Sunday, September 6, 2015

Unfocused Magical Thinking

My ability to focus has been basically gone lately. I'm having to really concentrate to get anything to stick and then only for a little while. Anything that tries to force my attention for more than a few minutes is getting on my nerves. I just can't handle it right now. I don't have the spoons to focus and I certainly don't have the spoons to be creative. I mostly just need some quiet time.

I suspect a lot of this has to do with the heat. My sleeping has gotten bad again. My room isn't exactly HOT, but it isn't comfortable. In weather like this, all fabric feels painful against my skin. It makes it hard to find any kind of easy way to sleep. When I wake up, I feel like I accomplished nothing in the way of relaxing or resting my body. My mind is even worse. I spend the rest of the day just unfocused and irritated.

This is totally irrational and I know it. I do it every year and I shouldn't. I always think that if I can just make it through August, summer will be over and things will cool down and life will be good again. That is stupid magical thinking though. Summer doesn't end just because August does. I need to stop doing that and setting myself up for disappointment.

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