Debbie Reynolds died the day after her daughter did. She and Carrie had always had a complicated relationship. Publically complicated. Carrie wrote a book about it. They fought. They caused scenes. Carrie's dad had left them for Elizabeth Taylor. There were a lot of layers.
It was said that when Debbie died, her last words were that she wanted to be with her daughter. That really got to me. The connection between a mother and her oldest child is so intense. It isn't that other kids aren't loved, but that first one defines you as a mother. To lose that kid before you die.....I know that crushed her.
That kind of connection still defines me every day. I was my mother's first child. Even if I wasn't a child she loved or a child she wanted, I was still the one who brought motherhood to her life. Since I heard about Debbie's death, I've thought about that a lot and about the other first children I know. I thought about Sinead and how complicated her relationship is with her oldest son, which is sad considering the number of sons she has about how much she loves him.
I think I may be in grieving mode for a while.
No comments:
Post a Comment