There is this part on Supernatural when Cas goes to visit Crowley and they are standing at the end of a long, long line. Cas asks Crowley what the line is for, and the former Crossroads demon and current King of Hell replies something like, "Oh, the line doesn't lead to anywhere. You see, there is nothing more horrible to modern people than waiting in line forever. This is the best Hell ever." Cruel bastard. Cruel, astute bastard.
Okay, so today I had to go do something that required me being around a lot of other people who wanted the same thing that I did, standing in line, and hell. While there, I thought of some unspoken rules to situations like this that should be really obvious to people, but for some reason, aren't.
RULES FOR WAITING IN LINE FOR FIRST COME/FIRST SERVE STUFF
1. You are not a special little snowflake.
Look, I'm fat as hell and as mobile as.........well, okay, I think everything is more mobile than me. But when I go into situations like this, while I realize my physical condition sucks, more than likely, so does everyone else's. I'm not going to get special treatment for my problems. You're not going to get special treatment for yours either.
So whatever your situation is, the people in charge don't care. No matter how many times you walk up there to tell them your mom needs her flat fixed or your daughter is having surgery, they don't care. First come, first serve.
2. Take all weather conditions into consideration.
When people are going to be in a line and you know it, make sure you are as prepared as possible.
I could have done this one better. I showed up dressed all in black to wait in the hot sun. At least I sprayed my arms with sunscreen before getting out of the van.
Some people were really prepared. They had not only bottles of water (and in some cases, their own chairs), but also umbrellas. Okay, I could have gotten my umbrella out of the car too, but I didn't want to lose my place in line. That was hard enough as it was.
3. Positive energy is always welcome.
While you should never expect special treatment for your own situation, I did see many people who were kind to those around them. One group of women let an old lady with an oxygen tank go ahead of them. Many people were asking others if they were okay. People shared information about length of wait, made sure to announce when chairs would be empty.
4. If you know there is going to be a long line and a lot of people, bring as few people with you as possible.
Seriously, I know sometimes it can be hard to find a babysitter, but considering that the date for this event was announced well in advance, there was ample time to find someone to watch your kids. Kids are twitchy. They cause problems and make other people nervous.
At one point, when my not-a-special-little-snowflake fat ass was sitting on the floor, some kid almost hit me in the face with its toy it was swinging back and forth. At another point, some kids spilled their water all over the floor. Yes, on the slick floors where hundreds of people would be walking.
Kids aren't the only people who don't need to show up. Don't bring your boyfriend. Don't bring your mom. Don't bring your best friend so you two can gab during the wait. Unless, lovers, parents, and best friends need to fill out things on their own while there, keep them at home. Let them watch the kids!
5. Finally, remember this is only a temporary situation.
Unlike Crowley's Hell, you won't be in line forever. Don't let it get to you. Don't get emotional about it. This can be difficult, yes. I have anxiety issues and had moments of panic while there . . . but I kept reminding myself that eventually it would all be over and I could go back to my usual life.
No one wants to be there and more than likely, no one is there specifically to make your life hellish. Are they inconsiderate? Yes. Are they thoughtless and annoying? Yes. But more than likely, they're not doing it on purpose.
And maybe they'll read this list and not do so much of it next time!
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