You're Not Cute . . . and That's Okay

I think on a daily basis I see things about how people need to stop being so sensitive. People complain, with so much vitriol, about how everyone is so easily offended and people need to lighten up. If they have allies, they will all swarm down on whatever person commented they were offended and attack and attack. They talk about how free speech is being violated and everyone is just so easily hurt.

I always wonder if they are including themselves in that.

This is the truth of the matter. We have a lot of people who are easily offended by things. We have a greater number of people who are even more easily offended by the fact that people are offended. And this second group seems to take things to the most extreme place they can. Just the idea that someone doesn't like what they have to say (or what they wrote or drew) sends them into this tizzy of anger and defensiveness. It's actually becoming a far larger problem than people being offended in the first place.

I do get it. When I was younger, I would be upset when people were offended by whatever (admittedly offensive) thing I'd done/written/drawn. I had a wall in my college rent house covered in hand-drawn cartoon orgy scenes. I had a billboard of male cartoon characters in women's underwear. If someone expressed negative comments about it (or any of the other stuff I was doing), I would get angry. What I didn't realize at the time was my anger was misplaced. This was just me not being mature enough to handle social rejection. As I matured, it became easier to be objective about the whole thing.

Because at the end of the day, the art I produce and the writing I do DOES offend certain people. And that's completely fine. It isn't to everyone's taste and quite frankly, I'd be a little bit disturbed if it was. I think most of us know that the offensive stuff we say is offensive. I also think that some of us have gotten away with saying it because we think we're cute enough or charming enough not to be called out on it. There will always be times when we are, though. Not everyone is going to think you're cute. Not everyone is going to think you're charming. Not everyone is going to overlook what you just said/wrote/did. And it's fine if they don't.

I will never tell someone not to be offensive. That is your choice to make What I will tell you is that there are always consequences to it. Being offensive may cost you friends, lovers, jobs, and invitations to be around people. Just as you have the right to say (write/draw/etc) whatever you like, other people have the right to reject it. Screaming at them or attacking them won't change their minds. It just makes you look like an oversensitive jackass.

The best thing to do if someone doesn't like your offerings is just to move on. Don't get emotional about it. Other people will enjoy it. Sometimes it takes a while to find those people, but when you do, it's a grand thing. As for everyone else, live and let live.