Around a Table with People you Hate and Everyone has Stabby Things

I'm deeply glad I have nothing to do tomorrow. The weather fluctuations, humidity, and the fact that my body seems to delight in causing me hell all served to make today kind of sucktastic and exhausting. Despite that, I did manage to say some clever things.

I've been thinking about the stupid social platitudes they try and force on us, via campaigns and studies and other drivel. It's so funny how they never think these things through.

Case in point: Families having meals together.

In theory, sharing a meal with your family might be a great bonding experience. It is, after all, probably the basic way that humans socialized.  You know, all gathered around a fire and eating something.  To the blissfully lacking in insight social engineers, getting families to eat together just squees of goodness. And I guess as long as you use cardboard humans as your family, that's true.

However . . .

When I get really, really upset, I can't eat.  Part of the problem, I think, is that when I'm upset, I'm also angry, fatalistic, and frustrated. This makes the thought of food just nasty. A certain manipulative family member must have figured this out, because there were many "family dinners yay family dinners good and socially healthy yay" where said person would purposefully upset me so I'd stop eating. You know, in the hopes my eating less would cause me to be not-fat.

Somehow, this very clever family member never quite clued in how the spiral of upset would lead to deeper anger and then I would eat . . . usually alone and with far more enthusiasm and less concern for the consequences.  Needless to say, "family dinners together" have never been one of my favorite ideas.

See, the problem is, when everyone is forced to sit there at the table together, they're rather open to anything and everything the others might try.  Add in the need to feed yourself (as often many of these people probably are quite hungry at this point) and not only as you compelled to be there, but your basic needs are in play as well.

So what is it like, to be the kid who is sitting at the dinner table with the parent who rapes them?

What is it like to be the adult who is being belittled by the other parent in front of their children?

What is it like to be the forced near the loud, lying, insulting troll of a sibling who you usually avoid at all costs?

What is it like to try and eat in front of people who are angry at you? Or hate you? Or resent your existence? Or mock you? Or drain the very fucking life out of you?

And not only do you have to do this once, you have to do it over and over again, night after night after night of being around these people, trying to swallow your food as you swallow down hurt and fear and terror and anger.

In theory, this "family eats meals together" thing sounds wonderful. Maybe even for some people, it is great. I don't think it's something that should be pushed though.  There are just way too many assholes in the world for this to work.