Blogging for Better Living

I have a friend who has a sibling they are very close to. I was talking to said friend the other night and they were telling me about how much they dread the fact that their sibling is going on vacation with friends. "It's not that I don't want F. to go, it's just that I know F. never has a good time with these people.  In fact, the trip is always a misery and when F. comes back, I'm going to have to hear about this for days."

Now, we could talk about how F. shouldn't go on vacation with these people. We could talk about how my friend shouldn't listen to F.'s complaints and should put a stop to all of this. However, I would like to focus on the fact that truly, F. should just shut the hell up.

I'm not talking about repression here. I believe that if something frustrates or angers you, you SHOULD talk about it. You should express your feelings and get them all out there . . . just . . . not to your friends and/or family members.

I think more people need blogs. I think people should blog about their crap and vent all of their issues out to the blog, work through their emotional yick, and leave other humans the fuck alone.

I hate how on TV shows, commercials, hell, ANY media you always see these women complaining about how men don't show their emotions. This always gets on my nerves because it's such bullshit. For one thing, most men I know are far more showing of emotion than women. Anger is an emotion. Frustration is an emotion.  Hunger, lust, and annoyance might be considered closer to drives . . . but they're linked to emotions.  It's not that I'm saying this is all there is to men. That's far from the case. It's just that I see men showing emotion all the time and don't get why these TV women don't see it.

Beyond that . . . do you really want people telling you about their emotions all the time? REALLY?  Think about it. Isn't like the worst thing about any relationship having to listen to this other person talk about their feelings?  I don't mean their good happy fluffy feelings. This is more about the feelings where they're scared, freaked out, and dissatisfied all the time. No one wants to hear that.

Therefore . . . BLOG!

See, I'm not saying you should bottle up your emotions. I fully well believe they should be expressed . . . to therapists and therapy groups and to journals and blogs.

And why do I feel this way?

I think it's mainly because I grew up with depressed and frustrated people. I grew up with people who complained and bitched and BITCHED and hated everything about everything all the damned time. I would ask my mom what she wanted for Christmas and she's say something like, "I want a better job so I'm not so damned poor all the time."

As an adult, I fully well comprehend that when someone is depressed or otherwise mentally fucked, focusing on positive things like gifts can be somewhat difficult.

I also know that statements like that suck up all the light and joy, not only from the room, but from the city, the state, and the very concept of the holiday. Look, I get that you're depressed, but can't you just fucking say you want a fucking BOOK or something? Is it so difficult?

Okay, maybe it is so difficult.  Maybe the idea of summoning up the hope or positive emotion enough to think of a gift is very rough.  However, if it's your kid who is asking, make a goddamned effort.

I know I'm guilty of this. There are many times when I'm with my friends and I just let all of my emotional baggage fall out over the floor. I think I'm going to try and make a very strong effort at NOT doing that.  It's not fair to them and it's irresponsible of me.

Emotional ranting is like cat puke. When a cat pukes, it goes through all of these violent physical actions that end in a nasty globby mess on the floor (or the couch or the bed or your coat).  The cat looks at the mess and walks away. It got out what it needed to get out of its system.  However, you are left with said mess and you have to clean it up.

When you rant at someone about your problems and whatnot, you are the cat who is puking.  It hurts you. It's difficult to do. Eventually, however, it's over.  You have ranted your little heart out. You feel better (assuming you can) and you go on with your life.

But all of that negative stuff that you let go of is still sitting there at the feet of this person you were ranting to.  You may be over it, but they still have to deal with it.

So . . . instead of talking for hours and hours about how shitty your life is, blog about it. Instead of freaking out to someone about how horrible your debt is,start a finance blog and talk about your spending habits.  Instead of telling your kids you just want a better job for Christmas, blog about the frustrations of being poor . . . or SOMETHING. Anything. Just don't weigh down someone else with this.

Sp going back to my example, let's say F., instead of bitching and complaining to my friend about the sucktastic trip, actually starts writing about the trip. F. details all of the bad things that happen, all of the stuff that went wrong, all of the moments of complete fuckery. Later on, F. goes back to read about this, and begins to notice certain patterns in why things become bad.

Maybe some person is always involved. Maybe there is a lack of organization to the trip that needs to be added. Maybe everyone just forgets to eat enough to keep their blood sugar at healthy levels and they all start snapping at each other.

Removed from the situation, but left with a physical detailing of it, F. can now rationally analyse why this trip is always so bad and make changes. Not only is my friend left in peace, but F. is able to find a way to fix what is always a misery.

See? Blogging for better living!  It keeps the peace, it gets out the emotion, and it leaves a record of what happened.  So many reasons to pour your little emotional nasties only a blog.

Who knows? After a while, you might just find yourself writing about happy things.