger in terms of how we get our news.
At one point, over 200k people were watching the livestream of this filibuster. That is how many people were interested in this, how many people wanted to watch this Senator take a stand for what she believed in. Just pass midnight, everything felt good. Everyone believed that it was over and that she'd done what she set out to do. For a moment, I felt proud to be an American, proud to witness democracy working.
And then . . . they start voting anyway. It was illegal to do the vote at that point. It shouldn't be able to stand up in court. They tried to make all kinds of bullshit excuses about why it was just perfectly FINE to cast the vote past midnight, but everyone knows it wasn't. One Senator tweeted that the vote passed at 11:59, but clearly he didn't realize that people were watching and recording what happened. Certainly they don't realize that many, many people know that they just committed fraud.
No matter how this turns out, one thing is certain, the mainstream media outlets, all of them, have rendered themselves unimportant. None of them covered this filibuster. None of them were a part of this historic point in American history. The internet watched this event, Tweeted about it, liveblogged it, talked about it on Facebook, and kept each other informed. Even if this wasn't a gamechanger in the abortion debate, it was a gamechanger in terms of how we get our news.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Auto Nonerotic Paranoia
It turns out the van only needed a couple of tired replaced due to dry rot. I say 'only,' though it still ended up costing us money that we really didn't need to spend. I was deeply relieved that this was all that was wrong with the van.
And yet . . .
See, the van has screwed up so many times this year, I just really don't even trust that it's fixed now, not any more. It was supposed to be fixed when the radiator was screwed up and it was supposed to be fixed when the thing before that was screwed up and it just goes on and on and on with this thing.
I find myself literally shaking when I think about being in the van for too long. It shakes. It rattles. It makes scary noises that can't be described as either a shake or a rattle. Maybe a death rattle? I really don't know anymore. I just know that I dread any time I have to be in the van for too long.
I also know that this isn't the way to be about your main mode of transportation.
I also know there is nothing I can do about it.
And yet . . .
See, the van has screwed up so many times this year, I just really don't even trust that it's fixed now, not any more. It was supposed to be fixed when the radiator was screwed up and it was supposed to be fixed when the thing before that was screwed up and it just goes on and on and on with this thing.
I find myself literally shaking when I think about being in the van for too long. It shakes. It rattles. It makes scary noises that can't be described as either a shake or a rattle. Maybe a death rattle? I really don't know anymore. I just know that I dread any time I have to be in the van for too long.
I also know that this isn't the way to be about your main mode of transportation.
I also know there is nothing I can do about it.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
The Wet Blanket
It's still not quite hot enough for us to justify turning on the AC, but the humidity is making it fairly uncomfortable, especially for the cats. We keep plenty of fans on, so they can get cool when they need to. The thing is, cats don't really like fans that much. They hate the mad levels of air flow and dislike the bits of stuff that may fly into their eyes. My roommate decided to search for alternatives.
One of the alternatives suggested was to wet your cat's paws with water. Now, if you own a cat or have ever owned a cat or have just even seen a cat, I'm sure you can quite clearly understand the flaw in this logic. Most cats loath water. Many consider it to be their archenemy. In fact, some cats believe that Cat Hell is just one giant bath after another. On a related note, a lot of cat owners have theorized that Hell will involve having to GIVE cats baths, one after the other. In any event, we knew dipping their paws in water wasn't going to work.
The next idea was to place a damp cloth onto the cat's back. At first glance, this idea seems almost as dangerous as the wetting of the paws, but then again, it's not sudden water, it's a slower process of water cooling the cat down, with a nice layer of fur between the cat and the water. My roommate thought this had a better chance of actually working on our little felines.
Fluffy, who is still with us by some miracle, was the first to receive the 'wet blanket' treatment. My roommate took one of our blue dishcloths and ran it under the water, making sure to get as much of the water out of it as he could before attempting to place it on the cat. He stood Fluffy up and laid the dishcloth on him. Fluff was a bit confused (but he's always a bit confused . . . I guess this was a different kind of confused . . .) but he didn't automatically push the towel off. Instead, he walked around, trying to make it just slide off of him. Finally he gave up and laid down again.
Once he was down again, he left the towel on him, and seemed to actually enjoy the cooling effect of it. After a while, he walked around again and this time, it actually did fall off. My roommate put the dishcloth down in front of him so that Fluffy could lay his paws on it. He did this for about 15 minutes before he finally decided he'd had enough.
After that, Fluff seemed happier about life. He slept quite peacefully for a while and appeared to be more alert once he woke up. His appetite was somewhat better and he even sat with me for a while and demanded some affection. This was far closer to his normal non-hot behavior. Overall, I would say the Wet Blanket Treatment worked fairly well.
I should add, however, that Fluffy is the easiest of the cats to deal with. The girls, Bitchy, Testy, and Crazy, tend to be on the more difficult and eccentric side. I'm not sure if the towel thing will be successful with them . . . or if we'll have any fingers left if we try.
One of the alternatives suggested was to wet your cat's paws with water. Now, if you own a cat or have ever owned a cat or have just even seen a cat, I'm sure you can quite clearly understand the flaw in this logic. Most cats loath water. Many consider it to be their archenemy. In fact, some cats believe that Cat Hell is just one giant bath after another. On a related note, a lot of cat owners have theorized that Hell will involve having to GIVE cats baths, one after the other. In any event, we knew dipping their paws in water wasn't going to work.
The next idea was to place a damp cloth onto the cat's back. At first glance, this idea seems almost as dangerous as the wetting of the paws, but then again, it's not sudden water, it's a slower process of water cooling the cat down, with a nice layer of fur between the cat and the water. My roommate thought this had a better chance of actually working on our little felines.
Fluffy, who is still with us by some miracle, was the first to receive the 'wet blanket' treatment. My roommate took one of our blue dishcloths and ran it under the water, making sure to get as much of the water out of it as he could before attempting to place it on the cat. He stood Fluffy up and laid the dishcloth on him. Fluff was a bit confused (but he's always a bit confused . . . I guess this was a different kind of confused . . .) but he didn't automatically push the towel off. Instead, he walked around, trying to make it just slide off of him. Finally he gave up and laid down again.
Once he was down again, he left the towel on him, and seemed to actually enjoy the cooling effect of it. After a while, he walked around again and this time, it actually did fall off. My roommate put the dishcloth down in front of him so that Fluffy could lay his paws on it. He did this for about 15 minutes before he finally decided he'd had enough.
After that, Fluff seemed happier about life. He slept quite peacefully for a while and appeared to be more alert once he woke up. His appetite was somewhat better and he even sat with me for a while and demanded some affection. This was far closer to his normal non-hot behavior. Overall, I would say the Wet Blanket Treatment worked fairly well.
I should add, however, that Fluffy is the easiest of the cats to deal with. The girls, Bitchy, Testy, and Crazy, tend to be on the more difficult and eccentric side. I'm not sure if the towel thing will be successful with them . . . or if we'll have any fingers left if we try.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Bad Friday
Today wasn't the best start to the weekend or to summer. In fact, were it not for a few highlights, today would have really been horrible. With the good parts in there, I suppose today was mostly just disappointing, stressful, and hot.
The van has decided to make a new scary noise. It's the kind of noise that vibrates the whole vehicle and we thought it would be best to take it to the mechanics so they can fix it. Again. After they have already fixed it several hundred dollars' worth of fixing already this year. I really hope that it isn't expensive this time because I'm honestly not sure how it will be paid for. What money we had to handle car repairs has been used and not given ample time to rebuild. We try to save all we can for such emergencies, but it takes a while to replenish the fund.
Despite the money side of this, I have to count my blessings here. We were in town when this happened. We didn't break down somewhere with no access to a phone. We didn't have to stand around in the hot sun while we waited for a tow truck. Rabbit Killer started when I decided to follow my roommate to the mechanic's so we could go straight home. The only thing worse than one brokeass automobile is two of them.
My roommate and I, while depressed about the situation, and nervous, tried to stay in as good spirits as we could. We laughed about our bad luck and tried our best to distract ourselves from it. We won't know what's wrong until Monday at the earliest, so no reason to let it ruin our weekend.
Later in the evening, I went to an open mic night. My friend who gifted me with the flute wanted to see my progress. I froze up and couldn't play anything for the longest time. It was awkward and embarrassing. There is no way to explain to someone you have been practicing when you still sound horrible. I have no idea what went wrong. Despite having no promise as a player, he still gifted me with another flute. That was sweet of him. I hope he doesn't think I'm taking the gifts for granted. Flute playing is actually a great joy for me.
So anyway, that was my day. It sucked, and yet it didn't. One nice thing about the Happy Meds is that they help me keep things in perspective. I'm not curled up in fetal position right now, despite the stress of the van and the bad flute playing. I know that good stuff happened too. I just wish there could have been more consistent good.
The van has decided to make a new scary noise. It's the kind of noise that vibrates the whole vehicle and we thought it would be best to take it to the mechanics so they can fix it. Again. After they have already fixed it several hundred dollars' worth of fixing already this year. I really hope that it isn't expensive this time because I'm honestly not sure how it will be paid for. What money we had to handle car repairs has been used and not given ample time to rebuild. We try to save all we can for such emergencies, but it takes a while to replenish the fund.
Despite the money side of this, I have to count my blessings here. We were in town when this happened. We didn't break down somewhere with no access to a phone. We didn't have to stand around in the hot sun while we waited for a tow truck. Rabbit Killer started when I decided to follow my roommate to the mechanic's so we could go straight home. The only thing worse than one brokeass automobile is two of them.
My roommate and I, while depressed about the situation, and nervous, tried to stay in as good spirits as we could. We laughed about our bad luck and tried our best to distract ourselves from it. We won't know what's wrong until Monday at the earliest, so no reason to let it ruin our weekend.
