The Perfect Neighbors

The house across the street is empty again. We've ran through quite a few sets of neighbors over the years. I have to say I'm happy to see this last set go. They were loud. They really didn't have a concept of not yelling. Every time they got out of their many vehicles, they had to yell to each other as they walked to the house. It's possible that one of them had a hearing problem, but I somewhat doubt that. Still, they weren't the worst ones we'd had. I know that the new set could be much worse.

I have some level of concern over this because, after all, I will have to deal with these people on occasion . . . hopefully rare occasions. It's important that they not suck. I actually thought about writing this post over all the ways neighbors could suck, but it honestly would have taken me weeks. There are just so, so many ways that neighbors can cause problems. Instead, I decided to write about what good neighbors are like.

The most important quality of the perfect neighbors is that they are quiet. They don't have screamy fights. They don't blast music. They don't have screeching children. They don't run machines for hours on end for what seems like no good reason. They don't stand outside on their porch and talk as loudly as they can on their phone. They don't have dogs that bark all night long. They do not buy fireworks three weeks before the Fourth of July and set them off every single night until a week after.

Good neighbors obey the law. They don't set up meth labs. They don't build bombs. They don't harm animals. They don't have shoot outs with each other at 2 AM. They don't peek in anyone else's windows or bother anyone sexually. If they have children, they have also taught their children to obey the law. No stealing, no trespassing, no vandalism.

Good neighbors are clean. They don't pile trash in their yard. They don't stink up the place. They don't let the grass get so high that the city has to come in and mow it down. Good neighbors keep their place respectable. I'm not saying they have to win the Best Lawn contest. I just don't want fleas, snakes, and roaches gathering in their dump of a yard and trying to invade mine.

In fact, I think it's best that I don't even notice they are there. A good neighbor keeps to themselves. They are private and keep their world from bothering the world around them. I don't want to have to know things about my neighbors. I don't want to know if they are religious after having found out because they keep showing up to my house to witness. I don't want to know if they have children after having to find out because their brats make so much noise. I don't want to know if they are having problems in  their marriage. I don't want to know like to walk around outside naked.

See, the best neighbors in the world are people who never bother you. They may be weird. They may be strange. Hell, they may be completely boring and normal. If they keep to themselves though, if they never cause any problems, I really don't have to know about them or think about them. Their world can exist on the other side of the street.

My world can continue on my side.