Basic Recipe for Happiness

What you will need:

1 fuzzy blanket, color isn't important but the older it is, the better.
1 ottoman or footrest, the larger the better.
1 comfy chair
1 human
1 cat
1 wooden back scratcher

Instructions:

Place the human in the chair and have its feet put on the ottoman. It's important that the ottoman be at a good height so that the human's legs don't go to sleep.  If this height is not there to begin with, prop pillows under the legs of the human.

Place fuzzy blanket over the human's legs. Fuzzy blankets, like open books and newspapers, act as natural cat lures. Once fuzzy blanket is in place, cat will be drawn to it.

Note that it's important that the cat not realize anyone wants it to jump on the blanket.  Due to a cat's worship of contrariness, it will feel compelled to do just the opposite of jumping on the blanket, either walking away or, even worse, standing at the base of the ottoman and pretending to be confused.

However, if you  act like you don't want the cat up there, the cat will jump up with no problems. Make sure the human has its legs in a comfortable position, as fuzzy blankets put cats to sleep almost instantly.

Once cat is installed, place back scratcher in the hand of the human. Instruct the human to very gently comb the cat's fur with the scratcher. The instrument will leave Zen-like lines in the cat's fur and cause an intense purring sensation (from the cat, not the human . . . well, sometimes from the human as well).

Results:

Cat will receive pleasure from being worshiped by back scratcher.  Cat will consider itself to be quite well-tended by its humans and feel all is right with the world. Human will experience both the warm fuzzies of blanket plus cat purring, plus warm and the zen contentment of having a cat fur version of a sand garden.

Effects dependent on human and cat.  Repeat as needed.