It wasn't until just a little while ago that I realized I never posted my continuation of the September Box. The thing is, I don't think I'm going to. To be honest, I wasn't that impressed with the other selections. Or hell, maybe I was or I would have been if I wasn't so depressed. It's frustrating when the depression hits me like this when I'm taking my meds, making good decisions, and lacking in serious drama.
Of course, none of that really matters when it comes to my depression. Even the meds don't help me that much. They're more for the anxiety side of my issue. And the rest of it, well, it really doesn't matter what you're doing. This is chemical. Though, I think it's also about exhaustion.
On the day to day, I'm happy. I laugh. I engage people. I am content and experience moments of peace and being proud of myself. This isn't that kind of issue. This is a deeper kind of depression. The kind that keeps part of your spirit bound down. It's the kind that removes the sparkle from the moments that should sparkle. It's the kind that keeps you from recharging.
September was hard. It was hot and I was in pain. My roommate was in pain. The cat was uncomfortable. Some unexpected changes cropped up to cause us worry. In a normal year, I'd probably be okay. But this isn't a normal year. I've lost my babycats and that has changed everything.
Hopefully, October will be better.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Friday, September 29, 2017
September Box Hair and Skin Care
Wow. It's really taken me a long time to get around to doing this. Between my box arriving late and the heat making me too annoyed to mess with it, I've just about run out of days in September to talk about the box. It's okay though. The way things wound up, I really only have about two days' worth of posting anyway.
The first sample was ALGENIST POWER Recharging Night Pressed Serum and normally it costs 95 dollars. With that in mind, this stuff should work wonders. It smells really good and I enjoy the idea of it. It feels good when it goes on my skin, but I by no means look younger yet. Mind you, it's not been ten days. It says it takes that long to see results. I'm not really expecting much. I look at it this way . . . if they developed some product that really made people look that much better, it would be shouted from the rooftops. The serum makes my skin feel nice. I doubt it will ever make me look younger.
My next skin care product is BELIF The True Cream Aqua Bomb and it's a far more reasonable 22$. This moisturizer is one of those products that people use in a lot of ways. Some people use it just to prevent the daily drying of the skin. Other people use it as a primer. Others put a thick layer on and use it as an overnight mask. I have a CPAP mask so that last one would not work for me. However, I have enjoyed it as a way to just wake my skin up during the day. It tingles a little and has a rather refreshing feel to it. Is it the best skin product I've gotten? No, and I certainly wouldn't use it as a primer. It's nice though.
Instead of sending a perfume sample this time, I was given a small duo packet of stuff for my hair. It was IGK Hot Girls Hydrating Shampoo and Conditioner. Both sell for 25 dollars. Now one thing I didn't like about this product was the packaging, which was both difficult to handle and sharp on the edges. Now if this was going to be opened when someone had easy access to scissors, that would be one thing, but most people are going to open shampoo and conditioner samples while in the shower, with wet hands. That always needs to be considered.
As for the products themselves, I liked the subtlety of scent. Both products were thicker than normal and left my hair with that feeling it has when it's washed in water that's too hard. I thought it did a nice job on my hair, but when I was reading comments, I noticed that anyone with longer hair complained about it tangling and causing a lot of problems. So perhaps it's a better product for people with shorter cuts.
Of the three, I like the Aqua Bomb the best. Now mind you, if I do look 15 by the end of ten days, I will certainly change my mind about that. I just don't believe that will be happening.
The first sample was ALGENIST POWER Recharging Night Pressed Serum and normally it costs 95 dollars. With that in mind, this stuff should work wonders. It smells really good and I enjoy the idea of it. It feels good when it goes on my skin, but I by no means look younger yet. Mind you, it's not been ten days. It says it takes that long to see results. I'm not really expecting much. I look at it this way . . . if they developed some product that really made people look that much better, it would be shouted from the rooftops. The serum makes my skin feel nice. I doubt it will ever make me look younger.
