Pride

 I'm going to write this and when I write it, I don't want anyone thinking I'm trying to make you feel sorry for me. It isn't so much about it making me sad as it's just a strange fact of my life.

I don't think anyone has ever been proud of me. 

Or, at least, you know, I don't remember anyone telling me that. Maybe some friends have, but not like (that I can remember) the adult folks in my life who usually tell people that stuff. 

Admittedly, I've probably not done much to make people proud. My life path has been weird and usually bordering on disappointment. I've always been fat and that tends to taint a lot of people's opinions of you. The equation is like this. Accomplishment - fact that she's still fat = yeah, not encouraging you.

When I was a senior in high school, the night I came back from winning a state championship in Academic Bowl, my letter informing me I was a National Merit Scholar had arrived. It was seriously the best moment of accomplishment. I was completely alone in the house.

And really, it's okay. I'm not just saying that either. I'm proud of myself when I accomplish things. I'm proud of my videos and the stuff I make. I'm even proud of this blog. Egowise, I think I'm fine about it. 

It's just strange.