Later in the evening, I went to an open mic night. My friend who gifted me with the flute wanted to see my progress. I froze up and couldn't play anything for the longest time. It was awkward and embarrassing. There is no way to explain to someone you have been practicing when you still sound horrible. I have no idea what went wrong. Despite having no promise as a player, he still gifted me with another flute. That was sweet of him. I hope he doesn't think I'm taking the gifts for granted. Flute playing is actually a great joy for me.
So anyway, that was my day. It sucked, and yet it didn't. One nice thing about the Happy Meds is that they help me keep things in perspective. I'm not curled up in fetal position right now, despite the stress of the van and the bad flute playing. I know that good stuff happened too. I just wish there could have been more consistent good.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
The End of the Rough Spring
The first season of this year hasn't been easy on me. There has been a lot of car repairs and scary money moments and emotional badness. I could have done without all of it and I'm hoping that the majority of the drama for this year is behind me. I'd like a pleasant summer followed by a great autumn and a lovely winter. I think I kind of need that, as my emotional reserves for the year are pretty spent.
Or maybe I just feel that way because it's so sticky right now. We have insane levels of humidity going on. It's driving me to dourness. I think the cats feel the same way, as they're all lounging in front of fans and giving me accusing looks whenever they decide to make eye contact. I believe they think eye contact makes them hotter right now. I wouldn't be surprised if it did.
Or maybe I just feel that way because it's so sticky right now. We have insane levels of humidity going on. It's driving me to dourness. I think the cats feel the same way, as they're all lounging in front of fans and giving me accusing looks whenever they decide to make eye contact. I believe they think eye contact makes them hotter right now. I wouldn't be surprised if it did.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Side Effects
It's really not been a good day. I've had a lot of focusing issues and couldn't keep my attention on anything for more than few minutes. I've been trying to watch an episode of a show for the last two hours and I can't make it through. The show is only 50 something minutes long. This is one of the side effects of my Happy Meds. It's annoying, though the issues I have when I don't take them are far worse than the inconvenience of some trouble paying attention.
Then again, I guess there are worse side effects to have. I was watching a commercial for a product today that talked about how the side effects could include bloody ulcers and death. I'm not really sure that any medication is worth the risk of bloody ulcers and death. It was a medication for arthritis, something that almost everyone will face as they get older. Kind of makes me wonder how much people want to be outside of the pain if they will risk that. It's a scary thought.
I've been thinking about getting older a lot. I'll be 40 this year and I suppose this is the proper time to really start considering my future as an old person. I'm not really sure how it's going to work, other than the part where I die and the cats feast on my body. Aside from that,the whole thing is a mystery. Hopefully, it won't turn out to be a bad one.
Then again, I guess there are worse side effects to have. I was watching a commercial for a product today that talked about how the side effects could include bloody ulcers and death. I'm not really sure that any medication is worth the risk of bloody ulcers and death. It was a medication for arthritis, something that almost everyone will face as they get older. Kind of makes me wonder how much people want to be outside of the pain if they will risk that. It's a scary thought.
I've been thinking about getting older a lot. I'll be 40 this year and I suppose this is the proper time to really start considering my future as an old person. I'm not really sure how it's going to work, other than the part where I die and the cats feast on my body. Aside from that,the whole thing is a mystery. Hopefully, it won't turn out to be a bad one.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Play That Funky Music
Last Thursday, I met with friends at the coffee house. One of my friends showed me his latest creation, a flute made out of pvc pipe and some electrical tape. I thought it was really cool and he gave it to me as a gift. He showed me the basics of how to play and informed me that we should perform at the next open mic night at the coffee house.
The open mic night is this Friday, so I'm not sure I'll be ready to perform by then. However, even if that isn't the case, I do have to say I'm enjoying the flute. I've been playing on it for at least a couple of hours every day since he gave it to me. I'm getting better, though I still have a long way to go before I could consider myself really great at it.
In the meantime, I've located some music so I can learn songs. I want to be able to perform Christmas songs, so they've been the major part of what I've been practicing. I've also worked on some songs I just happen to love, like "House of the Rising Sun." It's not coming together yet, but I'm getting better. And my roommate is being very patient about it. Probably helps that all the fans are drowning out the noise.
The flute has brought an unexpected happiness to my life. Even though playing can be frustrating because it's new to me, there is also a lot of joy to it. I've always loved music and, even though my father is a very good musician, I never really learned to play anything all that well. I've been wanting to learn guitar for a while, but it just never happened. I never even considered playing this kind of flute, but now that I do, I really love it.
I've written before about how I feel that random acts of kindness are the best form of anarchy. This is an instance where this philosophy has been demonstrated in my own life. Someone was kind enough to randomly give me a gift and this gift has brought things to my life that I never even knew could be there. I'm so thankful for the gift and just really love the thought of what could come from this.
The open mic night is this Friday, so I'm not sure I'll be ready to perform by then. However, even if that isn't the case, I do have to say I'm enjoying the flute. I've been playing on it for at least a couple of hours every day since he gave it to me. I'm getting better, though I still have a long way to go before I could consider myself really great at it.
In the meantime, I've located some music so I can learn songs. I want to be able to perform Christmas songs, so they've been the major part of what I've been practicing. I've also worked on some songs I just happen to love, like "House of the Rising Sun." It's not coming together yet, but I'm getting better. And my roommate is being very patient about it. Probably helps that all the fans are drowning out the noise.
The flute has brought an unexpected happiness to my life. Even though playing can be frustrating because it's new to me, there is also a lot of joy to it. I've always loved music and, even though my father is a very good musician, I never really learned to play anything all that well. I've been wanting to learn guitar for a while, but it just never happened. I never even considered playing this kind of flute, but now that I do, I really love it.
I've written before about how I feel that random acts of kindness are the best form of anarchy. This is an instance where this philosophy has been demonstrated in my own life. Someone was kind enough to randomly give me a gift and this gift has brought things to my life that I never even knew could be there. I'm so thankful for the gift and just really love the thought of what could come from this.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Sad Crazy Kitties
Summer is always difficult for the cats. No matter how diligent we are about vacuuming and spraying, some fleas always make their way into the house. This means that flea combing becomes at least a twice daily ritual. They hate it. We hate it. The fleas hate it. Fairly much, it's the worse time of the day for everyone. It has to happen though, otherwise the fleas just become impossible.
When it's hot, the cats are hot and don't want to be touched. However, because they're house cats and used to being petted and held and such things, they start to go a little nutty when this isn't happening. Rhiannon is especially bad about losing her mind during the summer. She'll walk around the house and make say little noises . . . and then run away when you get too close.
So along with snatching them up to get their combing, summer means we have to snatch them up to just hold them. Whenever my roommate gets finished combing Rhiannon, she'll be passed over to me so I can hold her and talk to her soothingly for a minute or so (before she runs away). It's the best we can do until it starts to cool down again and her three sane brain cells come back from vacation.
The last couple of days have been about ten degrees cooler than it has been. Because of this, Rhiannon has resumed her habit of sleeping on me at night. In a way, this is good. It means she has more human contact and perhaps won't go as crazy as she usually does. On the other hand, I know there may be a flea or two lurking on her, which means while she's on me, I have some major fleabejeebies going on.
I guess the only good thing about the 'flea' part of summer is that it makes me look forward to the really hellishly hot part of summer because by that time, the fleas will be gone. They're smart enough to go away when it's too hot, unlike the rest of us who just sit in the house and wait for Fall.
When it's hot, the cats are hot and don't want to be touched. However, because they're house cats and used to being petted and held and such things, they start to go a little nutty when this isn't happening. Rhiannon is especially bad about losing her mind during the summer. She'll walk around the house and make say little noises . . . and then run away when you get too close.
So along with snatching them up to get their combing, summer means we have to snatch them up to just hold them. Whenever my roommate gets finished combing Rhiannon, she'll be passed over to me so I can hold her and talk to her soothingly for a minute or so (before she runs away). It's the best we can do until it starts to cool down again and her three sane brain cells come back from vacation.
The last couple of days have been about ten degrees cooler than it has been. Because of this, Rhiannon has resumed her habit of sleeping on me at night. In a way, this is good. It means she has more human contact and perhaps won't go as crazy as she usually does. On the other hand, I know there may be a flea or two lurking on her, which means while she's on me, I have some major fleabejeebies going on.
I guess the only good thing about the 'flea' part of summer is that it makes me look forward to the really hellishly hot part of summer because by that time, the fleas will be gone. They're smart enough to go away when it's too hot, unlike the rest of us who just sit in the house and wait for Fall.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Father's Day
It rained today, which made it slightly less hot than it has been for the last several days. I was fairly miserable on Thursday and Friday, but the weekend was nice. Even despite the increase in heat, we've managed to keep our AC off. Half a month without AC should make a considerable difference in our usage for the month and an even more considerable difference in our average. I'd really love to knock a few more dollars off the average, because chances are, the rates will end up being raised in other ways. If that's the case, we need all the help we can get.
I've been doing better about things as far as my meds, eating, and physical activity goes. I won't say things are perfect, because in the summer, it's difficult for me to consider things to be perfect, but they are better. I'm trying to learn some new stuff as well, which I'll blog about at a later date.
It's Father's Day. I called my dad and talked to him for a few minutes. We're not close anymore, but that doesn't hurt the way it used to. Sometimes I think that my ability to get past people stems from the pain of realizing that my father and I would never really be that close. He doesn't value me like he does my brother. I'm strange and fat and have no children for him to like. He doesn't understand me. All of this used to hurt a lot, but I suppose I've gotten used to it. Maybe the occasional phone call is enough.
