Being the Companion

Today my roommate had an appointment and I was his companion. I wasn't even that active of one. I mostly just rode along and talked to him. I was, in no way, being put out here.

And yet, on several occasions, he apologized to me because of the trip. His appointment went longer than expected. The place we went to get food was disorganized. An errand ran longer than expected. The thing is, none of this was his fault and I knew it. There was no reason for him to apologize.

The thing is, if this had been just a trip of mutual errands, he wouldn't have. We would have commiserated about the disorganized fast food joint and the annoying errand. However, because it was his appointment that sparked the trip, there was almost this thought that everything that went wrong was his fault.

I hope I wasn't acting like it was his fault because I know better than that. I also know WHY he felt compelled to apologize because I would have probably done the same thing before this last year. When someone would take me on one of my doctor's appointments, especially one of the ones to Tulsa, I would feel almost cringy about anything that went wrong. Finally, however, my best friend pointed out to me that if she hadn't wanted to take me, she wouldn't have.

When you go with someone to an appointment, you accept the role as Companion. It's an important role to take because any kind of medical appointment has the potential to go scarybad. You are there to be the person who eases the other one through the scarybad, the mundane, or just whatever goes on. If you're not willing to do that, well, as my best friend said, just don't go.

So no, when someone accepts the role as your Companion, be grateful to them and happy they're with you, but don't keep apologizing for what's going on. They knew it was a medical thing going in. They knew it was possible this could take a while. That's all understood.

And if you are the person who chooses to BE the Companion, then be supportive and understanding. That way if the scarybad news does happen, you can give them the emotional help they need.