Better Days

My roommate placed my birthday balloons on the ceiling above my bed.  He did this so that I could actually enjoy them for as long as they held their Helium and because it was one of the few places the cats couldn't get at them. I've found this to be such a wonderful thing. Balloons are simple, but delightful. I'm really enjoying having them floating above me. It's like waking up to well wishes.  The flowers are in a tall vase and look lovely on the mantle. I am watching them as I type this and smiling at them.

I had therapy today and it went well. We'll be starting a workbook to combat depression. I wanted something more goal oriented, but it's difficult to find those that aren't spiritual in nature. I don't like the spiritual ones. I always feel like I'm being manipulated and it causes a disconnect. I begin to distrust the author's intentions and find myself unable to continue the work. Is it so hard to write a book about life goals without tying it to some kind of religious agenda? It really shouldn't be.

The bleeding was better today. Some spotting but nothing like it had been the last two days....which, even that was admittedly easy to handle compared to what it was this time last month. I'm just scared. Yes, I know I've mentioned that a lot. I'm still scared. I don't think I'll stop until this phase of my life is over with, one way or the other.

I read an obit for one of my mom's friends. I hadn't thought about this woman in a long time, because over the years she and my mother had grown distant, but it was sad to know she'd passed. She was a strange bird, but always someone I liked. She had a cool life, as she lived right on the lake and basically just did whatever she wanted to. To most people's eyes, she wouldn't have seemed wealthy, but that was never something she wanted anyway. I'll miss her.