I've been doing better about things as far as my meds, eating, and physical activity goes. I won't say things are perfect, because in the summer, it's difficult for me to consider things to be perfect, but they are better. I'm trying to learn some new stuff as well, which I'll blog about at a later date.
It's Father's Day. I called my dad and talked to him for a few minutes. We're not close anymore, but that doesn't hurt the way it used to. Sometimes I think that my ability to get past people stems from the pain of realizing that my father and I would never really be that close. He doesn't value me like he does my brother. I'm strange and fat and have no children for him to like. He doesn't understand me. All of this used to hurt a lot, but I suppose I've gotten used to it. Maybe the occasional phone call is enough.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Summer Sleep Memories
I complain a lot about summer. If you read the blog,you know I don't like it. I hate the heat, I hate the fleas. I hate the cost of mowing. I more or less hate all of it because I'm a bitter old bitty. This wasn't always the case though. There was a time when summer was wonderful, when it gave me a lot of really great memories.
When I was a little girl, summer nights were delightful. Our house was designed to handle summer, with high ceilings, shade trees, big porches, and lots of windows. My bedroom was at the front of the house. The wall towards the porch held not only two windows but also a door so summers for me included two widows to one side and two window plus a screened door to the other. This was way before my life got scary, so I never thought twice about the screen door being the only thing between me and the world outside. I would lay on my four poster bed and be cool and happy. Outside, crickets would chirp and whipper wills would sing. These were my first sounds of summer.
On nights when I would stay with my grandparents, I would curl up in bed with two windows open beside me. The room was small, with yellow walls and red carpet. I would play in the floor until Gran decided to come in and read to me. I would fall asleep, lulled by the sound of her voice. The bed was soft and the pillows sank slightly with my head against them. My hair would spread around me and I would pretend to be Sleeping Beauty.
When it got too hot (which, back then, didn't happen until very late July or even into August), my grandparents would move us into the living room because that is where the AC window unit was located. They would put sheets over the two couches in the room and set up a cot for me. The cot was very soft and had, to my little kid perception, a very deep mattress. As I would fall asleep, I would rest my hand against the metal sides of the cot and enjoy how cold the AC made them. The AC would be left on all night, but I would always wake up when Gran would turn it off the next morning. By that time, I would be cold and very grateful for the time away from it.
And so yeah, I'm going to go to bed soon. The windows are closed because there is a chance for rain, and unlike my house when I was a kid, most of the house doesn't have a porch to shield the windows from the elements (or us from the elements). We can't afford to keep the AC on and if anyone is going to read to me before bedtime, it's going to be me. Even still, I have all of these really sweet childhood memories of summer and I'm happy for them.
When I was a little girl, summer nights were delightful. Our house was designed to handle summer, with high ceilings, shade trees, big porches, and lots of windows. My bedroom was at the front of the house. The wall towards the porch held not only two windows but also a door so summers for me included two widows to one side and two window plus a screened door to the other. This was way before my life got scary, so I never thought twice about the screen door being the only thing between me and the world outside. I would lay on my four poster bed and be cool and happy. Outside, crickets would chirp and whipper wills would sing. These were my first sounds of summer.
On nights when I would stay with my grandparents, I would curl up in bed with two windows open beside me. The room was small, with yellow walls and red carpet. I would play in the floor until Gran decided to come in and read to me. I would fall asleep, lulled by the sound of her voice. The bed was soft and the pillows sank slightly with my head against them. My hair would spread around me and I would pretend to be Sleeping Beauty.
When it got too hot (which, back then, didn't happen until very late July or even into August), my grandparents would move us into the living room because that is where the AC window unit was located. They would put sheets over the two couches in the room and set up a cot for me. The cot was very soft and had, to my little kid perception, a very deep mattress. As I would fall asleep, I would rest my hand against the metal sides of the cot and enjoy how cold the AC made them. The AC would be left on all night, but I would always wake up when Gran would turn it off the next morning. By that time, I would be cold and very grateful for the time away from it.
And so yeah, I'm going to go to bed soon. The windows are closed because there is a chance for rain, and unlike my house when I was a kid, most of the house doesn't have a porch to shield the windows from the elements (or us from the elements). We can't afford to keep the AC on and if anyone is going to read to me before bedtime, it's going to be me. Even still, I have all of these really sweet childhood memories of summer and I'm happy for them.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Small post
Not going to be much of a post tonight. My best friend grilled our lunch and while it was excellent and I savored every bite, the smoke got to me and I still have a headache because of it. I'll try to do more of a post tomorrow. Hope you have a good weekend.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Heavy Frustrations
A while back, I talked to my doctor about dealing with an issue. Said issue causes me pain, discomfort, and mobility problems. It's something that has been a factor in my life for a while now and I want it gone. The doctor understands this and wants it gone as well. The problem is, the issue has to be handled with surgery. Surgery can only happen after an MRI of the area is done. And I can't fit into any of the MRI machines in my area. None of them. Not the closed ones. Not the open ones. None.
When I tried to deal with this issue before, I was told I needed to lose down to 500 lbs before it could happen. At the time, that felt kind of daunting, but I did it. It took longer than expected, because I lost my focus for a while, but eventually, I did it. I was so proud of myself.
The pride didn't last for every long. The people who owned the machine they THOUGHT might be able to handle me at that size were no longer in business. Everyone else uses smaller machines that can only handle people if they are under 16 inches wide when they lay down. I'm not. And the issue will keep me from being that wide for a long, long time.
I got really depressed and discouraged when I found this out. I stopped for a while. I stopped everything. Eating well. Meds. Exercise. All of it just stopped because I was somewhat overwhelmed with this idea that no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I would always be in this place I was still too far gone to be helped. It was a really devastating feeling.
I started doing some research and found out that I'm not alone. In fact, most of the time when people try to find help with MRIs, they face a lot of trouble. I'm actually lucky that I'm not like the poor woman talked about in this article, who was told to go to the zoo. That would have been beyond humiliating and I don't think I would have recovered as quickly as I did just from polite rejection.
But here's the thing:
We know that people in our culture are getting more obese.
We know that these obese people face medical issues.
We know that our current equipment can't hold them.
So, which is more logical? Telling someone who needs help RIGHT NOW that they need to lose 200 lbs before you can help them or developing equipment that can handle them RIGHT NOW? Helping them in the moment could make a considerable difference in their lives. It could make a considerable difference in mine.
When I tried to deal with this issue before, I was told I needed to lose down to 500 lbs before it could happen. At the time, that felt kind of daunting, but I did it. It took longer than expected, because I lost my focus for a while, but eventually, I did it. I was so proud of myself.
The pride didn't last for every long. The people who owned the machine they THOUGHT might be able to handle me at that size were no longer in business. Everyone else uses smaller machines that can only handle people if they are under 16 inches wide when they lay down. I'm not. And the issue will keep me from being that wide for a long, long time.
I got really depressed and discouraged when I found this out. I stopped for a while. I stopped everything. Eating well. Meds. Exercise. All of it just stopped because I was somewhat overwhelmed with this idea that no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I would always be in this place I was still too far gone to be helped. It was a really devastating feeling.
I started doing some research and found out that I'm not alone. In fact, most of the time when people try to find help with MRIs, they face a lot of trouble. I'm actually lucky that I'm not like the poor woman talked about in this article, who was told to go to the zoo. That would have been beyond humiliating and I don't think I would have recovered as quickly as I did just from polite rejection.
But here's the thing:
We know that people in our culture are getting more obese.
We know that these obese people face medical issues.
We know that our current equipment can't hold them.
So, which is more logical? Telling someone who needs help RIGHT NOW that they need to lose 200 lbs before you can help them or developing equipment that can handle them RIGHT NOW? Helping them in the moment could make a considerable difference in their lives. It could make a considerable difference in mine.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Game of Thrones Season Three: Part Three
Hey! It's the last part of my Game of Thrones review. Spoilers and stuff.
8. I have to admit that I am a huge Jaime/Brienne shipper. Actually, that isn't quite true. I didn't ship them at first, not while I was just reading the books. Back then, I wanted things to just stay friendshippy between them. The show changed this. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christie have amazing chemistry together. I loved every scene they were in, even the one on the last episode where they don't even say anything to each other. There is a power between the two of them that is quite often missing between men and women on shows, even ones who are supposed to be romantically involved.
There is a lot to love about Jaime and Brienne. They're funny. They insult each other a lot. They sword fight sexier than most people's flirt scenes. They challenge each other. They both have a lot of growing to do and are, with each other, able to start that process. Their weird rivalry begins to deepen after they are captured. They share a mutual fear and know they are the only ones who can take care of each other.
9. When I was reading the books, Thoros of Myr never stood out to me too much. He was passably interesting, in that he was a lapsed priest of R'hllor who suddenly found he had power. He had a flaming sword and he was the drinking buddy of King Robert. Meh. So we meet him again in book three when he can now bring people back from the dead . . . kind of.
One of the stand out performances for me this season was Paul Kaye's take on Thoros. Kaye has a great voice and kind of a 'sincere but sleazy' vibe to him. That isn't so easy to accomplish. Kaye takes nothing away from the Thoros in the book. He's still a drinker. He's still more than likely a womanizer. He's still prone to all of his other bad habits. Yet, at the same time, he is a man suddenly quite aware of the Divine within him. He never believed it existed before and now that he has proof, he's not sure how to handle it. It humbles him and leaves him in awe. It's also clearly confusing the hell out of him.
Kaye takes this character that I just kind of marginally paid attention to and transforms him into one of the more compelling characters of the season. The way he talked, the way he stood, even the way he would sit added so much to this reluctant priest.
