Cats in the Cradle

For most of her life, my little white cat has been haughty and not interested in spending much time with me. She would come over, on occasion, wanting to be petted, but for the most part, she tended to stay aloof. Recently, that has changed. She now runs to me whenever I come into the room and spends a great deal of time on my lap. Even when she would sit with me before, she would usually sit near me, but not on me. Now, as my roommate has pointed out, she tries her best to get closer and closer to me, sometimes even sitting with her head pushed against my boob.

Of course, during all the years she basically ignored me, I wanted her to sit with me. I would coax her, call for her, make sweet little noises, and sometimes, when I was unusually needy, I would beg. She didn't care. She was going to come sit near me when she decided to and not a moment before. Now that she sits on me the majority of the time, you'd think I'd be as happy as I could be. And . . . sometimes I am. Most of the time, however, she just annoys the hell out of me. She digs her claws into my skin, she tries to bite me, she swats my keyboard with her tail, or, when she's really in a mood, she'll try and sit ON my keyboard and keep me from using it.

This is, as we all know, one of the more odd things about relationships. The more we want someone, the more they seem to distance themselves from us. And if someone wants us more than we want them, we find it annoying and burdensome. From time to time, this can even be the same person. I guess this shouldn't surprise us because it's how things happen for a lot of us as kids. When we're very small, most kids want to be around their parents more than anyone else. Kids feel cheated when they're sent to babysitters or even sent to bed when they know their parents are still awake. They want to be with THEM. As the kids get older, they want to be around their parents less and it is the parents who seem to want their children near. The song "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin is very true for a lot of people's relationships.

As for the cat and me, I'm doing my best to keep things in perspective. Yes, her constant need to sit on me can be annoying, but at the same time, the lifespan of a cat isn't that long. I only have a limited amount of years with her, so I should spend as much time making happy memories as I can. So even when she's slapping me with her tail and backclawing my thigh, I'm going to pet her and praise her. I'm going to remember that I'm being given a gift here. This cat loves me and is showing me how much she loves me. Being loved isn't something I've had every day of my life, so I should remember to appreciate it when it is given.

Besides, when she thinks I'm getting too happy about her sitting on me, she usually goes away.