Some Summer Perspective

So here is some perspective. I was reading over my blog from last year and realized that six weeks post-hysterectomy, I was utterly and quite seriously depressed. I mean, I've been down lately, but it is nothing compared to how bad things were last year. I was a wreck. Hormones and trauma and coming off of meds didn't make for a happy me. For days and days, I blogged about how depressed I was.

Recently, my summer depression has been back. It always shows up this time of year because heat, lack of sleep, and constantly being sweaty is a pretty awful time for me. I write about it some, but it isn't the constant dark cloud that it was last year. I really just went through the motions then. I honestly felt no hope or no real sense of purpose. All I could do was just force myself forward.

I still have bad days. I still have some horrible days. However, when the weather lets up just a little and I can sleep again, things ease for me. It doesn't make my emotional state 100% better, but it makes it SOME better. That helps a lot. Last year, I rarely got those better days. I would take my meds and wonder if they were helping, then kind of mentally shudder at the idea of how bad things would be if I didn't have them.

I know some people believe that being on drugs for depression won't help them. I would like for them to consider something. When we're depressed, we often focus on the external aspects of why we're sad. The people around us. The lack of people around us. Our homes. Our jobs. The state of the nation. And yes, all of these things can contribute to why we're unhappy.

However, we cannot change those things. We can't change other people. We really can't change the government. And for the other things, like jobs and lack of friends, and where we live, those things will not change easily. Sometimes, we can't change them at all.

The only aspect of all this that we CAN change is ourselves. Being on medication for your depression won't change the world around you, but it can alter how you feel about it. And honestly, if you wake up day after day and just feel awful about everything, why not try and alter the one thing you really can change?