10. If this was a standout season for old people and guest rites, it was also a great season for exploring the role of servants. In a story about the nobility, a lot of the time servants get ignored. They're in the background cleaning things or taking messages. And yet, there are servants who play very pivotal roles in the development of the story. In some cases, they are at the heart of the conflict.
In the show, one of the more interesting conflicts occurs because of Shae's position as both Tyrion's lover and Sansa's handmaiden. Shae adores Sansa and wants to keep her safe. At the same time, when Tyrion marries her, suddenly Shae is the servant of her lover. It is humiliating to her and even though she would kill for Sansa, she can't help but be angry every time Tyrion says something kind to the girl. I'm curious to see how Shae reacts to the news that Tyrion's family destroyed Sansa's. She may begin to see him as someone more sinister than he truly is.
The best servant in the show, even though she is technically a freewoman turned prisoner turned servant/nanny/bodyguard, is Osha. She was amazing last season when she saved Bran and Rickon from Theon and it just continues this season. Osha is basically the boys' mother at this point, as it's been well over a year since they last saw their own. She takes care of them and orders them around, basically making the majority of the decisions, even though Bran is still the one in charge. Bran respects Osha and I think that his time with her will help to shape the leader he will become. The same is true for Rickon. It's quite possible that Rickon will view Osha as his mother far more than he will even remember Catelyn.
When the boys part ways, Osha tells the Jojen and Meera to take care of Bran because he means the world to her. It's very clear that she is telling the truth. Bran is her child as much as he would be if he came from her own body. It shows how far they've come from the time she tried to kill him. It says a lot about how bonds are possible between people, no matter how different they start out.
Okay, I think that is enough review for me. I really loved this season. I think it's been the best one so far. Now I just have to wait ten months for another season. Sigh. Oh well. I can always rewatch.
8. I have to admit that I am a huge Jaime/Brienne shipper. Actually, that isn't quite true. I didn't ship them at first, not while I was just reading the books. Back then, I wanted things to just stay friendshippy between them. The show changed this. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christie have amazing chemistry together. I loved every scene they were in, even the one on the last episode where they don't even say anything to each other. There is a power between the two of them that is quite often missing between men and women on shows, even ones who are supposed to be romantically involved.
There is a lot to love about Jaime and Brienne. They're funny. They insult each other a lot. They sword fight sexier than most people's flirt scenes. They challenge each other. They both have a lot of growing to do and are, with each other, able to start that process. Their weird rivalry begins to deepen after they are captured. They share a mutual fear and know they are the only ones who can take care of each other.
9. When I was reading the books, Thoros of Myr never stood out to me too much. He was passably interesting, in that he was a lapsed priest of R'hllor who suddenly found he had power. He had a flaming sword and he was the drinking buddy of King Robert. Meh. So we meet him again in book three when he can now bring people back from the dead . . . kind of.
One of the stand out performances for me this season was Paul Kaye's take on Thoros. Kaye has a great voice and kind of a 'sincere but sleazy' vibe to him. That isn't so easy to accomplish. Kaye takes nothing away from the Thoros in the book. He's still a drinker. He's still more than likely a womanizer. He's still prone to all of his other bad habits. Yet, at the same time, he is a man suddenly quite aware of the Divine within him. He never believed it existed before and now that he has proof, he's not sure how to handle it. It humbles him and leaves him in awe. It's also clearly confusing the hell out of him.
Kaye takes this character that I just kind of marginally paid attention to and transforms him into one of the more compelling characters of the season. The way he talked, the way he stood, even the way he would sit added so much to this reluctant priest.
10. If this was a standout season for old people and guest rites, it was also a great season for exploring the role of servants. In a story about the nobility, a lot of the time servants get ignored. They're in the background cleaning things or taking messages. And yet, there are servants who play very pivotal roles in the development of the story. In some cases, they are at the heart of the conflict.
In the show, one of the more interesting conflicts occurs because of Shae's position as both Tyrion's lover and Sansa's handmaiden. Shae adores Sansa and wants to keep her safe. At the same time, when Tyrion marries her, suddenly Shae is the servant of her lover. It is humiliating to her and even though she would kill for Sansa, she can't help but be angry every time Tyrion says something kind to the girl. I'm curious to see how Shae reacts to the news that Tyrion's family destroyed Sansa's. She may begin to see him as someone more sinister than he truly is.
The best servant in the show, even though she is technically a freewoman turned prisoner turned servant/nanny/bodyguard, is Osha. She was amazing last season when she saved Bran and Rickon from Theon and it just continues this season. Osha is basically the boys' mother at this point, as it's been well over a year since they last saw their own. She takes care of them and orders them around, basically making the majority of the decisions, even though Bran is still the one in charge. Bran respects Osha and I think that his time with her will help to shape the leader he will become. The same is true for Rickon. It's quite possible that Rickon will view Osha as his mother far more than he will even remember Catelyn.
When the boys part ways, Osha tells the Jojen and Meera to take care of Bran because he means the world to her. It's very clear that she is telling the truth. Bran is her child as much as he would be if he came from her own body. It shows how far they've come from the time she tried to kill him. It says a lot about how bonds are possible between people, no matter how different they start out.
Okay, I think that is enough review for me. I really loved this season. I think it's been the best one so far. Now I just have to wait ten months for another season. Sigh. Oh well. I can always rewatch.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Game of Thrones Season Three Discussion: Part Two
Tonight I will be continuing my recap of the ten things I enjoyed the most about this season of Game of Thrones. Spoilers and all that. You have been warned. Oh, and there will end up being a part three of this because I found that I needed to say a lot of stuff about guest rite.
6. In all of the sadness and chaos of the Red Wedding, one almost forgets how absolutely funny Edmure has been all season. Edmure Tully, Catelyn's younger, basically useless brother, bumbles along perfectly in the show. The Blackfish comments that the gods love a fool, and this is quite true with Edmure. His introduction into the show is him failing to shoot an arrow onto his father's funeral pyre . . . three times. The next encounter with him involves him bragging about a victory that he basically screwed up.
Edmure is also the red haring part of the Red Wedding. The RW plays out like a Shakespearean tragedy, with most of our main cast (for that story line) dead by the end. Edmure's part of the wedding, however, lulls the viewer into thinking this is more like a Shakespearean comedy.The evil old lord is forcing our hapless hero to marry one of his daughters (most of whom are not attractive) and then, much to his delight, he is married to the beautiful one. Edmure's lighthearted doofiness leads us right down the path into the more serious horror that is to follow.
7. The Red Wedding is one of many examples of a theme that plays throughout the season, and that is the sacredness of Guest Rite. In any society that is only somewhat civilized, customs and traditions are needed to keep people from killing each other constantly. One of these is the idea that you do not harm a guest in your home. If you are a guest in someone's home, you do not harm your host. Usually this rite was enacted by the mutual consumption of something. The Freys offered Robb and his party bread and salt. Dany offered the sellsword captains wine. Once this happens, the guests and host are protected against one another.
Roose Bolton welcomes Jaime and Brienne at Harrenhall and treats them as honored guests. He tends to Jaime's wounds, he allows them to bathe, and they have dinner with him. Of course with Roose, guest rites will only go so far. They extend completely to Jaime, who has a powerful family, but not so far to Brienne. Despite being uneducated in many ways, Dany understands about guest rite. When one of the sellsword captains insults her, her warriors offer to kill him but she says no, because the man is their guest. Even Craster, for all his awfulness, understood Guest Rite. He told Mormont he allowed his men to stay because of his fear of the gods. It's too bad for Craster that the Night's Watch don't feel the same way.
When Craster's daughter is brought to Castle Black, Maester Aemon welcomes her as a guest. I like the scene because it ties two of the themes of the season, guest rite and powerful old people, together in a really nice way. Aemon questions Sam about why he brought her there, more wanting to understand Sam's reasons than be convinced. Once he welcomes Gilly into the castle, she shows visible relief. Even as a wildling, she understands the sacred nature of being a guest.
It could be said that Stannis almost violates guest rite (saved from it by Davos, as always), but I don't think it quite counts. When Mel brings Gendry to Dragonstone, she's the one who insists that the boy be fed, cleaned, and given a room. Stannis never welcomes his nephew at all, so he's never really Stannis's guest. Mind you, as obtuse as Stannis can be, this is probably more from his lack of social grace than it is from some clever way to try and get out of guest rite.
Robb Stark's season revolves around two cases of guest rite, both of which go very wrong. The first one happens at Riverrun. When Edmure won his pointless battle, he captured two Lannisters. The boys were only 14 or 15 and held no real political value. Even though they are kept in a cell, they are given food and comfort. Their wounds are tended. In the middle of the night, Lord Karstark kills the boys because they are Lannisters and he wants vengeance for Jaime killing his sons. Because he violates guest rite (and kills children who had nothing to do with his sons' deaths and disobeyed orders), Robb cuts off his head.
Then, of course, there is the Red Wedding. Lord Frey extends safety to Robb and all of his people while he is under the old man's roof. Bread and salt are eaten as a token of this vow. It is, truly, witnessed by the gods. Then Lord Walder has Robb, his wife, his mother, his direwolf, and almost all of his men slaughtered during the wedding feast. He watches the whole thing and laughs, never even bothering to worry about what it might mean for him and his house in the future.
But there will be future consequences. In the last episode, Bran tells a story about a cook at the Nightfort. The cook hated the King and when the King came to visit, the cook baked his son into a pie. The gods were so angry over this violation of guest rite that they cursed the cook to become a giant white rat who always ate his own young. This story, coming at the end of a season where aspects of guest rite were obeyed or violated, served as an interesting hint of what may be in store for people like Walder Frey.
