Not Temporary

“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”

The above quote doesn't get a citation because it's somewhat disputed as to who actually said it. It is, however, at the root of what I want to talk about today. And no, we're not talking about socialism. We're talking about the damage that can happen when we view our situations as temporary.

My roommate and I were talking about activism today and how frustrated we get when activists focus on issues that really can't or won't be changed. The example he brought up was how certain communities who have high HIV rates will ignore that (even though activism when applied to dealing with HIV has proven to be quite helpful) and instead look at fluff issues that really don't affect anyone's lives.

The discussion eventually turned to fat activism (or factivism, as I like to call it). This is a new thing, really. Fat people are beginning to talk about the issues of being fat and how we'd all like to not be treated like hell just because we are fat. It's complicated, of course, but at the core of the issue, it's also important. There are so many places in my life where my being fat causes problems because society isn't accepting or welcoming of fat people.

This gets really frustrating when it comes to places where fat people SHOULD be welcomed. A few months back, I went to a bbq place where the tables were so close together I had to move a couple of them to even navigate myself to the table. The chairs were narrow and very uncomfortable. It annoyed me, not just for me, but also because this is bad for business. A lot of fat people like bbq. Make a place that is comfortable for them.

Businesses like that are nowhere near as frustrating as doctor's offices. There are scales that go up to 1000 lbs. There are chairs and tables that hold people who are larger. There are larger blood pressure cuffs. And yet, so many doctor's offices don't use them. Why? We know we have a high population of obese people. Why not have equipment you can use on  them? Why not have chairs that can hold them comfortably? Or at least, please have chairs with no arms. Even THAT is better than nothing.

You would think with as many obese people as we have in  this country, it would be obvious that we would have thing suited for their needs. We don't, though. At least, not that many. And the quote I gave above is exactly why. Fat people look at their situation as temporary. They believe they are well on their way to being a non-fat person and then the world will fit them too. They believe this even if they have hundreds of lbs to lose. They believe this even if they have been fat all of their lives.

Why? Because instead of being taught to deal with our current reality and work to make the best of it, we're taught that all the bad stuff is temporary and if we ignore it and just try to change the cause of the bad thing, we'll be okay. It's a nice theory, but it's also magical thinking.

You have no way of knowing if you will ever get out of your situation. You may always be fat. You may always be poor. You may always be disabled. You may always be single or childless or whatever other situation you see as undesirable. And yes, you can work towards changing that situation, but in the meantime, you are STILL IN IT. So what can you do to improve it?

To use a pretty basic example . . . I need a new bed. My bed is old and lumpy and there are some places where things poke out. This situation will go completely away when I get a new bed. Thing is, new beds are expensive. So yes, I can set up a little fund and label it 'new bed' and toss cash in there when I get some, but that will take a while. And emergencies happen, so it's possible it may never happen. In the meantime, I still have to sleep in this bed.

To that end, I flipped the mattress and requested a higher quality mattress pad for Christmas. If things get worse, I can always duct tape down the poking out parts and put some old blankets down as an extra layer of protection. By addressing the current situation (instead of just hoping it will go away), I am able to find ways to make it as comfortable and easy on me as possible. My life is improved.

There are people out there who believe that making the bad situation more comfortable is wrong. They think if you ease the suffering of the poor (or fat, etc), then these people will be tempted to NEVER get out of their situations at all. They'll find contentment and just stop trying to improve. Is this possible? Oh yeah. It happens, sure. I don't think that's a good enough justification for not doing it though. To my mind,  this is just as stupid as when Gramma would buy me clothes that were too small to 'encourage' me to lose weight. It neither helped me to lose weight nor addressed my current need for clothing.

Trust me. Getting clothes that fit me does not encourage me to stay overweight. In fact, when I'm in clothes that fit well, I'm more comfortable and more likely to move around. When people have their needs met, they're more likely to actually find their way out of their bad situation. This makes sense. Being uncomfortable is exhausting.