Dealing with Exhaustion

We ran some errands today, went to my roommate's dentist appointment, and ate a late lunch. None of it was overly taxing on me, or rather, it shouldn't have been. Mostly my role in these events consisted of sitting, riding in the van, walking a little, and sitting some more. And yet, I am exhausted.

Even though I am doing more exercise now than I have in many, many years, I am still very exhausted most of the time. I know this is understandable. At one point during the first part of the year, I lost a lot of blood. I have been through a lot of surgeries. I had a significant portion of my reproductive system removed. There have been sleepless nights, hormonal upheavals, and lots of taking off my clothes in front of strangers.

Exhaustion though, especially in combination with depression, can be quite a battle. Five minutes of peddling on the stationary peddler (which is not so stationary) and I feel like I could die at any moment. I fold some towels and I consider myself quite accomplished. Loading the pop into the slots in the fridge feels like a victory.  I have to talk myself into walking. I have to talk myself into doing my daily tasks.

I think physical exhaustion is probably the most difficult to deal with when it comes to dealing with other people. Many who suffer from exhaustion have to do so while being around people who act like they are faking it.  One of the many ways I have been blessed through this situation is that I am living with someone who understands exhaustion all too well himself. He knows what it can do to someone. He knows how hard it can be. He has been very understanding about this.

If you are someone who is lucky enough to have never experienced long term physical (and mental and emotional) exhaustion, I would encourage you not to dismiss it in others. When you're young and healthy, it is so easy to assume you will always feel that way. Sure, you may get tired, but after a few hours of sleep, you'll bounce back. That is NOT what exhaustion is. Exhaustion is not cured by sleep. In fact, sometimes sleeping makes you even more tired, especially if you ill.

All I can tell you about how to get past this is what I'm trying to do. I keep moving. I keep fluids in my body. I try my best to get enough sleep. Hopefully, this will work. I mean, it hasn't so far, but, you know, maybe in a year or two.