Getting Hurt

I am exercising more now and as I have mentioned before, every increase brings on sore muscles and protesting joints.  I still managed to walk though, because I know the pain will subside after a few days. When you're my size, every adjustment your body makes, even a positive one, causes a lot of discomfort. In this case, it's worth it.

This new 'being brave' thing is still so new to me that I'm having to do a lot of accessing. I'm coming across a lot of situations where I'm sticking my neck out just far enough that it could get cut. Again, the risk is worth it.  But there will be pain.

The thing is, one of the fundamental mistakes I've been making for a long time is that I've been afraid of that pain. I didn't want to face physical pain or injury, so I wouldn't work out. I didn't want to face the pain of rejection so I wouldn't try to push my talents. I didn't want to face the pain of failure, so I didn't try.

In all this effort to keep myself from hurting, I painted myself into a corner. I left myself with so few options that eventually I did practically lose everything. The error I made was in assuming that if I didn't try stuff, if I didn't take risks, I could keep from getting hurt.

I got hurt anyway. I suffered, I wept, I spent nights in hopelessness . . . and because I'd not risked anything in the process, I had nothing to show for it.

Slowly, inch by inch, this is beginning to change. I'm not quite to the point of living by the mantra 'Do Brave Things,' but I'm getting closer. Living in fear hasn't gotten me very far. I think it's time I started seeing what I can do if I try the bravery sometimes.

Will I get hurt, rejected, and see a lot of failure? Yes, of course I will. Then again, that Dyson dude failed to make that properly working vacuum like a million times before he perfected it. And now he makes a lot of money and gets to be smug on TV.