My roommate has noticed we have some hybrid between traditional red cardinals and desert cardinals hanging out in the yard. This is pretty neat. I've always liked our cardinals. During the winter, when everything gets really gray, the pretty red birds stand out as a nice contrast to the naked trees. I always enjoy our birds. Well most of them.
The mockingbirds are another matter. The little one who lives on the porch either has or is trying to gain a mate. Both of them seem to be constantly pissed off. We're trying with them. Whenever we hear them, we've been trying to teach them new noises. Anything is better than the constant "SQUWACK" and "SHEEKCHT" they utter. So far, we're not successful, but maybe in time we'll get something more pleasant.
It rained a lot today. That should make the birds happy. It certainly cooled things down. June is leaving us now and overall, it wasn't a bad month. We only had to turn on the AC once and July is starting out on the cool side. Hopefully, it will stay that way.
Friday, June 30, 2017
Thursday, June 29, 2017
Summer Makeup
I used to have only one step for summer makeup . . . do not wear any. This is because I always had heavy makeup and I sweat. Things would get awful quickly and it certainly wasn't a cute look. Recently, however, I've found a routine that actually works for me.
First Step: Be as cool as possible before you even put anything on your face. Be in a cool area where you won't start sweating in the middle of things. Be hydrated and have hydrated skin. In my case, cutting off my hair as also helped a lot.
Two: Minimal foundation. For me, this was always the biggest problem. My foundation would just float on my skin and streak when I would get too hot. Now I'm using a powder color corrector as lightly as possible before putting a tinted primer with a slight shimmer in the middle of my face and a clear primer over the outer areas. Basically, anything you would contour darker is getting that clear primer.
Once that sets, I just add a thin layer of BB cream to those outer areas and blend the two aspects where they need blending. It isn't the sharpest of contours in the world, but it gives enough of a definition while keeping my skin feeling as naked as possible. If you feel the need to set that with powder, go ahead. To be honest, I probably won't because when I'm hot and sweaty, powder is the enemy of my face. I mostly just keep things under control with a tissue.
Three: Select something to showcase. I'm in glasses most of the time, so if I'm going to showcase just one feature, it usually won't be my eyes. My eyebrows, on the other hand, serve as a great showcase. I'll fancy them up with a bit of cream eyebrow shadow and set it with a dark brown. My lips usually get painted something pinkish, though sometimes I will go in with a more intense lip, especially for an evening look.
Four: Accept that you will have to do touchups. Even in the best of circumstances, makeup can begin to go wonky. Carry a bit of product around with you so you can touch things up when you need to. If you're going from hot cars cooler houses, it might be best to do checks as you change temperatures. Though, as minimal as this is, things won't go as wonky as they certainly could.
Now I will admit, on most days, I'm still going to opt for no makeup at all. However, it's nice to have some options that I know will work if I want to shake things up.
First Step: Be as cool as possible before you even put anything on your face. Be in a cool area where you won't start sweating in the middle of things. Be hydrated and have hydrated skin. In my case, cutting off my hair as also helped a lot.
Two: Minimal foundation. For me, this was always the biggest problem. My foundation would just float on my skin and streak when I would get too hot. Now I'm using a powder color corrector as lightly as possible before putting a tinted primer with a slight shimmer in the middle of my face and a clear primer over the outer areas. Basically, anything you would contour darker is getting that clear primer.
Once that sets, I just add a thin layer of BB cream to those outer areas and blend the two aspects where they need blending. It isn't the sharpest of contours in the world, but it gives enough of a definition while keeping my skin feeling as naked as possible. If you feel the need to set that with powder, go ahead. To be honest, I probably won't because when I'm hot and sweaty, powder is the enemy of my face. I mostly just keep things under control with a tissue.
Three: Select something to showcase. I'm in glasses most of the time, so if I'm going to showcase just one feature, it usually won't be my eyes. My eyebrows, on the other hand, serve as a great showcase. I'll fancy them up with a bit of cream eyebrow shadow and set it with a dark brown. My lips usually get painted something pinkish, though sometimes I will go in with a more intense lip, especially for an evening look.
Four: Accept that you will have to do touchups. Even in the best of circumstances, makeup can begin to go wonky. Carry a bit of product around with you so you can touch things up when you need to. If you're going from hot cars cooler houses, it might be best to do checks as you change temperatures. Though, as minimal as this is, things won't go as wonky as they certainly could.
Now I will admit, on most days, I'm still going to opt for no makeup at all. However, it's nice to have some options that I know will work if I want to shake things up.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Tinkerballs
With the loss of Rhiannon and Rowan, Tinkerbell is the only cat in the house. She was a rescue from outside (my roommate basically just abducted her from the yard amidst her protests) and she's never really adjusted all that well to living with us. She likes him, kind of. She doesn't like me much at all. If you read the blog frequently, you know I've touched on that point before.
What Tink does like, however, is toys. The cats have always had various little toy balls that mostly went ignored. When Tink moved in, she gathered up these balls and took them underneath my roommate's bed. He tells me they've usually been in sorted lines. It's her adorable little stash of toys. She never really played with them much, but she did like her collection of them.
Recently, she's been playing with them more. On any given day, she has one of the balls out. She'll roll them around and bat at them. She'll even talk to them. Most of the time she stays in his room, but once in a while, the ball would come out into the living room.
This morning when I woke up, I noticed one of the balls had made it all the way into my room. I told my roommate about it. Later he discovered that his shoes held several of the other balls. We have no idea why she's choosing to share them with us, or even if that is her intention.
I find it really sweet and, really, quite refreshing. Since we have shared a home, it's always had the noises, activities, and idiosyncrasies of cats. Things have gotten so quiet on that front and it's made our lives quiet. My roommate wrote a few days ago about how his life feels so different now and I really get that. The cats were part of our environment. In a way, seeing that little ball in my room brought me more happiness than anything has in quite a few months.
What Tink does like, however, is toys. The cats have always had various little toy balls that mostly went ignored. When Tink moved in, she gathered up these balls and took them underneath my roommate's bed. He tells me they've usually been in sorted lines. It's her adorable little stash of toys. She never really played with them much, but she did like her collection of them.
Recently, she's been playing with them more. On any given day, she has one of the balls out. She'll roll them around and bat at them. She'll even talk to them. Most of the time she stays in his room, but once in a while, the ball would come out into the living room.
This morning when I woke up, I noticed one of the balls had made it all the way into my room. I told my roommate about it. Later he discovered that his shoes held several of the other balls. We have no idea why she's choosing to share them with us, or even if that is her intention.
I find it really sweet and, really, quite refreshing. Since we have shared a home, it's always had the noises, activities, and idiosyncrasies of cats. Things have gotten so quiet on that front and it's made our lives quiet. My roommate wrote a few days ago about how his life feels so different now and I really get that. The cats were part of our environment. In a way, seeing that little ball in my room brought me more happiness than anything has in quite a few months.
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Plumper Review: Hard Candy
The second most highly reviewed of the low-end lip plumpers belonged to Hard Candy. My roommate bought me two lip products from this company. One is a lip treatment and the other is a plumping gloss.
The Hard Candy Blooming Lip Oil is basically a product for chapped lips. It's six dollars at Walmart. This product claims to drench your lips well for at least ten hours and keep them supple and free from drying out. It also goes on clear but then alters in color depending on the ph of your body chemistry. For me, that is always an interesting thing. I was half-expecting it to turn purple. It didn't. I got a kind of bright pink that I kind of like and kind of don't. It does, however, last quite a long while and does keep the lips nice and happy.
The next product was the Hard Candy Plumping Serum Volumizing Lip Gloss. It's also a six dollar purchase. Now, unlike the e.l.f. product that I reviewed yesterday, this plumper goes on without too much tingling. Some people have told me they don't like this about plumpers because if it doesn't hurt, it's probably not working. The gloss is more subtle than the other plumper products, but I think it works well enough for an evening. It stays on well and the color that I have is sweet. I later got the clear version and it works well too.