6. In all of the sadness and chaos of the Red Wedding, one almost forgets how absolutely funny Edmure has been all season. Edmure Tully, Catelyn's younger, basically useless brother, bumbles along perfectly in the show. The Blackfish comments that the gods love a fool, and this is quite true with Edmure. His introduction into the show is him failing to shoot an arrow onto his father's funeral pyre . . . three times. The next encounter with him involves him bragging about a victory that he basically screwed up.
Edmure is also the red haring part of the Red Wedding. The RW plays out like a Shakespearean tragedy, with most of our main cast (for that story line) dead by the end. Edmure's part of the wedding, however, lulls the viewer into thinking this is more like a Shakespearean comedy.The evil old lord is forcing our hapless hero to marry one of his daughters (most of whom are not attractive) and then, much to his delight, he is married to the beautiful one. Edmure's lighthearted doofiness leads us right down the path into the more serious horror that is to follow.
7. The Red Wedding is one of many examples of a theme that plays throughout the season, and that is the sacredness of Guest Rite. In any society that is only somewhat civilized, customs and traditions are needed to keep people from killing each other constantly. One of these is the idea that you do not harm a guest in your home. If you are a guest in someone's home, you do not harm your host. Usually this rite was enacted by the mutual consumption of something. The Freys offered Robb and his party bread and salt. Dany offered the sellsword captains wine. Once this happens, the guests and host are protected against one another.
Roose Bolton welcomes Jaime and Brienne at Harrenhall and treats them as honored guests. He tends to Jaime's wounds, he allows them to bathe, and they have dinner with him. Of course with Roose, guest rites will only go so far. They extend completely to Jaime, who has a powerful family, but not so far to Brienne. Despite being uneducated in many ways, Dany understands about guest rite. When one of the sellsword captains insults her, her warriors offer to kill him but she says no, because the man is their guest. Even Craster, for all his awfulness, understood Guest Rite. He told Mormont he allowed his men to stay because of his fear of the gods. It's too bad for Craster that the Night's Watch don't feel the same way.
When Craster's daughter is brought to Castle Black, Maester Aemon welcomes her as a guest. I like the scene because it ties two of the themes of the season, guest rite and powerful old people, together in a really nice way. Aemon questions Sam about why he brought her there, more wanting to understand Sam's reasons than be convinced. Once he welcomes Gilly into the castle, she shows visible relief. Even as a wildling, she understands the sacred nature of being a guest.
It could be said that Stannis almost violates guest rite (saved from it by Davos, as always), but I don't think it quite counts. When Mel brings Gendry to Dragonstone, she's the one who insists that the boy be fed, cleaned, and given a room. Stannis never welcomes his nephew at all, so he's never really Stannis's guest. Mind you, as obtuse as Stannis can be, this is probably more from his lack of social grace than it is from some clever way to try and get out of guest rite.
Robb Stark's season revolves around two cases of guest rite, both of which go very wrong. The first one happens at Riverrun. When Edmure won his pointless battle, he captured two Lannisters. The boys were only 14 or 15 and held no real political value. Even though they are kept in a cell, they are given food and comfort. Their wounds are tended. In the middle of the night, Lord Karstark kills the boys because they are Lannisters and he wants vengeance for Jaime killing his sons. Because he violates guest rite (and kills children who had nothing to do with his sons' deaths and disobeyed orders), Robb cuts off his head.
Then, of course, there is the Red Wedding. Lord Frey extends safety to Robb and all of his people while he is under the old man's roof. Bread and salt are eaten as a token of this vow. It is, truly, witnessed by the gods. Then Lord Walder has Robb, his wife, his mother, his direwolf, and almost all of his men slaughtered during the wedding feast. He watches the whole thing and laughs, never even bothering to worry about what it might mean for him and his house in the future.
But there will be future consequences. In the last episode, Bran tells a story about a cook at the Nightfort. The cook hated the King and when the King came to visit, the cook baked his son into a pie. The gods were so angry over this violation of guest rite that they cursed the cook to become a giant white rat who always ate his own young. This story, coming at the end of a season where aspects of guest rite were obeyed or violated, served as an interesting hint of what may be in store for people like Walder Frey.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Game of Thrones Season Three Discussion: Part One
Another season of Game of Thrones is over, my how quickly these last 11 weeks have flown by (it would have been ten, but they skipped a week). Lots of people are recapping the season and complaining about the stuff they didn't like. I'm not going to complain though. There are things they left out of the books and things they changed, but that is the nature of an adaptation. As far as I am concerned, ShowGame of Thrones is not the same as Book Game of Thrones. It's a world very close to it with some of the same people and similar situations, but not an exact copy.
With that in mind, these are the ten things I loved the most about the season. Some of them were moments, some of them themes, others just scenarios. Oh by the way, spoilers.
1. I loved the alterations to Dany's story line.They took out the mystery of who Barristan was and they condenced the sellsword companies into one, which honestly worked better for TV. A lot of people hate Dany and will complain about anything she does. She freed slaves so they bitch that she has a messiah complex. Had she not freed the slaves, they would have bitched 'that girl walked right by those slaves and didn't bat an eyelash. She's so selfish.' Dany can't win with some people.
One of the aspects of Dany that gets the most complaints is her relationship with Daario. Show Daario is less extreme looking than Book Daario. He even has a theme, in that he believes every situation has a choice, even if that choice is death. I think this will be a very challenging concept for Dany, because she's spent her whole life reacting to situations with the belief that she had no options. His concept of personal choice will probably destroy their relationship, but she will be better off to have learned the lesson.
2. Tywin and anyone. Charles Dance is truly one of the best assets of the show. His portrayal of Tywin Lannister is so commanding that you have no doubt that he truly is the one who is running everything. Last season he was mostly with Arya, and we saw a gentler, more reflective Tywin. This season, he rules the 7 Kingdoms from the Tower of the Hand, lording over everyone. He tells off Cersei. He destroys Tyrion twice. I think he may have seduced Olenna Tyrell.
The cherry on the top of all of this is how he handles Joffery. The young spoiled king is used to getting his way and intimidating everyone. In the last episode of the season, Tywin basically tells Joff that he's a cranky child who should go to his room . . . and Joffery does.
3. Tywin is just one example of a theme that I really enjoyed in this season . . . very powerful old people. This is a harsh world, so anyone who makes it to old age is either very lucky or very crafty. Usually, they're a bit of both. Tywin and Olenna proved to be the unquestioning rulers of their families. When they commanded, people did as they were told. Lady Olenna Tyrell certainly caused an impact on things, as she is one of the few older women we see in power. She is blunt, witty, and capable of seeing through people's flattery. She really lived up to the title The Queen of Thorns.
With that in mind, these are the ten things I loved the most about the season. Some of them were moments, some of them themes, others just scenarios. Oh by the way, spoilers.
1. I loved the alterations to Dany's story line.They took out the mystery of who Barristan was and they condenced the sellsword companies into one, which honestly worked better for TV. A lot of people hate Dany and will complain about anything she does. She freed slaves so they bitch that she has a messiah complex. Had she not freed the slaves, they would have bitched 'that girl walked right by those slaves and didn't bat an eyelash. She's so selfish.' Dany can't win with some people.
One of the aspects of Dany that gets the most complaints is her relationship with Daario. Show Daario is less extreme looking than Book Daario. He even has a theme, in that he believes every situation has a choice, even if that choice is death. I think this will be a very challenging concept for Dany, because she's spent her whole life reacting to situations with the belief that she had no options. His concept of personal choice will probably destroy their relationship, but she will be better off to have learned the lesson.
2. Tywin and anyone. Charles Dance is truly one of the best assets of the show. His portrayal of Tywin Lannister is so commanding that you have no doubt that he truly is the one who is running everything. Last season he was mostly with Arya, and we saw a gentler, more reflective Tywin. This season, he rules the 7 Kingdoms from the Tower of the Hand, lording over everyone. He tells off Cersei. He destroys Tyrion twice. I think he may have seduced Olenna Tyrell.
The cherry on the top of all of this is how he handles Joffery. The young spoiled king is used to getting his way and intimidating everyone. In the last episode of the season, Tywin basically tells Joff that he's a cranky child who should go to his room . . . and Joffery does.
3. Tywin is just one example of a theme that I really enjoyed in this season . . . very powerful old people. This is a harsh world, so anyone who makes it to old age is either very lucky or very crafty. Usually, they're a bit of both. Tywin and Olenna proved to be the unquestioning rulers of their families. When they commanded, people did as they were told. Lady Olenna Tyrell certainly caused an impact on things, as she is one of the few older women we see in power. She is blunt, witty, and capable of seeing through people's flattery. She really lived up to the title The Queen of Thorns.
Lord Commander Mormont held the Night's Watch together for as long as he could, keeping them alive despite physical hardship and paradigm shifts. He even tried to be a shield between the Watch and Craster, and another powerful old man. Mormont failed and his men killed him and Craster both, but his power was still felt. When he was killed, his men were no better off. They basically fell into chaos. The Lord Commander's son found himself playing second fiddle to Ser Barristan. Once the old knight joined Dany's group, Jorah's status was threatened.
Aside from Tywin, though in terms of conspiracy, along with Tywin, the old person who had the biggest impact on the season was Lord Walder Frey. Lord Walder only appears in two episodes of the season, but the threat of him casts a long shadow over Robb's plotline. Once they finally meet up again, he is even more horrible than imagined.
4. Of course, Lord Walder Frey plays a large role in one of the most defining scenes in the series. I would be remiss to do this list without including Robb and Catelyn Stark's final moments. I wrote before about how Catelyn kills Jinglebell at the wedding and how much that hurts. In the show, she kills Walder Frey's current wife, which in some ways is even more cruel. When Catelyn tells him that she will kill the wife, he just casually comments that he'll just find a new wife.
