Time Time Time

So Daylight Saving Time has happened and I dislike it as much as I always do. At least I had today to get somewhat used to it. Tomorrow I need to call my doctor and make an appointment to see her for another Depo shot/check up in April and see if she will make an appointment with a gyno so I can talk to them about NovaSure or other possible options. I'm starting to feel strong enough to do this. Hopefully nothing will happen to zap that strength again. Every time I walk, I get a little worried about that. I certainly don't want to take being stronger for granted any more. It really puts things into perspective.

I guess if this first part of the year has taught me anything, it's to not take what I have for granted. The smallest pleasures, the smallest comforts, can be stripped away so easily. There were times when I couldn't just sit in my living room and watch TV. I couldn't listen to music or type at my friends. I couldn't play FB games without getting dizzy and feeling depleted. There were days when I felt like I had lost so much. I felt like this shell of a person, just doing her best to move from one moment to the next. I never want to feel that way again, but realistically, I know that as I age, it probably will happen again. Disease and the ravages of time will strip away at me, like they do at everyone.

This all kind of scares me because the thing that keeps people going (especially me) is a sense of having something to look forward to. Right now, on this night, I'm just really not sure what that is. It's not Spring. Spring will just bring fleas, storms, and growing grass. All of these things cause conflicts and drama. It's not summer. That will just be hot, with danger when stranded along the side of the road. It will be the constant war between trying to stay cool and not running up the electric bill. Right now, all of that just sounds overwhelming and awful. Maybe I can find stuff to make it okay, but I'm not seeing it at the moment.

Maybe I just need some sleep.