So there you have it, some lip plumpers for not a lot of expense. Now, will they last as long as the higher end products? I'll keep tabs on that and report back when I run out.
The Hard Candy Blooming Lip Oil is basically a product for chapped lips. It's six dollars at Walmart. This product claims to drench your lips well for at least ten hours and keep them supple and free from drying out. It also goes on clear but then alters in color depending on the ph of your body chemistry. For me, that is always an interesting thing. I was half-expecting it to turn purple. It didn't. I got a kind of bright pink that I kind of like and kind of don't. It does, however, last quite a long while and does keep the lips nice and happy.
The next product was the Hard Candy Plumping Serum Volumizing Lip Gloss. It's also a six dollar purchase. Now, unlike the e.l.f. product that I reviewed yesterday, this plumper goes on without too much tingling. Some people have told me they don't like this about plumpers because if it doesn't hurt, it's probably not working. The gloss is more subtle than the other plumper products, but I think it works well enough for an evening. It stays on well and the color that I have is sweet. I later got the clear version and it works well too.
So there you have it, some lip plumpers for not a lot of expense. Now, will they last as long as the higher end products? I'll keep tabs on that and report back when I run out.
Monday, June 26, 2017
Plumper Review: e.l.f.
As you know by now, the makeup I get from Sephora is usually out of my price range on a day to day basis. Sure, I can handle the subscription price, but the actual products are out of my range, and out of the range of a lot of people on a budget. With that in mind, I decided to review some of the more affordable products out there. Today we're going to look at lip plumpers.
I researched the best plumpers under 5 bucks and ended up purchasing the two with the best reviews. The first is e.l.f.'s Lip Primer & Plumper that retails for around 3 dollars. This product is actually a better bargain because it not only has the plumper I wanted but also a lip primer. This company tends to get a lot of great comments from people, even those who use more expensive things. In terms of low-end cosmetics, e.l.f is one of the best companies out there.
The product is easy to open and both sides are clearly labeled. This may not seem like a big deal, but as someone who constantly guesses wrong on which side of her contouring stick she's opening, having things clearly marked is a plus. Little things like that make all the difference in terms of mood. The primer is great. It gives a nice even base for anything else you might want to do with your lips.
I wasn't too happy with the plumper at first because it stings like a bastard, but when I read the instructions on how to use it, I realized that I'd made a mistake with it. It says to apply the primer first and let that dry before adding the plumper. It also cautions to apply lipstick or some other base coat before putting the plumper on. I didn't do this. I put it straight on my lips with no barrier between. When I tried it again, I did it the proper way. It's still intense for a bit, but not as much as it was all naked.
The results were good. It worked well and lasted for quite a while. I also like that it smells like cinnamon. Overall, this is a pretty impressive product.
I researched the best plumpers under 5 bucks and ended up purchasing the two with the best reviews. The first is e.l.f.'s Lip Primer & Plumper that retails for around 3 dollars. This product is actually a better bargain because it not only has the plumper I wanted but also a lip primer. This company tends to get a lot of great comments from people, even those who use more expensive things. In terms of low-end cosmetics, e.l.f is one of the best companies out there.
The product is easy to open and both sides are clearly labeled. This may not seem like a big deal, but as someone who constantly guesses wrong on which side of her contouring stick she's opening, having things clearly marked is a plus. Little things like that make all the difference in terms of mood. The primer is great. It gives a nice even base for anything else you might want to do with your lips.
I wasn't too happy with the plumper at first because it stings like a bastard, but when I read the instructions on how to use it, I realized that I'd made a mistake with it. It says to apply the primer first and let that dry before adding the plumper. It also cautions to apply lipstick or some other base coat before putting the plumper on. I didn't do this. I put it straight on my lips with no barrier between. When I tried it again, I did it the proper way. It's still intense for a bit, but not as much as it was all naked.
The results were good. It worked well and lasted for quite a while. I also like that it smells like cinnamon. Overall, this is a pretty impressive product.
Craft behind the Craft Add-on
I mentioned Bianca Del Rio last night in the post about people who do crafts that connect to drag. Today someone posted this video about what life is life for her. It's complicated but clearly rewarding. That's another element that is wonderful about a thriving, productive, creative community. People find not only monetary benefit, but connection and fulfillment.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Craft behind the Craft
As you may (or may not) know, I've been obsessively watching stuff about drag queens since Rowan passed. Drag and makeup tutorials have helped me get through this. I'm coming to some philosophical conclusions about it which I will elaborate on more as I find the words for them. Today I want to talk about the crafts behind the craft of drag.
Drag has a lot of elements to it. There is the performer, of course, but there is also all that goes into creating the illusion of that performer. Makeup, wigs, clothing, padding, accessories, shoes, jewelry. Some drag queens are amazingly talented and create the majority of this for themselves. Others excel at some aspects but rely on other crafters for the rest of it. In fact, some queens, like Bianca Del Rio, supplemented their incomes by making things for others until they found success on their own.
As people were walking the red carpet to the crowning ceremony, they were being asked who they were wearing. Now, with actresses, this question can get shitty, because it's sometimes the only thing people ask them at all. But with drag queens, the question is important because often the person who designed their costume isn't a famous designer. It's someone who works within the drag community to help make this art possible. In one case, the queen was wearing a dress she made herself, so she was using this platform to advertise for clients.
This is how jobs are really created. As drag queens gain success and need more supplies, more artists will find success as they meet these demands. Job creation stems from artists, from the people who are building the new things and inspiring others. It comes from the need for entertainment that we all have. It isn't about rich people who have tons of money and won't make jobs now getting more money so they might be inclined to make jobs. That honestly doesn't even make any sense.
Drag has a lot of elements to it. There is the performer, of course, but there is also all that goes into creating the illusion of that performer. Makeup, wigs, clothing, padding, accessories, shoes, jewelry. Some drag queens are amazingly talented and create the majority of this for themselves. Others excel at some aspects but rely on other crafters for the rest of it. In fact, some queens, like Bianca Del Rio, supplemented their incomes by making things for others until they found success on their own.
As people were walking the red carpet to the crowning ceremony, they were being asked who they were wearing. Now, with actresses, this question can get shitty, because it's sometimes the only thing people ask them at all. But with drag queens, the question is important because often the person who designed their costume isn't a famous designer. It's someone who works within the drag community to help make this art possible. In one case, the queen was wearing a dress she made herself, so she was using this platform to advertise for clients.
This is how jobs are really created. As drag queens gain success and need more supplies, more artists will find success as they meet these demands. Job creation stems from artists, from the people who are building the new things and inspiring others. It comes from the need for entertainment that we all have. It isn't about rich people who have tons of money and won't make jobs now getting more money so they might be inclined to make jobs. That honestly doesn't even make any sense.
Saturday, June 24, 2017
Good Weather
Ahhh! It was actually cool today! Cool and comfortable. It made me tired and sleepy and I napped so well. I needed it. I've been hot, annoyed, and exhausted for days now. Bliss! Napping felt wonderful but my attention span today has been tiny. It's taking me forever just to finish this post. My brain just wants to zone out and enjoy the weather not being awful. Needless to say, this post will be short. Byeeeee.
Friday, June 23, 2017
No More Tears: An Eye Tutorial
Now you'll notice on my first picture, which is the finished result, I have on a false lash. Now some people with sensitive eyes can't do false lashes, but for me, they're kind of a godsend. They solve the issue of me having such stunted natural lashes in the first place, add a nice level of glamour, and make up for the fact that I can't wear mascara and most of the time can't handle eyeliner.
Other tips for sensitive eyes and makeup:
- Put eye drops in about 30 minutes before you apply your makeup. It usually takes them about that long to really be effective.
- Try to use things with as little scent as possible. Sometimes this isn't an option, but it certainly helps.
- If you can, try and experiment with different brands of makeup. There may be some that you can actually use without too many problems. You may need to use ones with certain ingredients or the lack of certain chemicals.
- Some people say that creams work better for them than powders when it comes to having sensitive eyes. That hasn't been the case for me, but it's worth testing to see if it might work for you.