Catelyn begs Robb to walk away and her begging is so deeply heartbreaking. As he is accepting that his life is at an end, he looks at her and says, "Mother." It's a goodbye, a heartbreaking goodbye. She watches him die and then kills the Frey wife as promised, before standing in utter horror at the scene before her. When her throat is slit, I actually felt relieved for her, because at least the pain was over . . for the moment.
Aside from Tywin, though in terms of conspiracy, along with Tywin, the old person who had the biggest impact on the season was Lord Walder Frey. Lord Walder only appears in two episodes of the season, but the threat of him casts a long shadow over Robb's plotline. Once they finally meet up again, he is even more horrible than imagined.
4. Of course, Lord Walder Frey plays a large role in one of the most defining scenes in the series. I would be remiss to do this list without including Robb and Catelyn Stark's final moments. I wrote before about how Catelyn kills Jinglebell at the wedding and how much that hurts. In the show, she kills Walder Frey's current wife, which in some ways is even more cruel. When Catelyn tells him that she will kill the wife, he just casually comments that he'll just find a new wife.
Catelyn begs Robb to walk away and her begging is so deeply heartbreaking. As he is accepting that his life is at an end, he looks at her and says, "Mother." It's a goodbye, a heartbreaking goodbye. She watches him die and then kills the Frey wife as promised, before standing in utter horror at the scene before her. When her throat is slit, I actually felt relieved for her, because at least the pain was over . . for the moment.
5. On this same episode was the beautiful moment of Brandon Stark, Lord of Winterfell. Bran knew he needed to go North and that going North was very dangerous. As much as he wanted to keep his little brother with him, he couldn't put his life at risk. One of the themes of the season was personal happiness versus what was best for the family. It was quite clear that Bran wanted to keep what was left of his family together, but at the same time, he knew his destiny lay past the Wall.
At the same time, with Robb off to war, Bran was acting Lord of Winterfell. He needed to make decisions that were best for his family and given that both he and Robb were in considerable risk, the most important thing was for Rickon to be kept safe. Tearfully and with a broken heart, he ordered his little brother and Osha to go to the Umbers. He knew they would be safe there and Rickon was quite possibly the last Stark male capable of fathering children.
By the end of the story, I don't think that Bran will be the Lord of Winterfell or the King in the North. I think his path is going to take him and keep him in places deeper and more mystical than that. I think he would have made a great Lord Winterfell though. I think Bran has the kind of heart and wisdom that are needed to rule not only a castle and a kingdom, but a family.
Okay, so that is the first part of this. I honestly planned on just making one post, but it kept getting bigger and bigger. So, tomorrow I'll finish out with my other five. Until then, keep calm and kill Freys.
At the same time, with Robb off to war, Bran was acting Lord of Winterfell. He needed to make decisions that were best for his family and given that both he and Robb were in considerable risk, the most important thing was for Rickon to be kept safe. Tearfully and with a broken heart, he ordered his little brother and Osha to go to the Umbers. He knew they would be safe there and Rickon was quite possibly the last Stark male capable of fathering children.
By the end of the story, I don't think that Bran will be the Lord of Winterfell or the King in the North. I think his path is going to take him and keep him in places deeper and more mystical than that. I think he would have made a great Lord Winterfell though. I think Bran has the kind of heart and wisdom that are needed to rule not only a castle and a kingdom, but a family.
Okay, so that is the first part of this. I honestly planned on just making one post, but it kept getting bigger and bigger. So, tomorrow I'll finish out with my other five. Until then, keep calm and kill Freys.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Wire Trappings
So come to find out, it looks like the government really IS listening in on our conversations and tracking our social media stuff. I don't see why people are freaked out about this. Okay, I DO see why . . . violation of privacy and all that stuff . . . but can we really be surprised? Honestly? How could they not be listening in on us? That just seems like something the government WOULD do, because they have no concept of integrity.
I'm guessing the reason they do this is because corporations are paying them money to do marketing research. After all, paying real employees to do that would take a lot more money than some government bribes and market research would be somewhat difficult for 7 year olds in third world countries to try and accomplish. Hey, so the feds it is!
This has to be the worst government job you could get though. People probably get talked into it with promises of glory (you'll find the next big terrorists!) and end up just wanting to shoot themselves after about the first week. Why, you ask? Oh come on! There may be some amusing things being posted out there or being talked about on phones, but most of it is deeply trivial and mundane shit. I may love the idea of a complex and deeply intelligent society, but I've also seen shows on Bravo and I know better.
What will government people hear from us?
"Baby? B-baby? This is Rufus. Listen, I know it's four inna morning and I know I'm drunk....but....I love ya, baby. Can you just....call me back. Love ya! Please?"
"Blaine? This is your mother. I know this is the seventh time I've called today, but I want you to call me back. It's cloudy outside and I want to know if you've left the windows down in your car. I won't stop worrying until you call me back and tell me."
As if that was bad enough, you will also get endless discussions of sports and sports players. Hours of people complaining about their loved ones. Countless discussions of "that bitch." And billions of teenagers expressing themselves with noises that sound like a cat hacking up a hairball. Seriously, how do you even transcribe those noises? "Hhhhhrrrrkkkkksssssk." That is not a word . . . even though when someone makes that noise, you get the idea.
So, yeah, in conclusion. Government shouldn't be listening to us, but at the same time, it shouldn't surprise us that they do, and it is probably a horrible and confusing job. And now I'm gonna go to sleep. I promise my government listeners that I'll try to be more entertaining tomorrow. Hhhhhhrrrrkkkkkkssssk.
I'm guessing the reason they do this is because corporations are paying them money to do marketing research. After all, paying real employees to do that would take a lot more money than some government bribes and market research would be somewhat difficult for 7 year olds in third world countries to try and accomplish. Hey, so the feds it is!
This has to be the worst government job you could get though. People probably get talked into it with promises of glory (you'll find the next big terrorists!) and end up just wanting to shoot themselves after about the first week. Why, you ask? Oh come on! There may be some amusing things being posted out there or being talked about on phones, but most of it is deeply trivial and mundane shit. I may love the idea of a complex and deeply intelligent society, but I've also seen shows on Bravo and I know better.
What will government people hear from us?
"Baby? B-baby? This is Rufus. Listen, I know it's four inna morning and I know I'm drunk....but....I love ya, baby. Can you just....call me back. Love ya! Please?"
"Blaine? This is your mother. I know this is the seventh time I've called today, but I want you to call me back. It's cloudy outside and I want to know if you've left the windows down in your car. I won't stop worrying until you call me back and tell me."
As if that was bad enough, you will also get endless discussions of sports and sports players. Hours of people complaining about their loved ones. Countless discussions of "that bitch." And billions of teenagers expressing themselves with noises that sound like a cat hacking up a hairball. Seriously, how do you even transcribe those noises? "Hhhhhrrrrkkkkksssssk." That is not a word . . . even though when someone makes that noise, you get the idea.
So, yeah, in conclusion. Government shouldn't be listening to us, but at the same time, it shouldn't surprise us that they do, and it is probably a horrible and confusing job. And now I'm gonna go to sleep. I promise my government listeners that I'll try to be more entertaining tomorrow. Hhhhhhrrrrkkkkkkssssk.
Friday, June 7, 2013
More Thoughts on Sims 4
In Sims 2, enemies could do various things to your yard. They could kick over your trashcan, which could invite cockroaches to invade your lot. They could leave bags of poo at your door. Once magic was introduced, they could make it rain and cause some other levels of damage. It was annoying, but really didn't cause that much harm. In Sims 3, you could declare someone a nemesis and had a negative buffer when they were around, but beyond that, very little happened. Sims could fight each other, of course. In Sims 3, later expansion packs allowed for rumors to cause damage to reputation of the sim, but that was never directly from an enemy.
In Sims 4, I would like for the concept of enemies to be expanded. I would love for families to be able to war with each other, making it very difficult for members of the rival families to become friends or even coworkers. They would crash each other's parties and start fights. They would try to ruin each other's gardens, spread rumors, and cause general problems for each other. Family sims would have an interaction with each other to Discuss Rival Family. It would build their relationship with each other, while further destroying the one with the enemy family.
This kind of situation would cause Evil sims to thrive, because they had someone to focus on and Good sims to fret because they didn't want to hate others. Perhaps there could even be a quest for Good sims to go on where they could possibly mend the riff between families.
Of course, if a family was hated enough, perhaps they could even earn a Curse from an enemy. Expanding on the curse spells from the sims magic packs of the older games, a Curse in 4 could be something leveled at the whole family and future generations, not just at one person. The curses could range in strength from "House is always dirty" to "Each family member dies before reaching old age." Like curses in real life, it shouldn't be apparent from the start that the curse has happened. The player would have to notice that fires break out every time someone cooks and then go consult an expert on the nature of the curse and how to get it removed. Removal could involve a quest of some sort.
How would curses come about? I would like for them to be part of another aspect of the game I would love to see. It would be called Dying Wish. In sims 2, when a sim died, people would inherit money depending on their relationship with the deceased, but you as a player had no control over that. In sims 3, you get everything in a person's inventory when they died, if they lived on your lot. Other than making people sad for a couple of days and creating ghosts, death really had no other effect on the living.
Once a sim achieved their life time wish and had some kids, a lot of their aspiration points were just being wasted. Sure, you could purchase some items that could be left for the coming generations, but once those things were purchased by one sim, it wasn't really necessary for them to be bought again. Aspiration points would build and build and nothing of consequence could be done with them. It made it very tempting to kill of any old sims who weren't needed to help with the kids.
