Making your Happiness

 All of my life, I've been around 'until . . .' or 'when . . .' or 'if only . . .' people when it comes to happiness. These people use those phrases, and actually think those thoughts, when it comes to being happy. They think things will be better when THIS happens or if THAT would happen. Then they can be happy.

The most frustrating thing about said people is that it doesn't matter if those things happen or not. They were always still miserable. My grandmother, for instance, wanted to move to town all of my young life.....until she moved to town. Then she wanted to move back to the country. 

There are people who are completely unhappy if they're not doing something, but then completely unhappy when they go do that thing. They pick it apart. They focus on all the flaws. Nothing is ever enough for them. Nothing is ever satisfying for them. 

I know I can unleash my innermost demons on this blog sometimes. Sometimes I want to claw off my skin. However, I also know that happiness isn't some conditional thing that will happen WHEN a set of situations or stars or perfect numbers suddenly arrive for you. Happiness is something you have to work at, every day. Happiness and joy are things you have to find in what is around you. And yes, I realize that is a statement of privilege because yes some people are in seriously horrible situations. 

I'm not saying you should try to find happiness if you're being tortured. I'm saying you should try to find some happiness if your life is more or less decent and you're just feeding yourself on misery chemicals. 

The truth is. You won't be any happier if you move to that place or that person makes all the changes you want or you make all the changes you want or you get more money or you get to go to all of those places you resent not going to. None of that will make a difference unless you first train your brain to see the positive, enjoy the moments, and find contentment. Otherwise, even if all that stuff DID happen, you'd still just pick it apart and want something else.