Seriously though, when it comes to eye makeup, the struggle is real for anyone with watery eyes. It can get really frustrating and sometimes it seems like the best option is to just assume it isn't meant to be for you. But if you love painting like I do, it's worth the time to experiment around and see if something works. I hope you try my method and if it does work for you, please drop me a message. If you have other tips, I'd love to hear those as well.
Thursday, June 22, 2017
June Box: Hair Care Items
Okay, this is an interesting side note to me getting these to hair care items. On Tuesday, I got my hair cut into a short little Beth Ditto-ish punk pixie. I love it a lot, but even if I didn't, I wouldn't care because my hair was making me so hot before. Not hot in a sexy way, hot in a sweaty, I want to die because it's summer kind of way. The shortness and health of my hair is making it look amazing on all accounts so the two products I have for hair care didn't really impress me overly much.
The problem is, I'm not sure they would have impressed me before either. My hair is either completely great due to having a good cut or a pain in the ass that does nothing right because it's too long. During the summer, there is no good hair day if my hair is long. It's just impossible.
The first product isn't just a hair product. Ouai Rose Hair & Body Oil retails for 32$ and is mainly made from sunflower and shea oil. It also contains rose and apricot, and while one might think the rose scent would make it too old lady-ish, it's really mild. From what I understand, as a hair product, this is mainly used as a defrizzer. Right now, frizz isn't a problem for me. I used it to touch up some of the dry patches on my skin and it worked pretty well. This is probably what I'll use it for.
As you know, Sephora sends out sample sizes of the products so I don't know if this would be an issue with the actual full-sized version, but I'm having difficulties with the same size of this product. It's constantly oily and slick. It leaks and I'm sure it will soon attract dust and other nastiness to make it into just this godawful mess. A product that does that kind of thing is eventually going to get on my last nerve unless it is supremely great.
The last item was IGK Rich Kid Coconut Oil Gel. This product costs 27$ and was created by a group of in-demand stylists from across the US. It's difficult for me not to like something that smells like coconut. This smells nice and it goes on okay. In the video over the product, they talked about how this was best for fine hair because it isn't heavy. In the reviews, however, a lot of people with curly and thicker hair were saying they liked it.
The basic problem for me is that I'm not really all that into the sort of look this aims to create. Well, okay, technically I am, but I can achieve the same thing by just not washing my hair. This product is mostly used to achieve what they call a 'lived in' look, which is, from what I've been able to tell, the look people have when they get off a plane after having drunken sleep for the last eight hours. It's a little more separated and mismanaged than what I would want to pay a product to do. My hair will look that way all on its own.
At the end of the day, I was least interested in these two products. Neither was truly offensive, but they just weren't my cup of tea. I will admit, part of that is just my complicated and constantly annoyed situation with my hair. The other part is just not really finding them that impressive. However, I would encourage anyone to read the other reviews of them before making up their mind. Hair is very subjective and my flyaway, thin as hell hair should never make up anyone's mind about hair products at all.
The problem is, I'm not sure they would have impressed me before either. My hair is either completely great due to having a good cut or a pain in the ass that does nothing right because it's too long. During the summer, there is no good hair day if my hair is long. It's just impossible.
The first product isn't just a hair product. Ouai Rose Hair & Body Oil retails for 32$ and is mainly made from sunflower and shea oil. It also contains rose and apricot, and while one might think the rose scent would make it too old lady-ish, it's really mild. From what I understand, as a hair product, this is mainly used as a defrizzer. Right now, frizz isn't a problem for me. I used it to touch up some of the dry patches on my skin and it worked pretty well. This is probably what I'll use it for.
As you know, Sephora sends out sample sizes of the products so I don't know if this would be an issue with the actual full-sized version, but I'm having difficulties with the same size of this product. It's constantly oily and slick. It leaks and I'm sure it will soon attract dust and other nastiness to make it into just this godawful mess. A product that does that kind of thing is eventually going to get on my last nerve unless it is supremely great.
The last item was IGK Rich Kid Coconut Oil Gel. This product costs 27$ and was created by a group of in-demand stylists from across the US. It's difficult for me not to like something that smells like coconut. This smells nice and it goes on okay. In the video over the product, they talked about how this was best for fine hair because it isn't heavy. In the reviews, however, a lot of people with curly and thicker hair were saying they liked it.
The basic problem for me is that I'm not really all that into the sort of look this aims to create. Well, okay, technically I am, but I can achieve the same thing by just not washing my hair. This product is mostly used to achieve what they call a 'lived in' look, which is, from what I've been able to tell, the look people have when they get off a plane after having drunken sleep for the last eight hours. It's a little more separated and mismanaged than what I would want to pay a product to do. My hair will look that way all on its own.
At the end of the day, I was least interested in these two products. Neither was truly offensive, but they just weren't my cup of tea. I will admit, part of that is just my complicated and constantly annoyed situation with my hair. The other part is just not really finding them that impressive. However, I would encourage anyone to read the other reviews of them before making up their mind. Hair is very subjective and my flyaway, thin as hell hair should never make up anyone's mind about hair products at all.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
June Box: Skincare Items
One of the things I'm enjoying about the Sephora boxes is the variety of product. During both months, I've gotten skin care products. This shows a clear level of priority because skin care is fundamental when it comes to beauty. They're sending me haircare stuff too, but we'll talk about that tomorrow. Anyway, on to our primers.
The first one is First Aid Beauty Hello FAB Coconut Skin Smoothie Priming Moisturizer. It costs 28$ when bought at regular cost. Smoothie is a good term here, as this is mostly a mix of things you could actually eat. The product contains coconut water infused with electrolytes, amino acids, and phytonutrients. This is to bring nourishment and hydration to the skin. This is also quinoa, used to protect and strengthen the skin's surface. All of our food items combine with mircopearls that add a shimmer.
Somehow, the combination of all of this does the best thing ever. It makes the product smell like sweet tarts! It's an absolute delight to put on. Even better, despite the sweet smell, it doesn't seem to cause any eye irritation. Now while this product is used as a primer, many people use it as their daily foundation. It covers just enough to give the skin a great glow and hide most issues. It makes my nose look amazing.
I would absolutely pay for this product. It smells wonderful, it looks good, and it feels like nothing is on your skin. I'm enjoying it immensely and will certainly miss it when it's gone.
The next product is The Porefessional Face Primer by Benefit Cosmetics. Grammarly is hating the name of it and I hate the name of it too. It's cutesy, but . . . no. This product costs 31$. This primer claims to do a lot of stuff. This product is a balm that has the primary purpose of reducing the appearance of pores. It also claims to minimize the look of any fine lines on the face and help makeup to last longer by being applied over the makeup throughout the day.
When it came to handling pores, it did fine. That is the main function of the product and it succeeded. It reduces the pronounced line I have on my forehead. I could still see it, but it wasn't as obvious. I think I was most impressed by that. Moreover, it feels very lightweight and doesn't add to the overall thickness of the makeup.
Would I pay 31$ for it? Probably not. Now again, this is just me. A lot of people swear by Benefit Cosmetics and love the way their products combine. This is my first experience with them and I may feel differently when I've had more exposure.
When it comes to the theme of the month, I certainly see now these two products fit. Both of them are so lightweight that any summer makeup is going to be easier to handle when you use them. The first one, especially, works as a summer product because not only can it be used all on its own, the glow it gives you is just grand.
The first one is First Aid Beauty Hello FAB Coconut Skin Smoothie Priming Moisturizer. It costs 28$ when bought at regular cost. Smoothie is a good term here, as this is mostly a mix of things you could actually eat. The product contains coconut water infused with electrolytes, amino acids, and phytonutrients. This is to bring nourishment and hydration to the skin. This is also quinoa, used to protect and strengthen the skin's surface. All of our food items combine with mircopearls that add a shimmer.
Somehow, the combination of all of this does the best thing ever. It makes the product smell like sweet tarts! It's an absolute delight to put on. Even better, despite the sweet smell, it doesn't seem to cause any eye irritation. Now while this product is used as a primer, many people use it as their daily foundation. It covers just enough to give the skin a great glow and hide most issues. It makes my nose look amazing.
