As happens every year, Daylight Savings Time is upon us. As also happens every year, I hate it. I hate losing my hour so much. Yes, I realize I've blogged about this for years now. Yes, I realize nothing will be done about it. It doesn't matter. I still hate it. It's still taking away my hour and messing with my life. Bastard hour-stealing menace.
Other than that, the day was okay. I didn't have to do anything and it's warmer than it has been in a while. This means that spring is on its way, and you know how much I hate that.
So I've been thinking about this depression I'm having. I believe that the dread and anxiety aspects of it may be due to all of the trauma I experienced last year. We're going to be heading into anniversaries of very scary times for me. It isn't going to be easy.
Last year changed me. In some ways, for the better. In other ways, for the worse. I'm more brave than I was, but I'm also lacking in memory. My body goes through weird phases. I have strange pain here and there and at different times. My sinuses even behave in a way they never really did before. I know I'm still ME, but it's a different me. I guess in the midst of trying to come to terms with that, there is this fear that I'll have to do it all over again. I don't want to do that.
I want that about as much as I want Daylight Savings Time.
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