Annoyed

Someone posted this thing tonight and I think they were trying to be inspirational, but it justs strikes me as the kind of mentality that hurts a lot of disadvantaged people in this country.

Obesity is hard. Getting fit is hard. Choose your hard.

Being poor is hard. Working to be financially stable is hard. Choose your hard.

Fuck that. You think I chose this? You think if I had the mental control over my situation that I would WANT THIS? 

You think I chose pain? You think I chose to be constantly uncomfortable? You think I chose the continual worry about what will screw up next?  You think I chose to be dependent? You think I chose to be unable to just live my life as I wanted to or go where I wanted to or see the bands I wanted to? You think every single time one of these things comes up, I just shrug my shoulders and continue down the hellpath because I'm actively choosing to do so? 

I wake up every morning and pray I'll make the right choices. I spend my nights agonizing over every moment things went wrong and wondering what is broken inside me that made those things happen. 

I would rather be dead than be in my situation. I would rather be dead than deal with the pain and judgment and insecurity and captivity and HELL of this. I'm not choosing this. Stop assuming that I'm just happily continuing about my merry way enjoying this situation. I'm not. No one is. No one would choose this. 

And yet, it's the situation a lot of us are in. So tell me, did we choose this? You think people want this? You think we all started out with the same amount of money and the same bodies that would respond in the same ways? No, we did not. 

So shut the fuck up and be grateful you got better cards.