However, if the goal of a Dying Wish was added into the game, suddenly elder sims become far more important to play. Dying Wishes would consist of a list of things that could truly improve (or harm) the lives of the sims left behind. The point total to unlock a Dying Wish would need to be really high so that the player would be encouraged to really work with their elders and fulfill their goals.
Along with Curse Enemy Family and the various ways one could do that, a Dying Wish could also do things like gain special abilities, special items, or adding bonuses like easier career advancement. A Dying Wish shouldn't be something that could be accomplished in other, easier ways like "Get a Bunch of Money." Anything that could be done with a cheat code shouldn't count as dying wish.
One potent possible Dying Wish could be that sims wish to Come Back as Ancestral Spirit. Instead of being some mindless ghost who just scared people and shook the beds, an Ancestral Spirit would be there to really benefit the family. For one thing, they would not cost a slot of the family max. Like a Butler, they would stay on the lot, even if 8 sims already lived there.
They could function as a babysitter and watch the children while the adults were gone. Sims could ask to be tutored and the Ancestral Spirit would teach them any skills they knew in life. They could also guard the house from robbers and anyone else who might pose a threat. Ancestral Spirits would build relationships with each generation of the family. They could teach family lore (which would strengthen the family bonds) and talk to sims about ancestors they favored.
I know this is a lot of stuff that deals with the family unit, but as I said in last night's post, the family unit and the ability to grow multiple generations is truly one of the strongest appeals of the The Sims. I think if the game designers would build on THAT foundation, they could take the game to some amazing places.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
How To Improve on a Good Thing: Sims Addition Part I
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| Yes, this is the Founder of a family. |
I started thinking about what I love about the Sims and, at the same time, what truly bores me about the game. I love building houses and decorating them. I love making stories. I love creating sims and watching them live their lives. I like that they can have children. AND . . . I get bored with skilling them, making them work, and all the little crap you have to go through to make that happen.
The reason I get bored with all of that is because there never seems to be all that grand of a reward at the end of it. So I get a trophy? I get some unlocked outfits? If I get to the top of Director, I get . . . a chair. A CHAIR? Really? I don't give a crap what this chair does, it is still a chair!
Sims needs better rewards and better stakes. It needs to have stronger consequences, and, because this is a game that can last for generations where time plays out on the whole world, it needs to have some things that are generational consequences.
I think the main thing I would like to see in 4 is a stronger emphasis on family and legacy. One of the best and most popular non-official aspects of Sims is the concept of the Legacy Challenge. Started by a player, the challenge set up rules for seeing a family line through ten generations. Points were awarded for various things. Many sim players tried it and the best of them succeeded in telling some of the coolest stories I'd read in a long time.
I really thought that after Sims 2, the game producers would get the hint and really build up the strength of the family. After all, the very FACT that you can breed generation after generation of sims is one of the coolest features of the game. Possibly more than anything else, this is what draws people to Sims and one of the things that always will.
In Sims 4, the developers could really restructure the family dynamic and make it into something very strong. They could use it to be the foundation of how the game and the sims themselves were structured. Here are some possible ways to do that.
Founder Focus. Every sim family starts with a founder, that first sim that you create to get the ball rolling on what the family could be. The founding Sim is always unique because it is the place where you as the player have the most choices. When you start a new game, you have the option of choosing an already made sim or creating your own from scratch. (You can also opt for starting in an already made family, but in that case, you could be allowed to designate someone within that household as your Founder).
The designated Founder Sim could be altered in 4 to where he or she played a significant role in the future of the family. For one thing, the game could make sure the last name stays as the Founder's last name (a thing the game has a problem with sometimes). But that shouldn't be the only thing the family keeps.
I'll get more into how Personality Traits should be altered in a later post, but part of that change should involve the Founder. Every generation that follows should have at least two personality traits that were part of the original Founder's traits. It ensures that the Founder's legacy truly does continue in the family.
The same should hold true for the physical appearance of the Sims. Each following generation should contain at least one trait from the Founder. Her nose, his hair color, her eye shape, his jawline. Something that ties these sims back to the one who started it all.
But connecting both personality and physical traits to the founder, the family begins to take on a stronger definition. "Ohh, that's the Jones family, freaky black eyed weasels." Your family now has a defining characteristic about them, that allows you both to play off of and demonstrate individuality by contrasting to. "Even though Cordelia Jones look shifty just like the six generations before her, she wants to live a life of honesty." That kind of thing.
I would also like the Life Time Wish expanded upon to include Generational and Legacy wishes. The Founder could set goals for the family to fulfill "Take over Riverview." "Destroy the Crumplebottom Line." "Tend to this tree in the back yard." The family could receive benefits or penalties depending on how well they fulfilled these goals.
One of the later additions to the game that I found both vexing and entertaining has been the concept of Reputation. While Sims 3 only added Reputation in terms of relationships, I would like to see 4 expand it to be something along the lines of Family Reputation. Each family member can either help or harm the reputation (gives good parties, adds to Family Rep/blows up people's cars, detracts from Family Rep).
Reputation would have a dramatic effect on family members. If the family's rep is bad, members might not be able to get promotions or date certain people. They might be less likely to get promotions. By comparison, families with good reps (or perhaps those with a reputation for being evil) might have things come to them in an easier way. Again, the Founder would have a unique situation in that they would begin the game with no Family Rep (meaning they neither benefited nor suffered because of it) and would be the one to begin to shape what that reputation would be.
This post is getting superlong so I should end it. Tomorrow I'm going to pick up where I left off and talk about how generations past the Founder could affect the direction of the family, then maybe get into some other areas. In the meantime, yes, I know I'm geeking about something. On the other hand, I'm rather happy and less sarcastic and stabby than I have been.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Twisty Positives
I've been pretty negative lately and I really need to try to get past that. I'm not quite to the point where I CAN get past it, but I know I need to. With that in mind, I'm going to try and make five positive statements . . . even if they are positives in my own twisted little way.
- I don't have any stalkers. Having a stalker would be really horrifying. Stalkers more or less destroy (sometimes literally) the lives of their victims and create a situation where the person being stalked feels like they are stuck in a prison. If I did have a stalker, I think I would try and find a way to escalate the situation so maybe they could either get arrested or destroyed before too much harm came to me. I do, however, doubt this will ever be a problem for me.
- No one feels I have put them in The Friend Zone. Just one step down from stalkers are those people who believe that you have committed the 'sin' of being their friend and only their friend when they want something romantic/sexual with you. As I do as much as I can to look as unattractive as possible, I doubt I will ever have to face this problem.
- I'm not having to choose between two people that I am in love with. Actually, I don't believe this COULD be a problem for me. I sort of adhere to the logic that if you find yourself to be in love with two people, always choose the second one because if the first one was enough to make you happy, you wouldn't have fallen in love with someone else in the first place. Staying with Person A is usually done out of guilt. Guilt really isn't a good foundation for a relationship, no matter what religion says.
- I will never be in a relationship where I have to wonder if the other person only values me for my looks. There is actually a remote chance this could happen, but it's pretty damned remote.
- There is a deep, beautiful freedom in the moment when you realize the person you are talking to is full crap and you just honestly don't care what they say any more. If you've ever experienced this, it's quite lovely. There are, of course, relationships that rip out your soul when they end. There are other relationships that end because you realize that the fault is not with the universe or fate or the world not wanting you to have love . . . the fault is that you stupidly allowed yourself to have feelings for this person and they suck. For a moment, that is kind of devastating, but past that point, you just honestly don't care anymore, which is bliss.
So there you have it, my own little venomous list of the positives in live. I hope they bring you some comfort.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Midday Posts for the Win
I'm writing this post early because if I don't, tonight will probably end up like last night, with me having a headache, a stabby disposition, and no will to write anything or communicate anything. I truly dislike my sinuses right now. I also dislike dust, mold, and cat hair. They're all conspiring against me and making my life as difficult as possible.
Everyone handles the sinus hell in a different way. Some people are just uncomfortable, but otherwise still themselves. Other people feel like their eyes have swollen shut. Others get pressure and swelling in their whole face. I'm one of these people. There have been many a Spring when I wished I could just drill a hole in my head and let the pressure out.
When this kind of thing happens, I mostly just want to be left to myself. I don't feel talkative or creative or social. Any attempts to make me be any of these things fills me with resentment and evil. For anyone who isn't a morning person, imagine feeling the way you do when you first wake up all day long . . . while your ears are itchy. I just want to be left in my own little world and not have to factor into anyone else's. I get snappy when this doesn't happen. Sinus Time, ideally, would be Alone Time with Cookies. Though, of course for me, that's kind of the ideal anyway.
On a less bitchful note, Lumosity is proving to be very interesting. If you are interested in quick brain workouts, I highly suggest it. I told my therapist about it today and she seemed pretty interested. We also talked about the next wave of how I want my therapy to go. I'm feeling pretty good about that.
Or . . . as good as I can feel with itchy ears.
Everyone handles the sinus hell in a different way. Some people are just uncomfortable, but otherwise still themselves. Other people feel like their eyes have swollen shut. Others get pressure and swelling in their whole face. I'm one of these people. There have been many a Spring when I wished I could just drill a hole in my head and let the pressure out.
When this kind of thing happens, I mostly just want to be left to myself. I don't feel talkative or creative or social. Any attempts to make me be any of these things fills me with resentment and evil. For anyone who isn't a morning person, imagine feeling the way you do when you first wake up all day long . . . while your ears are itchy. I just want to be left in my own little world and not have to factor into anyone else's. I get snappy when this doesn't happen. Sinus Time, ideally, would be Alone Time with Cookies. Though, of course for me, that's kind of the ideal anyway.
