Today I talked to an old friend who has also experienced the unique crapfest that is turning 40 and finding out you have cancer. Hers was in a different place and she had to have another type of surgery, but the general situation was the same. Turn 40. Get cancer. Suddenly, the facts about your life have changed. Suddenly, you're missing body parts and filled with a long list of 'what if's.' Turning 40 is supposed to be emotionally rough on people, not physically traumatic.
You know, when you have some illness happen to you, it is bad, but in a way, you can assume it's just you. It's just this thing that happened out of sequence and should have happened years from now. But when it starts happening to other people around you, people your own age, you have to face up to the idea that it isn't just a fluke. You are now at the age when this is part of your reality. It's like when everyone got driver's licences at 16 . . . only with more fear and needles. This is what happens now. And that sucks.
It was good to talk to her though. We talked about the process of life after surgery. We talked about being bored in the hospital and how in some weird way, the worst, most awful reality shows are very comforting when you're in this kind of situation. One of the best things that happened after the lipoma removal was that my best friend put the TV on Real Housewives. It's easy to ignore your pain and fear when you're watching a bunch of rich women argue about how to start a fire.
So this is what I learned this weekend. We're all getting old and death is closer to kicking us in the teeth . . . and really bad reality shows have a purpose. Is this the wisdom of old age? I hope not. It probably is though.
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