I would absolutely pay for this product. It smells wonderful, it looks good, and it feels like nothing is on your skin. I'm enjoying it immensely and will certainly miss it when it's gone.
The next product is The Porefessional Face Primer by Benefit Cosmetics. Grammarly is hating the name of it and I hate the name of it too. It's cutesy, but . . . no. This product costs 31$. This primer claims to do a lot of stuff. This product is a balm that has the primary purpose of reducing the appearance of pores. It also claims to minimize the look of any fine lines on the face and help makeup to last longer by being applied over the makeup throughout the day.
When it came to handling pores, it did fine. That is the main function of the product and it succeeded. It reduces the pronounced line I have on my forehead. I could still see it, but it wasn't as obvious. I think I was most impressed by that. Moreover, it feels very lightweight and doesn't add to the overall thickness of the makeup.
Would I pay 31$ for it? Probably not. Now again, this is just me. A lot of people swear by Benefit Cosmetics and love the way their products combine. This is my first experience with them and I may feel differently when I've had more exposure.
When it comes to the theme of the month, I certainly see now these two products fit. Both of them are so lightweight that any summer makeup is going to be easier to handle when you use them. The first one, especially, works as a summer product because not only can it be used all on its own, the glow it gives you is just grand.
Monday, June 19, 2017
June Box: First Items
For some reason, my hand did not want to write items. It kept writing time. That is very annoying. Anyway, my June box from Sephora Play! came in. This time, all the products were in a little cloth baggy with drawings of women in bikinis. It's pretty adorable. The theme is Summer Starters. The thing is, the two items I'm going to talk about today seemed rather out of place in this bag. Neither of them really felt summery to me. I could make a case for both of them being in this collection, somewhat, but the color of the lipstick and just the overall nature of the scent just don't give me summer.
The scent is Black Opium by Yves Saint Laurent. It retails for 91$. I didn't exactly like this scent. It has some nice elements to it and a somewhat candy-like fragrance, but it also contains notes of patchouli and I've never been a fan. Granted, they handle the patchouli well. It doesn't swallow up everything else, but it does add this kind of heaviness to the scent that doesn't please me and certainly doesn't feel summery. I know a lot of people would balk at this review because technically, this is an award winning perfume. It just isn't to my taste.
The next item was one of Kat Von D's Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in K-Dub. The product retails for 20$. It comes in 42 shades and some of them have glorious names! One shade is called Backstage Bambi and one shade is called Underage Red. I want to buy Underage Red just so I can tell people I have a lipstick called Underaged Red! Anyway, back to the review.
Everlasting is actually a pretty amazing product. It stays on quite well and it feels really light on the lips. Even though it feels like nothing, the shade has quite an impact because it's highly pigmented. This is cool, but it also causes some problems. My roommate said it didn't LOOK very light, and I'll agree with him there, but the feel of it is great.
Part of the issue is that I didn't exactly like the K-Dub shade. Like with the lipstick last month, this one, while very pigmented, was matte. I'm just not a fan of matte lips. The other problem is that it's kind of a noncommittal magenta. If it was either pinker or more purple, I would have liked it more. As it was, I just wasn't feeling it.
Despite the color, I would completely recommend this lipstick. If you want something that gives a lot of intensity without feeling like you missed seven clowns to achieve the color, Kat Von D's Everlasting Liquid is a good way to get it.
The scent is Black Opium by Yves Saint Laurent. It retails for 91$. I didn't exactly like this scent. It has some nice elements to it and a somewhat candy-like fragrance, but it also contains notes of patchouli and I've never been a fan. Granted, they handle the patchouli well. It doesn't swallow up everything else, but it does add this kind of heaviness to the scent that doesn't please me and certainly doesn't feel summery. I know a lot of people would balk at this review because technically, this is an award winning perfume. It just isn't to my taste.
The next item was one of Kat Von D's Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in K-Dub. The product retails for 20$. It comes in 42 shades and some of them have glorious names! One shade is called Backstage Bambi and one shade is called Underage Red. I want to buy Underage Red just so I can tell people I have a lipstick called Underaged Red! Anyway, back to the review.
Everlasting is actually a pretty amazing product. It stays on quite well and it feels really light on the lips. Even though it feels like nothing, the shade has quite an impact because it's highly pigmented. This is cool, but it also causes some problems. My roommate said it didn't LOOK very light, and I'll agree with him there, but the feel of it is great.
Part of the issue is that I didn't exactly like the K-Dub shade. Like with the lipstick last month, this one, while very pigmented, was matte. I'm just not a fan of matte lips. The other problem is that it's kind of a noncommittal magenta. If it was either pinker or more purple, I would have liked it more. As it was, I just wasn't feeling it.
Despite the color, I would completely recommend this lipstick. If you want something that gives a lot of intensity without feeling like you missed seven clowns to achieve the color, Kat Von D's Everlasting Liquid is a good way to get it.
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Cats Ghosts and Otherwise
Thankfully it finally rained this morning and cooled down. We're sitting at the high 60s right now, which means I'll probably get the best sleep I've had in days. The internet and the power were knocked out a number of times but always flicked back on. I'm thankful for that as well. I slept so poorly the last few nights that when I napped earlier, my sleep was so deep it just felt painful when I woke up. Tonight should be easier though.
My roommate and I still talk about the cats who have died. We pretend they are with us as ghosts who pull pranks and cause trouble. Yes, we know they're not really there, but pretending their ghosts continue on with us affords us a kind of comfort. The imagination is intensively healing and I think people should use it more often, even if just in play and over nonsense.
Speaking of cats, a new orange one (yes, a living one) has been showing up on the porch. Today my roommate was out there talking to him, all the while being judged by Tinkerbell the inside cat (who glared) and an irate Mockingbird (who cuss/squawked). He threw both of them some shade as he sweet talked the orange cat. It was really funny.
My roommate and I still talk about the cats who have died. We pretend they are with us as ghosts who pull pranks and cause trouble. Yes, we know they're not really there, but pretending their ghosts continue on with us affords us a kind of comfort. The imagination is intensively healing and I think people should use it more often, even if just in play and over nonsense.
Speaking of cats, a new orange one (yes, a living one) has been showing up on the porch. Today my roommate was out there talking to him, all the while being judged by Tinkerbell the inside cat (who glared) and an irate Mockingbird (who cuss/squawked). He threw both of them some shade as he sweet talked the orange cat. It was really funny.
Saturday, June 17, 2017
Sour
It's been a month since Rowan died. I slept horribly last night, partly because of that, but mostly because of the muggy weather. I never could get comfortable. Needless to say, I was in a pretty bad mood all day.
I had hoped I would be distracted by this by my Sephora Box. The estimated arrival date was today, but it didn't come. This left me at emotional loose ends. I really needed that distraction and it never came. I'm trying to be mature about it and I'm sure I will be after a good night's sleep.
For now, I'm still sour.
I had hoped I would be distracted by this by my Sephora Box. The estimated arrival date was today, but it didn't come. This left me at emotional loose ends. I really needed that distraction and it never came. I'm trying to be mature about it and I'm sure I will be after a good night's sleep.
For now, I'm still sour.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Capitalism at Its Finest
I hear people bitch all the time that America is going down as a nation because of Leftists who hate capitalism. I don't believe that's true. Okay, it's true that some Leftists hate capitalism, but it isn't true that this is why we're going to fail as a nation. That has more to do with how our government, economy, and large corporations have screwed up capitalism for everyone else.
There are towns in Mexico that are thriving because of this. Towns on the border between the US and Mexico are establishing businesses to tend to needs of Americans at a much more reasonable cost. For instance, Los Algodones, Mexico has 600 dentists, around 150 opticians, and several medical clinics. When ICE deports English speaking Mexicans, Los Algodones recruits them so they can act as translators for the medical professionals. Every year, Americans go here to get their teeth fixed, their eyes checked, and other things that aren't possible for them to do in the US. Dental insurance is expensive and rarely covers much of anything. Dental work is expensive. A crown in the US usually costs about 600$.