On a less bitchful note, Lumosity is proving to be very interesting. If you are interested in quick brain workouts, I highly suggest it. I told my therapist about it today and she seemed pretty interested. We also talked about the next wave of how I want my therapy to go. I'm feeling pretty good about that.
Or . . . as good as I can feel with itchy ears.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
The Real Shame
As I am sure you know, there are websites out there that exist basically to destroy women's lives. They're called Revenge Porn sites and basically they are places where pictures and videos of women are posted, without their permission, of them naked or performing acts of a sexual nature. People post these videos to shame the women in them and it works. Some of these women have lost jobs over their images being out there in cyberspace. Some have lost standing in public. Others have committed suicide.
When people talk about this issue, they almost always begin with the same comment. "These girls should know better. They shouldn't send naked pictures of themselves to people! They shouldn't make those videos!" There is always a lot of discussion of making wise decisions and considering one's future. People talk about personal responsibility and self respect. But always . . .always always . . . the discussion focuses on the women in the videos and what they should have done differently.
I will admit, in the past I have found myself doing the same thing. I would wonder why any woman would trust ANY man enough to send him pictures of herself. Of course, we all know I don't trust men at all. It should be noted that in some cases, the women don't CHOOSE to do anything here. Sometimes the videos are done without them being aware of it. Sometimes the pictures are taken without their awareness as well. Even in these cases, very little can be done to stop it.
But this is what CAN be done. We can recognize that there is no shame in the human body. There is no shame in showing your breasts. There is no shame in having sex with someone. There is no shame in being a human who does human activities. It is, after all, what we are. Just because many people happen to have proof that you do the stuff that everyone else does as well does not and SHOULD NOT make you be seen as a bad person. Even your mistake in trusting someone to respect your privacy isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a mistake that many people make (other than people like me, who would never trust a man ever, but that can be its own mistake at times as well).
The real shame here, honestly, should fall on the people who post these videos and post these pictures. These people are the ones who were trusted to show respect and honor . . . and willingly failed to do so. These people should be the ones who feel shame. These people are the ones who have done something that is wrong and it should be them who lose jobs and respect and friends. They should be the ones who are snicked at and mocked.
Will this happen? Most likely, it will not. It's a lot easier to punish women for being naked and having poor judgement than it is to punish the people who are untrustworthy and malicious. It's one of the things that sucks about our culture and one of the things that I wish would change.
However, if at one point in your life, you find out that your body and what you have done with it happen to be on public display, don't let it harm you. Hold your head high and calmly tell the world to go fuck itself. It's really no one else's business.
When people talk about this issue, they almost always begin with the same comment. "These girls should know better. They shouldn't send naked pictures of themselves to people! They shouldn't make those videos!" There is always a lot of discussion of making wise decisions and considering one's future. People talk about personal responsibility and self respect. But always . . .always always . . . the discussion focuses on the women in the videos and what they should have done differently.
I will admit, in the past I have found myself doing the same thing. I would wonder why any woman would trust ANY man enough to send him pictures of herself. Of course, we all know I don't trust men at all. It should be noted that in some cases, the women don't CHOOSE to do anything here. Sometimes the videos are done without them being aware of it. Sometimes the pictures are taken without their awareness as well. Even in these cases, very little can be done to stop it.
But this is what CAN be done. We can recognize that there is no shame in the human body. There is no shame in showing your breasts. There is no shame in having sex with someone. There is no shame in being a human who does human activities. It is, after all, what we are. Just because many people happen to have proof that you do the stuff that everyone else does as well does not and SHOULD NOT make you be seen as a bad person. Even your mistake in trusting someone to respect your privacy isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a mistake that many people make (other than people like me, who would never trust a man ever, but that can be its own mistake at times as well).
The real shame here, honestly, should fall on the people who post these videos and post these pictures. These people are the ones who were trusted to show respect and honor . . . and willingly failed to do so. These people should be the ones who feel shame. These people are the ones who have done something that is wrong and it should be them who lose jobs and respect and friends. They should be the ones who are snicked at and mocked.
Will this happen? Most likely, it will not. It's a lot easier to punish women for being naked and having poor judgement than it is to punish the people who are untrustworthy and malicious. It's one of the things that sucks about our culture and one of the things that I wish would change.
However, if at one point in your life, you find out that your body and what you have done with it happen to be on public display, don't let it harm you. Hold your head high and calmly tell the world to go fuck itself. It's really no one else's business.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Game of Thrones Geekery: Nice Day for a Red Wedding
Warning: Crazy level of spoilers.
This week on Game of Thrones, they will be covering one of the most notorious scenes in the books, an event known as The Red Wedding. As would be assumed, it's called this because someone gets married and a lot of blood is spilled. Many characters die and it changes the course of the novels. It was honestly one of the most emotionally horrible things I'd ever read and just to put myself in the mood, I read it again tonight.
One of the reasons I did so was because as I was reading the boards over the event, people kept arguing about the details of how things played out. I wanted to make sure everything was fresh in my memory . . . and there has always been this lingering level of offended I feel about the whole thing, and I wasn't quite sure why. Part of it, yes, was the fact that Robb's followers died over something that was his mistake, but in a war, that is to be expected. I was also offended that his wolf was killed, as I am any time an animal is killed in a book.
Having read the chapter again, however, I realize the part of the whole event that offended me the most was when Cat Stark killed Jinglebell.
Jinglebell was one of Walder Frey's grandsons. He's mentally disabled and has been given the role of jester in his grandfather's house. This is offensive in and of itself, really and it says a lot about the Freys. The thing is, Jinglebell is an innocent. He was in the hall when all the deaths occur, but he didn't have any part of it. In fact, he was terrified and trying to hide from all the violence.
Lady Stark finds a dagger on the floor and tries to get to Lord Frey, but she's too injured by this point. She can, however, make to to Jinglebell. She holds the dagger to his throat and pleads with Lord Frey to spare her son. She says he can keep her as a hostage and do whatever he wants to her, but please let Robb live and she will let Jinglebell go. If he doesn't, she will kill him.
Lord Frey looks at his grandson and dismisses him, saying he was never of much use anyway. Robb is killed and Cat slits Jinglebell's throat before anyone can stop her. She kills an innocent man who just happened to be in her way, one whose life had consisted of nothing but misfortune, just because it is the only futile revenge she can obtain before she dies.
There are many things that other people hold Lard Stark responsible for in the books. A lot of people hate her for her treatment of Jon or for arresting Tyrion or for letting Jaime to free. All of these events have at least a level of justification to them. You may not like her actions, but you can understand them. But when she killed Jinglebell, a man who was shaking and terrified in her arms, a man who had never known a day's love or respect in his life . . . this is the action that I believe caused her to transform into the monster she later became. There was no justification for killing him. It helped her in no way and caused harm to someone who had never harmed her at all.
Of course, Jinglebell's death if very on the mark for many of the the things that Martin illustrates in his novels. Even if the powerful people think they are aiming at each other and seeking to harm each other, it is usually innocent people with no power at all who get hurt in the process. And while Robb's death and the deaths of his soldiers was a horrible thing to read about, the slaughter of Jinglebell will always be the part that haunts me the most.
This week on Game of Thrones, they will be covering one of the most notorious scenes in the books, an event known as The Red Wedding. As would be assumed, it's called this because someone gets married and a lot of blood is spilled. Many characters die and it changes the course of the novels. It was honestly one of the most emotionally horrible things I'd ever read and just to put myself in the mood, I read it again tonight.
One of the reasons I did so was because as I was reading the boards over the event, people kept arguing about the details of how things played out. I wanted to make sure everything was fresh in my memory . . . and there has always been this lingering level of offended I feel about the whole thing, and I wasn't quite sure why. Part of it, yes, was the fact that Robb's followers died over something that was his mistake, but in a war, that is to be expected. I was also offended that his wolf was killed, as I am any time an animal is killed in a book.
Having read the chapter again, however, I realize the part of the whole event that offended me the most was when Cat Stark killed Jinglebell.
Jinglebell was one of Walder Frey's grandsons. He's mentally disabled and has been given the role of jester in his grandfather's house. This is offensive in and of itself, really and it says a lot about the Freys. The thing is, Jinglebell is an innocent. He was in the hall when all the deaths occur, but he didn't have any part of it. In fact, he was terrified and trying to hide from all the violence.
Lady Stark finds a dagger on the floor and tries to get to Lord Frey, but she's too injured by this point. She can, however, make to to Jinglebell. She holds the dagger to his throat and pleads with Lord Frey to spare her son. She says he can keep her as a hostage and do whatever he wants to her, but please let Robb live and she will let Jinglebell go. If he doesn't, she will kill him.
Lord Frey looks at his grandson and dismisses him, saying he was never of much use anyway. Robb is killed and Cat slits Jinglebell's throat before anyone can stop her. She kills an innocent man who just happened to be in her way, one whose life had consisted of nothing but misfortune, just because it is the only futile revenge she can obtain before she dies.
There are many things that other people hold Lard Stark responsible for in the books. A lot of people hate her for her treatment of Jon or for arresting Tyrion or for letting Jaime to free. All of these events have at least a level of justification to them. You may not like her actions, but you can understand them. But when she killed Jinglebell, a man who was shaking and terrified in her arms, a man who had never known a day's love or respect in his life . . . this is the action that I believe caused her to transform into the monster she later became. There was no justification for killing him. It helped her in no way and caused harm to someone who had never harmed her at all.
Of course, Jinglebell's death if very on the mark for many of the the things that Martin illustrates in his novels. Even if the powerful people think they are aiming at each other and seeking to harm each other, it is usually innocent people with no power at all who get hurt in the process. And while Robb's death and the deaths of his soldiers was a horrible thing to read about, the slaughter of Jinglebell will always be the part that haunts me the most.
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