Some of my posts have been getting more reads than usual. *waves* Hi, new readers. Glad for you to join. I write about all kinds of random stuff. Anyway, I usually do this thing on Monday called Topic Control where I let someone choose what I'm going to discuss. Today, that shall be the Salem Witch Trials.
When I was younger, I would have stuck to the horrors of witch trials, the motivations behind them, and how deeply angry they make me. I could also reflect on how one of the reasons this subject always makes me angry is because I know I would have been one of the people on trial. They always put the loudmouthed women on trial, especially the ones who don't fit in with the normal people. My only consolation would be the fact that if it was a hanging, my fat ass would probably pull the whole scaffolding down. Hah!
I think what I want to talk about instead about is the fact that none of the girls who were doing the accusing stopped in the middle of this and put an end to it. None of them paused for a moment and said, "You know what? Goodwife Smyth really DIDN'T poison my cow with her mind. I made that shit up." They just kept on creating the stories.
Now, the question is, why did none of them try to stop this? Was it fear over what would happen to them if they admitted to their wrongdoing? Was it a power trip from being able to end so many people's lives? Was it deep evilness and pettiness caused by being in a society that emphasized sin and punishment? Was it truly just some kind of group insanity?
I think they were high. And I don't mean they were ingesting magic berries or something. I think they were intoxicated off of being part of a group with so much ability and power to cause change. These girls, as a group, were for a while, the most powerful and feared people in Salem. Belonging isn't some trivial need. It is a very strong human need, a need that can drive people to great lengths. People will debase themselves to belong. They will submit to rules and regulations. They will allow themselves to be tortured. They will kill.
This group of girls had probably received next to no attention all of their lives. They were, after all, just girls. They were expected to marry and have babies and tend to their families and that was all. Yet somehow, they found themselves as the center of attention. They were the core of the larger religious group. They were the defenders of the righteous and the messengers of God. That kind of power and belonging after a lifetime of having very little attention paid to you must have been astounding. Of course they would keep accusing more and more people. How else could they keep their spotlight.
The hardest thing any of them could have done would have been to break free from the hold that group dynamic had on them. It was the most important thing in their lives. Other people were dying because of it, but that mattered little compared to insuring the group and the group's power continued.
I think our current culture underestimates the power of the offer to belong. We tend to see ourselves as such individuals that we forget how powerful the Group concept is. We also forget how important inclusion can be.
It's kind of illogical that we do this, as we see the impact of Group all the time. Gangs won't sell each other out because of their loyalty to the group. People pay tons of money to go to sporting events so they can be part of the group of fans. Every year, at least some frat house gets in trouble because they were willing to go too far in how they treat their pledges. And these same pledges would do almost anything to be a part of that group.
The problem is, when you ignore the power of the group and the power of belonging, you lose a huge advantage in how you can communicate and persuade people. As the election is approaching, I'm seeing politicians making this mistake over and over. With a lot of them, the message seems to be "I am here to support THESE people. But not THESE people, because they suck and will never belong." When they do that, they will only get the support of the first group of people.
No one is going to vote for someone who doesn't include them.
So when you are in a place where you need to persuade someone, keep the need to belong in mind. Find common ground with them. Find the situations where you and this person connect. Be inviting. Be open. The more you make them feel emotionally comfortable, the more effective you will be.
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