Being A Human

Sometimes gender politic moments happen in  the oddest of places. When I was walking out of city hall after paying my water bill, I noticed a man coming toward the door. I smiled at him and stepped out of his way, holding the door open until he could take it from me. He frowned at me as he realized what was happening and looked a bit sheepish. When he got to the door, he didn't meet my eyes as he muttered 'thank you.' I told him to have a great day and walked to my car.

As much as men complain about women and their pesky liberation and their even more confusing 'holding the door' issues, I think we've reached a point where the confusion is about equal. Online, I read a lot of comments by men who wish for women to treat them the same as they wish to be treated, as in, hold the doors for them, that kind of thing. And, honestly, when it comes to doorholding, you should always err on the side of politeness. If someone is coming toward the door or has stuff in their hands or it is in anyway more convenient for you to hold it than them, do so.

I think we need to get past it being a gender thing. And while I know it's a weirdly hot button topic for a lot of people, it's also a nice, simple way to START getting past it as a gender thing.  Instead of holding the door open and looking at the other person as a man or a woman or even looking at yourself as a man or a woman, just view them as a human who needs the assist and you as a human who can provide it. Leave gender out of the equation and just be a person.

For me, holding the doors for people is a sign of growing strength. For a long time, about the best I could do while standing up was just to lumber from Point A to Point B. I really couldn't pay attention to what other people needed, even  the small things. As I've gotten more healthy, one of the privileges I feel I now have is being able to help other people out a little, even if it's just holding a door open. I can take part, as a human, with the other humans. That's pretty nice.