Political Blahs

Today on Facebook, someone posted that everyone already know who they're going to vote for, so what is the point of waiting until November. It's just going to piss people off and allow them to defriend people. This is a good point, actually. I think everyone has already made up their mind that they will be a donkey, an elephant, or just abstain from the whole process. Or, you know, vote for one of those minor parties that no one talks about.

I think I could really get behind a candidate if they were being honest about stuff. You know, just kind of gave honest slogans for everything.

• Vote for me because having a political position is the only way I will ever get medical insurance.
• Vote for me. I probably won't fix anything, but I won't screw up anything either. In fact, I'll just sit at my seat and make sure nothing screws up.
• Vote for me because I'm totally insure and need to be validated by lots and lots of people.
• Vote for me because with my hair, this really the only job I'll ever be able to get.
• Do you dislike that other person who has this job? Then vote for me . . . I couldn't be worse than that dude.

Those are just some general ones for any politician out there. When it comes to the president, I think there are certain other things they could promise that I could completely support.

• If you vote for me, I vow to never interrupt TV on the nights when good shows are on. 
• If you vote for me, I promise to keep all speeches under five minutes. 
• Vote for me because I'll be entertaining like Clinton but not slutty like Clinton. 
• Vote for me and I promise not to let my ego get in the way of running the country.
• If you vote for me, I promise to not embarrass the country when I go to visit other places.  

I don't really think all of this is too much to ask, especially the TV one. There is nothing that will make me loathe a politician more than if they keep interrupting the  shows I actually want to see. No one wants to see their face every week. I know people like FDR's radio program, but that was RADIO. It's not like there were tons of choices at that point.

Anyway, I know that finding a politician who is logical, rational, and interested in staying out of my business is impossible. On the rare occasion that people like this actually run for office, they usually lose because they scare too many people. Instead, we're left with a collection of bobbleheads and blowhards who all make me rather uncomfortable.

I will be so glad when this is over.