In Los Algodones, a crown costs 190$. And yes, it costs money to travel to Mexico, but many people are finding ways to handle that, like going on groups. Everyone gets their work done at a far less cost. Even poor people could save up for a year or so and make this happen for themselves.
So while Congres debates about the medical situation in the US and finds ways to strip more and more people of access to care, there will be consequences but not the ones they expect. They believe that restructuring the ACA will cause people to go out and find these magical unicorn jobs that will give them good insurance and tons of money to give to the glutted American Medical monster. Instead, what will end up happening is that more and more people will go to places like Los Algodones and spend their money in another country for reasonable access to reasonable care.
I'm not sure why Congress thinks no money is better than less money, but clearly they do.
There are towns in Mexico that are thriving because of this. Towns on the border between the US and Mexico are establishing businesses to tend to needs of Americans at a much more reasonable cost. For instance, Los Algodones, Mexico has 600 dentists, around 150 opticians, and several medical clinics. When ICE deports English speaking Mexicans, Los Algodones recruits them so they can act as translators for the medical professionals. Every year, Americans go here to get their teeth fixed, their eyes checked, and other things that aren't possible for them to do in the US. Dental insurance is expensive and rarely covers much of anything. Dental work is expensive. A crown in the US usually costs about 600$.
In Los Algodones, a crown costs 190$. And yes, it costs money to travel to Mexico, but many people are finding ways to handle that, like going on groups. Everyone gets their work done at a far less cost. Even poor people could save up for a year or so and make this happen for themselves.
So while Congres debates about the medical situation in the US and finds ways to strip more and more people of access to care, there will be consequences but not the ones they expect. They believe that restructuring the ACA will cause people to go out and find these magical unicorn jobs that will give them good insurance and tons of money to give to the glutted American Medical monster. Instead, what will end up happening is that more and more people will go to places like Los Algodones and spend their money in another country for reasonable access to reasonable care.
I'm not sure why Congress thinks no money is better than less money, but clearly they do.
Thursday, June 15, 2017
Quick Post
I'll make this quick because I think it may actually start raining. Raining this late at night could mean a storm that knocks the internet out and possibly knocks the power out. I hope not because it's too freaking hot to sleep without power.
Let's see, what happened today? I was distracted and weirded out, but that isn't surprising because we're getting close to it being one month since Rowan passed. I drank more water. Not enough, mind you, but more than I had been drinking. It knitted a minute bit. That's about all. Now I'm going to sleep for a while.
Let's see, what happened today? I was distracted and weirded out, but that isn't surprising because we're getting close to it being one month since Rowan passed. I drank more water. Not enough, mind you, but more than I had been drinking. It knitted a minute bit. That's about all. Now I'm going to sleep for a while.
Modifications
One of the more revolutionary things that happened to me in the last 12 months was hearing Roxane Gay talk about the difference between people like her (and me) and people who are "Lane Bryant Fat." Lane Bryant fat women are the cute ones, the body positivity mavens who can still fit into most of the chairs and walk into the Lane Bryant store and buy just about everything in there. Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being Lane Bryant Fat. If that's the size you are and you're happy with it, I'm happy for you.
In fact, I'm rather impressed with LBF women. They are challenging the narrative about what is acceptable as beauty and health and fitness. Some of these women run marathons. Some of them are incredible dancers. Some of them are even able to stand on their heads. Yes, I'm serious about that. There are fat women out there who can do amazing things with yoga and it makes me profoundly happy to see them do it.
Before I continue, I would also like to say that I am very well aware that these women owe me nothing. In fact, I would be very much in the wrong to expect anything from them. Even though these women weigh a couple of hundred pounds less than I do, they're still women living in fat bodies in a society that hates fat bodies. Everything they do to just move ahead with their lives is commendable and I see no reason (nor should anyone else) to expect them to do more than just focus on that.
Recently, I looked up 'fat woman yoga' on Youtube. There is quite a lot of stuff there, which is great. I started watching the videos and realized they were done by LBF women. In some ways, fat is fat. But in other ways, like when it comes to movement, it isn't the same. Someone who is 250 lbs is going to be able to move far better than someone who has 200 lbs more than that on their bodies. These ladies were (quite impressively) bending their bodies in ways mine just could not do.
Now, this is the point where decisions have to be made. I could have just gotten frustrated and sad and let the whole idea go, depressed by the idea that SOME people get to join the party, but not me. I could have gotten angry and spent hours being resentful and hurt and, again, let the whole thing go, but immaturely blaming others. Or I could get clever.
I got clever. While looking through the basic fitness videos, I noticed there was a section of ones where people were recovering from injuries/surgeries and trying to modify their workouts accordingly. So perhaps I could find one where an LBF woman was talking about the modifications she had to take after she suffered an injury. After all, that might put her close to my level.
And you know what? I found one! She was in recovery from a knee issue, which meant limited mobility. Some of her stuff was still beyond me, but I could do enough of it to use it as a launching pad! If (IF) I can keep up with this, I might even be able to do all of her stuff eventually.
I am one of the smaller number of extremely fat women in the fat women minority. If you are a minority within a larger population of a minority group, things can be frustrating at times, but that doesn't mean you should derail the whole system. It also doesn't give you an excuse to quit. There is no reason to assume things will be perfectly suited to what you need. Sometimes, you just have to dig a little deeper.
In fact, I'm rather impressed with LBF women. They are challenging the narrative about what is acceptable as beauty and health and fitness. Some of these women run marathons. Some of them are incredible dancers. Some of them are even able to stand on their heads. Yes, I'm serious about that. There are fat women out there who can do amazing things with yoga and it makes me profoundly happy to see them do it.
Before I continue, I would also like to say that I am very well aware that these women owe me nothing. In fact, I would be very much in the wrong to expect anything from them. Even though these women weigh a couple of hundred pounds less than I do, they're still women living in fat bodies in a society that hates fat bodies. Everything they do to just move ahead with their lives is commendable and I see no reason (nor should anyone else) to expect them to do more than just focus on that.
Recently, I looked up 'fat woman yoga' on Youtube. There is quite a lot of stuff there, which is great. I started watching the videos and realized they were done by LBF women. In some ways, fat is fat. But in other ways, like when it comes to movement, it isn't the same. Someone who is 250 lbs is going to be able to move far better than someone who has 200 lbs more than that on their bodies. These ladies were (quite impressively) bending their bodies in ways mine just could not do.
Now, this is the point where decisions have to be made. I could have just gotten frustrated and sad and let the whole idea go, depressed by the idea that SOME people get to join the party, but not me. I could have gotten angry and spent hours being resentful and hurt and, again, let the whole thing go, but immaturely blaming others. Or I could get clever.
I got clever. While looking through the basic fitness videos, I noticed there was a section of ones where people were recovering from injuries/surgeries and trying to modify their workouts accordingly. So perhaps I could find one where an LBF woman was talking about the modifications she had to take after she suffered an injury. After all, that might put her close to my level.
And you know what? I found one! She was in recovery from a knee issue, which meant limited mobility. Some of her stuff was still beyond me, but I could do enough of it to use it as a launching pad! If (IF) I can keep up with this, I might even be able to do all of her stuff eventually.
I am one of the smaller number of extremely fat women in the fat women minority. If you are a minority within a larger population of a minority group, things can be frustrating at times, but that doesn't mean you should derail the whole system. It also doesn't give you an excuse to quit. There is no reason to assume things will be perfectly suited to what you need. Sometimes, you just have to dig a little deeper.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
The Curtains
As you may know, I live in a house I inherited from my grandmother. I'm poor so updates only happen when things break. Until that point, we're usually content to just leave stuff as is and occasionally speculate on how long it's been in the house. When things do break, we often have to get creative. Fortunately, we're good at that.
The bathroom has a window located in the wall of the bathtub/shower. I hate this because it means I can't just go get some generic tub surround and make the bathroom look better. It also means we have to contend with curtains because a girl doesn't want people snooping at her naked . . . not that anyone would.
