Morning
Like most Sundays, I had bleeding issues last night. That is getting really old, trust me. And as I said before, it always scares me because I assume the bad bleeding will start all over again. As long as I keep having bouts like that, I will never feel safe in my own skin. I know how bad things can be.
Like most Sundays, I had bleeding issues last night. That is getting really old, trust me. And as I said before, it always scares me because I assume the bad bleeding will start all over again. As long as I keep having bouts like that, I will never feel safe in my own skin. I know how bad things can be.
It sucks. I am an introvert anyway. I'm almost housebound anyway. Did we really have to push it to this extreme? My impulse right now is to stay inside the house as much as possible. Being a shut-in is less stressful. I hate feeling this way.
It won't be possible today. I have the belated birthday thing to attend. I hope my body cooperates with me on this. Just stay calm and non-bleeds while I shower and go eat cake with my friends. That doesn't seem like too much to ask.
Evening
The party went well. I met friends at the coffee place and we had very good conversation, cake, and lots and lots of glitter. I had a lot of fun. I feel grateful and humbled by the party and their generosity. I felt very embraced by my friends. I needed that.
The problem is, I'm bleeding again. This is the second night in a row it's come back. Since I had the Depo shot, that hasn't happened. It's still not as heavy as it was, but the fact that it returned is disturbing. I'm trying to rationalize it. I was out a lot today. I sat in uncomfortable chairs. Even still, just the fact that I was out of my house and sat in chairs shouldn't cause me to bleed. This is depressing and I'm a little scared right now. This post is going to be cut short for those reasons.
Evening
The party went well. I met friends at the coffee place and we had very good conversation, cake, and lots and lots of glitter. I had a lot of fun. I feel grateful and humbled by the party and their generosity. I felt very embraced by my friends. I needed that.
The problem is, I'm bleeding again. This is the second night in a row it's come back. Since I had the Depo shot, that hasn't happened. It's still not as heavy as it was, but the fact that it returned is disturbing. I'm trying to rationalize it. I was out a lot today. I sat in uncomfortable chairs. Even still, just the fact that I was out of my house and sat in chairs shouldn't cause me to bleed. This is depressing and I'm a little scared right now. This post is going to be cut short for those reasons.
No comments:
Post a Comment