Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Growing Strong

A year ago today, I was still very weak. I was so weak I dreaded trying to face a shower. I was so weak I had to lay down to blowdry my hair. I was so weak I could only exercise by moving my wrists and ankles 40 times. Even doing that was enough to exhaust me. I was living with a kind of fatigue that humbled me in ways nothing else ever had.

Today, I had to go deal with something in Fort Smith. I woke up at five and drove myself there. I stayed for hours and didn't come home until around five that evening. Even after all of that, I still took my part of the trash out to the curb. I won't say it was easy. I didn't do today without any kind of strain. I am really tired, but I am not exhausted. I understand exhaustion now. I understand weakness.

I'm not healthy. I'm not someone who can handle the normal stuff. Not at this time, anyway. However, I am more healthy than I was this time last year. I'm more strong, more confident, and more brave. Interestingly, I'm not sure I would be those things had I not gone through what I went through last year. And I certainly didn't have the understanding of fatigue that I now have.

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