Anyway, the curtains in there were waterproof-ish and purchased by my grandmother way back in who knows when. We left them in place, occasionally washing them to keep down any possible mold issues. In the last washing, they finally died.
My roommate's solution to this was excellent. He bought a thin shower curtain and cut it down to fit the window. This solves a number of problems as we know it's waterproof, easily handled while wet, and light enough to not cause any problems. It's also really cute, as he tends to pick out things that look nice and classy when in place. The best part of it is that he cut it just below a prominent pattern, which gives the illusion that it has a hem.
The bathroom is still ugly and in need of a lot of work, but just adding that new curtain helps it a lot. It really is true that even changing the smallest detail can make a difference.
The bathroom has a window located in the wall of the bathtub/shower. I hate this because it means I can't just go get some generic tub surround and make the bathroom look better. It also means we have to contend with curtains because a girl doesn't want people snooping at her naked . . . not that anyone would.
Anyway, the curtains in there were waterproof-ish and purchased by my grandmother way back in who knows when. We left them in place, occasionally washing them to keep down any possible mold issues. In the last washing, they finally died.
My roommate's solution to this was excellent. He bought a thin shower curtain and cut it down to fit the window. This solves a number of problems as we know it's waterproof, easily handled while wet, and light enough to not cause any problems. It's also really cute, as he tends to pick out things that look nice and classy when in place. The best part of it is that he cut it just below a prominent pattern, which gives the illusion that it has a hem.
The bathroom is still ugly and in need of a lot of work, but just adding that new curtain helps it a lot. It really is true that even changing the smallest detail can make a difference.
Monday, June 12, 2017
Babashook
It's pride month and I wanted to talk some about that, but first, for posterity, I have to note that while the internet can be a horrible cesspool of hate most of the time, once in a while, it does something amazing. In this case, it all started when Netflix, by accident, placed the movie Babadook with the LGBT films instead of the horror films. Just offhand, and as a joke, people started posting on Twitter and Tumblr about how nice it was that Netflix was acknowledging the Babadook as the true gay icon he is. Nothing was meant by it, but suddenly it stirred the imagination and people began to really love the idea.Soon after, memes like the one I posted above began to surface. This lead to people photoshopping the Babadook into famous gay moments. There is a picture of him at Stonewall. There is what looks like a screen capture of him on Drag Race. People are dressing up like him for pride parades and being carried on signs. With just one little misplaced link, a cultural shift has happened.
Is there a deeper reason for this? Possibly not. Then again, maybe there is. Maybe in the wake of a government that doesn't feel that friendly to outsiders and a world where people can be killed just for daring to step outside the normal sexual paths, it's comforting to think of a monster being on your side. And not just any monster, one with a pop-up book who tried to save us all from the most obnoxious bratty child ever.
Hell, I liked him just for that.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Lip Diffusion
I was scrolling through my various makeup posts and saw this really interesting technique. It started with Kelseyanna Fitzpatrick, one of Kat Von D's people. Called Soul Eater, the technique involves using a fluffy eyeshadow brush to diffuse the lipliner, creating a kind of halo effect just outside the lip. Here are some examples. This. And then this.
As you can see, we have the diffused area on the outside and then a very glossy actual lip. The diffusion causes the outer areas of the lip to be lighter than the inner area. This is a departure from the contoured lip that has been in style for a while now, where the outer areas are darker and the middle is purposefully highlighted to create an illusion of fullness. Then again, maybe it's time to get away from that.
This lip diffusion is something people will have to practice. Unless your goal is to look like your put your makeup on while you were drunk (which, in some cases, that may BE your goal), this will take some finessing. Even still, it may be fun to try.
As you can see, we have the diffused area on the outside and then a very glossy actual lip. The diffusion causes the outer areas of the lip to be lighter than the inner area. This is a departure from the contoured lip that has been in style for a while now, where the outer areas are darker and the middle is purposefully highlighted to create an illusion of fullness. Then again, maybe it's time to get away from that.
This lip diffusion is something people will have to practice. Unless your goal is to look like your put your makeup on while you were drunk (which, in some cases, that may BE your goal), this will take some finessing. Even still, it may be fun to try.
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Humans
Uggh. I'm in such a foul mood right now. I have to go to a baby shower tomorrow. I hate baby showers. I have to be around humans. I mostly hate humans. I have to walk into a building and locate a chair and I have no idea how far I'll be walking or the quality of the chair once I'm inside. I hate the unknown. I'm just so not in a good mood about all of this.
I read about a woman who hated people so much that she pretended to be blind for over 20 years. The person who posted the article was all offended and like "she'll just die alone" and I was thinking yes, yes she will. That's what she wants to do because she hates people so much she pretended to be blind for 20 years.
That's kind of genius, really. It's such a good idea if you dislike other humans. I guess there would be other ways to do it. No, I can't come to your (name of event) there will be children and I'm not allowed near children by court order. Don't bother making up a lie as to why. Just let them assume. That way you never get asked to go to things like baby showers or bake sales. You're free.
I read about a woman who hated people so much that she pretended to be blind for over 20 years. The person who posted the article was all offended and like "she'll just die alone" and I was thinking yes, yes she will. That's what she wants to do because she hates people so much she pretended to be blind for 20 years.
That's kind of genius, really. It's such a good idea if you dislike other humans. I guess there would be other ways to do it. No, I can't come to your (name of event) there will be children and I'm not allowed near children by court order. Don't bother making up a lie as to why. Just let them assume. That way you never get asked to go to things like baby showers or bake sales. You're free.
Friday, June 9, 2017
Headcannon
I finally downloaded GIMP on my computer again and started messing with stuff. Mostly, I messed with my face. I like my face as a base starting point for art. Do I make the work look like me? Hell no. My art based on my face is always my alter ego. She looks so much better than me and her eyes don't tear up when she wears makeup. Lucky old thing. Truth be told though, this is how I look in my headcannon. Kind of like me, Siouxsie, and a pulp mag had a baby.
Anyway, I should have been working on the baby blanket, but I didn't. Right now it's making my hands ache so I'm taking it a bit slow. I'm also still in a rather bad mood so it's best that I don't infuse that into the blanket. No need to give the kid negativity.
Anyway, I should have been working on the baby blanket, but I didn't. Right now it's making my hands ache so I'm taking it a bit slow. I'm also still in a rather bad mood so it's best that I don't infuse that into the blanket. No need to give the kid negativity.
And the Rest is Drag
As you may know, I've basically handled my pain over losing the cats by obsessively watching makeup tutorials and stuff about drag queens. I think my favorite Youtube show right now is Transformations with James St. James because it combines both of these obsessions. Usually, everyone who comes on IS a drag queen and they put makeup on James. It's excellent.
While James does have a lot of RPDR queens on the show, he also looks for up and coming talent and I like that because it's given me a chance to see new talent. There are quite a few people I hope will be on Drag Race in the next few years. Right now I think some of them are too young (you have to be 21) but in a way, that's good because it will give them more time to hone their talents.
I love that the show is inspiring more and more people to see this as a viable profession. It expands and evolves the artform. It's also ensuring that it won't disappear and I'm glad of that. The world needs drag.
While James does have a lot of RPDR queens on the show, he also looks for up and coming talent and I like that because it's given me a chance to see new talent. There are quite a few people I hope will be on Drag Race in the next few years. Right now I think some of them are too young (you have to be 21) but in a way, that's good because it will give them more time to hone their talents.
I love that the show is inspiring more and more people to see this as a viable profession. It expands and evolves the artform. It's also ensuring that it won't disappear and I'm glad of that. The world needs drag.
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Smoking Kills
One of my more blackhearted friends posted a meme today. It was a pack of cigs with a huge warning label that says "SMOKING KILLS!" The caption is "It would be easier to quit if they'd stop making them so tempting." I snorted bitterly at this because it was funny in the same way the Suicide Booth on Futurama is funny. On one hand, it's dark. On the other hand, part of you wishes it was true.
