A Plead for Unity

Today, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the health care bill commonly known as Obamacare is constitutional. For those who support the health care bill, this was a good day. For those who do not support it . . . not so much of a good day. People are fighting and arguing about the issue and will be from now on until . . . well, until we all get used to it and forget about it.

However, in the wake of all the reports and news flashes and everything else, I think there is a more important issue where we, as Americans can find unity. This is an issue that has recently become more and more prevalent in our society and culture, one that threatens the very foundation of how we define who we are and how others see us.

I'm talking about the ugly ass acronyms for various branches of our government.

Because space is a premium and many sources have only so many characters available to them, abbreviations are frequently used these days. And I will admit, 'Supreme Court of the United States' and 'President of the United States' take up a lot of space and characters.  In theory, I understand the wish for making this shorter.  However, SCOTUS and POTUS are just about the most horrible words ever.

Let us begin with POTUS. When I first saw this, I had no idea what it meant. Just looking at the word, and being from the area I am from, I assumed "Potus" was someone's hillbilly cousin. In my mind, I saw this guy with snaggly teeth,  many of which were missing, a mullet, dirty undershirt, and the kind of skinny jeans that only those with a deep dedication to their meth addiction and slip into. "That's my cousin Potus.  He had to leave the county because he fathered 17 children." "Potus got a job today . . . he was fired because be insisted on bringing his jug of moonshine with him." "No, I think Potus was driving the boat when it sank."

I assumed it was in all caps because Potus himself was in some kind of phase where he was new to the internet and to typing and viewed all caps as some kind of form or power.  Everyone just went along with it because otherwise he would sic his dogs on you.

Now, I ask you . . . is this the kind of mental image you want people to have when they think about the President of the United States? I didn't think so. STOP saying POTUS.

My mind refuses to even say SCOTUS correctly.  My mind translates this acronym, always, to "scrotum." Always. I have to reread whatever it just was to make sure I read it properly.  Almost every time, I haven't. I know I can't be the only person who is doing this. For those like me, this was what our evening was like:

"The scrotum rules 5 to 4."
"People shocked by the decision of the scrotum."
"Conservatives believe the scrotum has betrayed them."

As with POTUS, I tend to view the all caps as someone being really proud of their scrotum, praising its existence with a display of "big letters." I always assume this person is about 12 and deeply into the idea of genitalia. That's usually when that happens.

Again . . . is this the kind of thoughts you want people to have when they are thinking about the Supreme Court of the United States? We need some dignity here, people. We should be thinking about old people in black robes who argue with each other. No someone's dangling, lowhanging ballsack.

Like I said, I don't see this as a liberal issue, no a conservative one. I see it as an issue that caused confusion and embarrassment for all Americans. Let's put aside our differences for a while and fight against this plague of funtastic acronyms. Please.

For the sake of the childrens.