1000

In the midst of all the weirdness I've been going through the last month, I have been keeping an eye on something. This is my 1000th blog post. I have been working on this thing long enough to actually do 1000 posts. This is probably the longest I have ever committed to anything besides eating. Holy. Hell. One thousand posts.

I love blogging. It keeps me sane. It keeps me focused. It helps me to actually keep an accounting of what is happening in my life. Sometimes this even proves to be practical when I can't quite remember the date something happened. I'm getting older so that happens more often than you would think. This blog holds my hopes, my dreams, my projects, my pain, my anger, my snark, and my day to day struggle just to stay alive.

Over the years, what I do with this blog has changed. I started out trying to have a theme with it but that didn't happen. Sometimes I talk about my various interests. Sometimes I blog about crafts. Lately I've been talking about the hell my body is going through and what these changes could mean. I don't always blog every day, but I try to. I don't always have valid or important content, but I at least try to speak about what is happening to me in the moment. I use this to let my voice be heard.

For most of the life of this blog, it's been written late at night as I sit by my computer. There is usually a cat at my feet and an oxygen tube in my nose. My roommate has usually gone to bed and I am most often about to head that way myself. Since I got my iPod, this has somewhat changed. I sometimes blog on it, either via Dragon Dictation or just Notes. This has added an element of "in the moment" to my blog, as I will write about what is happening during the day as it is happening, or at least well within an hour or so of it. I don't always do this, but I like to do it. I enjoy the energy of it.

When I was in the middle of the horrible bleeding and fairly certain I would probably die, I would sometimes lay there and think about what I'd not done with my life . . . which is a lot of things. I'm 40 and by most people's standards, I don't have a lot to my name. For a creative person, I've not created a lot. I have some unpublished works of fiction, some yarncraft, and painted zombie head. But whenever I would start to feel horrible about it, I would remind myself that I have the blog. This blog contains several years' worth of my thoughts and ramblings, all there for anyone who wishes to read them. I have this accomplishment, if nothing else.

Whenever I noticed I'd hit into the later 900s, I started thinking about where I wanted to take the blog after I reached the 1000 mark. The thing is, since the Uterine Rebellion, I don't think I should try to plan anything of that nature. I think for right now, the blog should just continue to be what it is, an organic summary of whatever I happen to be thinking about by the time I start writing it. This is what I need it to be at the moment and it may be what I need it to be until I can no longer form thoughts into sentences.

Yes, I plan to be blogging until then.