I was seriously depressed all day. Depressed and anxious. Sad and out of sorts. Maybe I always will be on Wednesdays now. I don't know. I just know today was not easy and I'm still finding it difficult to look forward to anything. The worst part is that the knitting project I'm doing really isn't helping me that much. Maybe things will be better tomorrow.
I was seriously depressed all day. Depressed and anxious. Sad and out of sorts. Maybe I always will be on Wednesdays now. I don't know. I just know today was not easy and I'm still finding it difficult to look forward to anything. The worst part is that the knitting project I'm doing really isn't helping me that much. Maybe things will be better tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
The Under tapped Market
There is this episode of The Simpsons where Marge is involved in women's investment group. They're trying to brainstorm about their next investment and one old lady comments that maybe they can do something with the fact that 'children are so fat these days.' My best friend and I laughed and laughed about that. It's still quoted by us.
It's also truer than ever! It isn't just children, it's people. People are fat. Lots of people are very fat. Some of them (me) and massively fat. And no, this isn't a post about how everyone needs to lose weight. This is a post about how everyone is fat and no businesses seem smart enough to really do anything about it.
Everywhere I go, I'm mostly uncomfortable. Sometimes it's a little discomfort, like having to have the hard metal edge of something jab into my leg because a chair is too narrow. Other times it's deeply uncomfortable because the unmovable tables are so close to the unmovable benches that I basically just have to sit between them. If I'm trying to decide where to go to get food or spend my money, my list of mental questions isn't just 'do I want to eat that?' or 'do I like the service there?' I also get to add in 'what level of pain am I willing to be in?'
For me, going to public places is almost always a matter of discomfort, pain, and exhaustion. Any movie, any dining experience, any little jaunt out to get coffee with a friend will usually include pain. It will also include frustration because I know it doesn't have to be this way. There are places where things actually are comfortable and all these places have to do is include tables that can be moved and benches that are strong and padded. Just that. It doesn't have to be the whole place, but at least some of this would be nice. It's better than those bar height chairs and tall tables that no one ever sits in. Seriously, no one sits there. Well, no one sits there and looks comfortable at any rate.
When I went to the movies yesterday and we had to wait 30 extra minutes for them to clean out a theater, I looked around at the seating options I would have had if I didn't have my walker (which, by the way, was not comfortable. They're not designed to be sat in for that long). There were some outdoors benches that I know, as I have sat on them, really don't hold that much weight. There were also some of those bar height tables. The thing is, they were all pushed up close to the front part of the entry because the theater felt the need to have six billion massive displays of upcoming movies. You know what would have brought more people in than those displays? A banquette as long as the wall that could provide good, sturdy seating for people.
I am so grateful when I find a place that has good seating that I will go there even if I don't really like it otherwise. There is a place in Fort Smith where we continued to go until the food just got nasty because it was comfortable. Of all the ways in which thin privilege plays out, the fact that thin people can go into most situations knowing their bodies will fit has the be the best one. You have no idea how much mental labor I have to do about this.
If I were the only fat person around, I wonder understand (though not be happy about) why things weren't built for me. I realize having 3 bathroom stalls big enough for me to turn around in means fewer people can pee at once, as opposed to having six bathroom stalls and only one of them being big enough for me. But while this means more thin people can pee at once, it also means you have a line of fat women who are having to wait to use that one stall. It also means this is going to be held against your establishment next time one of those fat women decides where to spend her money.
Because it's not just me. Lots of us are so fat these days. Lots of us need bigger chairs and stronger supports and tables that move. Honestly, if your business is failing, maybe you should think about my people as potential clients. Reinforce some couches. Build some banquettes along the walls. Make sure all your tables can be moved. Have seats that are wide and for the love of all that is holy, don't have chairs with arms!
Fat people are a market that needs to be addressed. Even if you don't support people being fat, even if you would rather we all got thin, that won't be happening today or tomorrow. Address our comfort needs and watch as your business grows. It isn't like you won't get thin people in there too. Thin people can sit on the fat people chairs. It's just that the opposite isn't true.
It's also truer than ever! It isn't just children, it's people. People are fat. Lots of people are very fat. Some of them (me) and massively fat. And no, this isn't a post about how everyone needs to lose weight. This is a post about how everyone is fat and no businesses seem smart enough to really do anything about it.
Everywhere I go, I'm mostly uncomfortable. Sometimes it's a little discomfort, like having to have the hard metal edge of something jab into my leg because a chair is too narrow. Other times it's deeply uncomfortable because the unmovable tables are so close to the unmovable benches that I basically just have to sit between them. If I'm trying to decide where to go to get food or spend my money, my list of mental questions isn't just 'do I want to eat that?' or 'do I like the service there?' I also get to add in 'what level of pain am I willing to be in?'
For me, going to public places is almost always a matter of discomfort, pain, and exhaustion. Any movie, any dining experience, any little jaunt out to get coffee with a friend will usually include pain. It will also include frustration because I know it doesn't have to be this way. There are places where things actually are comfortable and all these places have to do is include tables that can be moved and benches that are strong and padded. Just that. It doesn't have to be the whole place, but at least some of this would be nice. It's better than those bar height chairs and tall tables that no one ever sits in. Seriously, no one sits there. Well, no one sits there and looks comfortable at any rate.
When I went to the movies yesterday and we had to wait 30 extra minutes for them to clean out a theater, I looked around at the seating options I would have had if I didn't have my walker (which, by the way, was not comfortable. They're not designed to be sat in for that long). There were some outdoors benches that I know, as I have sat on them, really don't hold that much weight. There were also some of those bar height tables. The thing is, they were all pushed up close to the front part of the entry because the theater felt the need to have six billion massive displays of upcoming movies. You know what would have brought more people in than those displays? A banquette as long as the wall that could provide good, sturdy seating for people.
I am so grateful when I find a place that has good seating that I will go there even if I don't really like it otherwise. There is a place in Fort Smith where we continued to go until the food just got nasty because it was comfortable. Of all the ways in which thin privilege plays out, the fact that thin people can go into most situations knowing their bodies will fit has the be the best one. You have no idea how much mental labor I have to do about this.
If I were the only fat person around, I wonder understand (though not be happy about) why things weren't built for me. I realize having 3 bathroom stalls big enough for me to turn around in means fewer people can pee at once, as opposed to having six bathroom stalls and only one of them being big enough for me. But while this means more thin people can pee at once, it also means you have a line of fat women who are having to wait to use that one stall. It also means this is going to be held against your establishment next time one of those fat women decides where to spend her money.
Because it's not just me. Lots of us are so fat these days. Lots of us need bigger chairs and stronger supports and tables that move. Honestly, if your business is failing, maybe you should think about my people as potential clients. Reinforce some couches. Build some banquettes along the walls. Make sure all your tables can be moved. Have seats that are wide and for the love of all that is holy, don't have chairs with arms!
Fat people are a market that needs to be addressed. Even if you don't support people being fat, even if you would rather we all got thin, that won't be happening today or tomorrow. Address our comfort needs and watch as your business grows. It isn't like you won't get thin people in there too. Thin people can sit on the fat people chairs. It's just that the opposite isn't true.
Monday, June 5, 2017
And Sometimes They Do
In therapy, one of the techniques used for combatting anxiety is to take deep breaths, say all of your possible dire situations out loud, and calmly remind yourself that they are quite unlikely to happen. In forms of anxiety that are completely based on the misfiring of chemicals in your brain, this works quite often. You breathe, you list, and then you dismiss. I won't say that it's always simple. Sometimes that process has to be repeated over and over. It can and does work, however, if the anxiety is formed out of chemicals only and nothing of substance.
Here's the thing. This is not the only time people experience anxiety. Panic attacks can be triggered over many different scenarios and many times, they are based around things that have happened to you already. If you've been bullied before, you can get panicky about new people. If you've been in a room with a fire, you might get anxious if you don't know where the exits are. Even in situations like this, people will often ask you what is the worst that can happen. Often you don't tell them, just as it's often difficult to put into words why you might be crying or shaking.
