Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Not Paying your Rent

There is a saying that no matter how good you think you are, you are the villain in someone else's story. I'm realistic enough to know this is true. Sometimes I wonder how close the people are to me where I'm their villain. It's sad, but that's just the way it is.

I think it's safe to assume that for a lot of us, we're also the butt of some people's jokes. This one I've always been more aware of. When I was a Freshman in high school, some people made up a song about me being fat. I was so mortified by this, I switched schools. Guess what? The people at the second school made up a song about me too. It was a really, really dark time.

Most days, I'm cool with this. I just let it wash over me. As Ms. Charles often says, "Unless they payin your rent, pay them bitches no mind." Other days, when the mental walls are a little shaky, it's not as easy. 

What I always try to keep in mind is that I have been cruel to other people as well. That isn't a balancing point. It's to keep me humble. I am deeply ashamed of being cruel to others. It's honestly one of the things I have the most trouble with when it comes to self-forgiveness. 

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