All Your Heroes

When I joined Facebook, like most people I looked up some musicians and writers that I love and followed their pages. Normally, these pages are mostly of a professional/fan service nature. I think Amanda Palmer is a good example of both. She talks about all of her projects and the works she has going on. Sometimes she posts things she would like people to read for social reasons. She does talk about her life, but in a way that is still within the bounds of a professional discussing things with her fans.

One of the people I follow is Sinead O'Connor. When I first started following her FB, it was great. She would talk about her musical influences. She would discuss things she liked to read, philosophies she was exploring. Sometimes she would talk about her music. One time, and I think I even blogged about this, she wrote joyfully about a Kate Bush song she'd fell in love with. It was a really great moment to see someone I am a fan of being a fan of someone else I am a fan of.

Sinead has mental problems, fairly diagnosed ones. She also recently had a hysterectomy, and I know all too well how much this can whack with your emotions. She's also in kind of a slippery place as a famous person. She is famous enough to have a huge following, but not really famous enough anymore to have any kind of PR person. So when she gets mentally or emotionally bad, she writes about it for the whole world to see.

Yesterday, things got bad. I'm not going to go into details because even though she wrote about them, I still feel they're private. I will say it was painful to read. And the internet being what it is, while some people were sympathetic, others were cruel. For hours, she wrote things and posted things that should never, EVER go on Facebook. I felt horrible for her because I know when she's in a better state, she'll regret making her pain so public.

I found out a little while ago that later last night, she tried to kill herself. She left a suicide note on FB because she felt it was the only place her family ever checked on her. Her fans contacted authorities to find her. They did and hopefully she'll receive some kind of care.

This isn't about me, at all. I still have a lot of emotions about it though. This is a singer that I love. Someone who wrote that helped me to process a lot of the really painful and disappointing things that happened to me as a teen. I just want her to be okay. I want her to be safe and get some help.