Even still, people who are trying to improve their mental health and be brave despite all the emotions that are jabbing them with a knife will still do their best to breathe, list, and dismiss. I went to a movie today. I'd fallen a couple of nights ago and wasn't feeling that confident about my abilities to wander around the theater without lots of pain and exhaustion. I panicked about it even but tried my best to focus on the positives and move forward. After all, it was a movie we both wanted to see and I had my walker so if things got too bad, I could use it to steady myself for a moment.
Breathe breathe. Because what was the worst that could happen? It was wet and I slip in water and fall? I've fallen at the theater before and I survived. I would be laughed at? Eh, fuck them. Who cares what they think. I would be forced to be in an uncomfortable position for a while to the point where my walker was causing me more pain than helping me? What were the chances of that?
Most of the time, these things never happen.
And . . . sometimes they do.
When we got to the theater, what we assumed would be the first showing and one we could just walk into was not. We ended up having to wait for long damned while. I had to sit on the walker and it's only comfortable for about three minutes. Past that, it gets painful. My feet don't touch the ground well and I have to tiptoe to keep it steady. It makes my back hurt and twists me a little. The longer we waited, the more agony I was in. My poor roommate had to stand that whole time and hold a wet drink that kept trying to slip out of his fingers.
Okay though, here's the part where the therapy deepens. If you breathe, list, and then CANNOT dismiss something, you look at it from another angle. Will you survive it? Will you be okay after the situation is over? In this case, I was. I lived. I'm in pain and I had to reschedule some things, I'm glad I went and I'm glad I faced down my panic. I'm not happy we had to wait that long because that seriously sucked.
Anyway, when you find yourself being anxious about something, try the breathe, list, dismiss. If you can't dismiss, analyze the situation to see if it's still worth your while. If it is, do it anyway. If not, well, honestly, that's not panic. That's your mind telling you not to do the bad thing. It's important to know that difference as well.
Here's the thing. This is not the only time people experience anxiety. Panic attacks can be triggered over many different scenarios and many times, they are based around things that have happened to you already. If you've been bullied before, you can get panicky about new people. If you've been in a room with a fire, you might get anxious if you don't know where the exits are. Even in situations like this, people will often ask you what is the worst that can happen. Often you don't tell them, just as it's often difficult to put into words why you might be crying or shaking.
Even still, people who are trying to improve their mental health and be brave despite all the emotions that are jabbing them with a knife will still do their best to breathe, list, and dismiss. I went to a movie today. I'd fallen a couple of nights ago and wasn't feeling that confident about my abilities to wander around the theater without lots of pain and exhaustion. I panicked about it even but tried my best to focus on the positives and move forward. After all, it was a movie we both wanted to see and I had my walker so if things got too bad, I could use it to steady myself for a moment.
Breathe breathe. Because what was the worst that could happen? It was wet and I slip in water and fall? I've fallen at the theater before and I survived. I would be laughed at? Eh, fuck them. Who cares what they think. I would be forced to be in an uncomfortable position for a while to the point where my walker was causing me more pain than helping me? What were the chances of that?
Most of the time, these things never happen.
And . . . sometimes they do.
When we got to the theater, what we assumed would be the first showing and one we could just walk into was not. We ended up having to wait for long damned while. I had to sit on the walker and it's only comfortable for about three minutes. Past that, it gets painful. My feet don't touch the ground well and I have to tiptoe to keep it steady. It makes my back hurt and twists me a little. The longer we waited, the more agony I was in. My poor roommate had to stand that whole time and hold a wet drink that kept trying to slip out of his fingers.
Okay though, here's the part where the therapy deepens. If you breathe, list, and then CANNOT dismiss something, you look at it from another angle. Will you survive it? Will you be okay after the situation is over? In this case, I was. I lived. I'm in pain and I had to reschedule some things, I'm glad I went and I'm glad I faced down my panic. I'm not happy we had to wait that long because that seriously sucked.
Anyway, when you find yourself being anxious about something, try the breathe, list, dismiss. If you can't dismiss, analyze the situation to see if it's still worth your while. If it is, do it anyway. If not, well, honestly, that's not panic. That's your mind telling you not to do the bad thing. It's important to know that difference as well.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Blanket
I'm working on a baby blanket right now. It's slow going, though I'm trying my best to keep up the pace. I'm not sure how well that will go, but I'm doing my best. I'm hoping maybe having a project to focus on will get me out of my creative funk.
I'm basically back to avoiding Facebook again. There is so much stuff on there that just puts me in a bad place. I'm not in that great of a place anyway so I don't need to add fuel to that depression fire. In fact, I started writing this long, angry blog post about stealthing but erased it. The best answer to that is just to avoid men, and I'm doing that anyway. Hopefully, more people will join me.
In the meantime, I'll knit and keep myself occupied.
I'm basically back to avoiding Facebook again. There is so much stuff on there that just puts me in a bad place. I'm not in that great of a place anyway so I don't need to add fuel to that depression fire. In fact, I started writing this long, angry blog post about stealthing but erased it. The best answer to that is just to avoid men, and I'm doing that anyway. Hopefully, more people will join me.
In the meantime, I'll knit and keep myself occupied.
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Got this Terrible Cold Coming On
This humidity is awful. I'm not feeling that well anyway, but the weather is creating this artificial sensation of feverishness. I'm clammy and constantly uncomfortable. We couldn't even justify turning on the AC because it technically wasn't that hot, it just feels awful. It's making me ache so badly. I am so over this weather. Be hot or rain. No more of this.
Then again, this nasty humidity basically IS summer around here. There is nothing nice about it. It's all just stickiness and discomfort. I'm already sick of it.
Then again, this nasty humidity basically IS summer around here. There is nothing nice about it. It's all just stickiness and discomfort. I'm already sick of it.
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Narrow
I left organized religion and shun traditional gender roles because I don't want to be told what to do. I don't want to live by some massive list of rules and laws. I'm free. I take my freedom and make my decisions and I live with the consequences. To me, this is what being a feminist is about. You are free to make your own choices, no matter what others say. To me, this is what being liberal is about. You promote freedom.
I don't think this is what liberalism means for a lot of people. For them, it seems to mean ascribing new sets of rules and codes and laws. I'm not into that. I walked away from the traditional stuff because people were trying to dictate my behavior. They're still trying to dictate it now. I'm not going to be part of a new group that does the same thing.
I hate political correctness. I don't mean I hate it when people are polite. That's awesome. Having manners and treating people with civility is awesome. I hate the term political correctness because the Right uses it against the Left (even though the Right has its own very, VERY narrow definition of what is acceptable and what is not) and the Left keeps making more and more rules about it. Look, we need as little of this as possible. It's a good thing for people to express how they feel. It lets you know who to avoid.
Beyond that, I never want to be part of the Right because there are so many places where people would tell me what to wear, what to say, what job to have, how to conduct myself sexually, how to speak to others, how to act in public, how to express my humor. I want no damned part of that. And I will be damned if some aspects of the Left aren't trying to do the same thing. So long as we keep limiting what others do, we'll never really be free.
I don't think this is what liberalism means for a lot of people. For them, it seems to mean ascribing new sets of rules and codes and laws. I'm not into that. I walked away from the traditional stuff because people were trying to dictate my behavior. They're still trying to dictate it now. I'm not going to be part of a new group that does the same thing.
I hate political correctness. I don't mean I hate it when people are polite. That's awesome. Having manners and treating people with civility is awesome. I hate the term political correctness because the Right uses it against the Left (even though the Right has its own very, VERY narrow definition of what is acceptable and what is not) and the Left keeps making more and more rules about it. Look, we need as little of this as possible. It's a good thing for people to express how they feel. It lets you know who to avoid.
Beyond that, I never want to be part of the Right because there are so many places where people would tell me what to wear, what to say, what job to have, how to conduct myself sexually, how to speak to others, how to act in public, how to express my humor. I want no damned part of that. And I will be damned if some aspects of the Left aren't trying to do the same thing. So long as we keep limiting what others do, we'll never really be free.
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