The Real Shame

As I am sure you know, there are websites out there that exist basically to destroy women's lives. They're called Revenge Porn sites and basically they are places where pictures and videos of women are posted, without their permission, of them naked or performing acts of a sexual nature. People post these videos to shame the women in them and it works. Some of these women have lost jobs over their images being out there in cyberspace. Some have lost standing in public. Others have committed suicide.

When people talk about this issue, they almost always begin with the same comment. "These girls should know better. They shouldn't send naked pictures of themselves to people! They shouldn't make those videos!" There is always a lot of discussion of making wise decisions and considering one's future. People talk about personal responsibility and self respect. But always . . .always always . . . the discussion focuses on the women in  the videos and what they should have done differently.

I will admit, in the past I have found myself doing the same thing. I would wonder why any woman would trust ANY man enough to send him pictures of herself.  Of course, we all know I don't trust men at all. It should be noted that in some cases, the women don't CHOOSE to do anything here. Sometimes the videos are done without them being aware of it. Sometimes the pictures are taken without their awareness as well. Even in these cases, very little can be done to stop it.

But this is what CAN be done. We can recognize that there is no shame in the human body. There is no shame in showing your breasts. There is no shame in having sex with someone. There is no shame in being a human who does human activities. It is, after all, what we are. Just because many people happen to have proof that you do the stuff that everyone else does as well does not and SHOULD NOT make you be seen as a bad person.  Even your mistake in trusting someone to respect your privacy isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a mistake that many people make (other than people like me, who would never trust a man ever, but that can be its own mistake at times as well).

The real shame here, honestly, should fall on the people who post these videos and post these pictures. These people are the ones who were trusted to show respect and honor . . . and willingly failed to do so. These people should be the ones who feel shame. These people are the ones who have done something that is wrong and it should be them who lose jobs and respect and friends. They should be the ones who are snicked at and mocked.

Will this happen? Most likely, it will not. It's a lot easier to punish women for being naked and having poor judgement than it is to punish the people who are untrustworthy and malicious. It's one of the things that sucks about our culture and one of the things that I wish would change.

However, if at one point in your life, you find out that your body and what you have done with it happen to be on public display, don't let it harm you. Hold your head high and calmly tell the world to go fuck itself. It's really no one else's business.