[This post was supposed to go up last night but the internet died, so it didn't.]
I got the notice for renewing the average on the electric bill today. It's going up some, but not a whole lot. I was grateful the increase was so small. Admittedly, I was also a little shocked. There had been many months where it was higher than it was last year and I expected the increase to be higher. It's awesome that it wasn't.
This was about the best news that happened today. I'm in a pretty grey area emotionally. I found out that this may be a PCOS thing. New studies are showing that the mental illness issues associated with PCOS may form from hormonal imbalances in the womb. Baby, I was born this way. Joy. That means there are aspects of this I may never be able to move past.
I have to admit that when I read this today, my heart kind of sunk. It's one thing when it's something I can do something about. It's another thing when it started before I was even born. It's like I didn't even have a chance, you know? For the rest of the day, I was just in a dark place. Every little obstacle that I can usually blow off just ripped me up a little today. Even this post is one of those obstacles. I'm writing it on WordPad because my internet died. I knew I needed to talk about this, though. I needed to document the day I felt so defeated.
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