My next skin care product is BELIF The True Cream Aqua Bomb and it's a far more reasonable 22$. This moisturizer is one of those products that people use in a lot of ways. Some people use it just to prevent the daily drying of the skin. Other people use it as a primer. Others put a thick layer on and use it as an overnight mask. I have a CPAP mask so that last one would not work for me. However, I have enjoyed it as a way to just wake my skin up during the day. It tingles a little and has a rather refreshing feel to it. Is it the best skin product I've gotten? No, and I certainly wouldn't use it as a primer. It's nice though.
Instead of sending a perfume sample this time, I was given a small duo packet of stuff for my hair. It was IGK Hot Girls Hydrating Shampoo and Conditioner. Both sell for 25 dollars. Now one thing I didn't like about this product was the packaging, which was both difficult to handle and sharp on the edges. Now if this was going to be opened when someone had easy access to scissors, that would be one thing, but most people are going to open shampoo and conditioner samples while in the shower, with wet hands. That always needs to be considered.
As for the products themselves, I liked the subtlety of scent. Both products were thicker than normal and left my hair with that feeling it has when it's washed in water that's too hard. I thought it did a nice job on my hair, but when I was reading comments, I noticed that anyone with longer hair complained about it tangling and causing a lot of problems. So perhaps it's a better product for people with shorter cuts.
Of the three, I like the Aqua Bomb the best. Now mind you, if I do look 15 by the end of ten days, I will certainly change my mind about that. I just don't believe that will be happening.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Tired
Despite me still having hot flashes today, the weather has cooled down. I mean, I didn't really notice that much because my body decided I would be warm anyway, but my roommate assures me that it happened. Hopefully, this will result in me sleeping better, which has not been a thing that has happened in a while. If I am lucky, I might even sleep through the night.
Beyond just the physical exhaustion, it seems like everyone is emotionally spent. I think we're all just too damned tired to function anymore. The election. All the constant conflict. All the rhetoric and anger and bullshit is just wearing everyone out. The world, collectively, needs a break.
Beyond just the physical exhaustion, it seems like everyone is emotionally spent. I think we're all just too damned tired to function anymore. The election. All the constant conflict. All the rhetoric and anger and bullshit is just wearing everyone out. The world, collectively, needs a break.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Female Trouble
In the recent uptick of hot weather, I've been unusually miserable. It's because I've been having hot flashes at the same time. The hot flashes were subtle enough that I thought it was just a higher than usual intolerance of the heat. Hot flashes also explain why I've had so much nausea as well. I'm annoyed by this because I thought they'd gone away for good. I'm very consistent with my meds to control them, but I guess that isn't always 100%.
Hot flashes are one of those experiences that you just don't understand until one is happening to you. They suck so much worse than I imagined they would. When they're happening, you absolutely cannot ignore them. It's just awful.
Hopefully, this upswing in female trouble will go away soon.
Hot flashes are one of those experiences that you just don't understand until one is happening to you. They suck so much worse than I imagined they would. When they're happening, you absolutely cannot ignore them. It's just awful.
Hopefully, this upswing in female trouble will go away soon.
Monday, September 25, 2017
Unintended Sparkle
After the whole drama with the internet, my roommate left a complaint on their Facebook page. He's quite good with his words and a master of expressing his bitterness with companies like this, especially this one, because if they can't provide their basic service, what good are they?
Anyway, he told me he ended it by telling them congratulations for being awful or something like that. Later when he looked at the post, he noticed the word 'congratulations' was in red and highlighted. When he hit on it, it shot off virtual confetti and balloons.
Hahahahahahahahahahah!
This has pleased me to no end. I'd seen that little feature on FB used for sincere congrats when people had babies or whatever but used with sarcasm, it's just utterly brilliant. From now on, when I sarcastically congratulate someone for something, I'm going to fully say "Congratulations! Confetti! BALLOOOONS!" It's just so much better.
Anyway, he told me he ended it by telling them congratulations for being awful or something like that. Later when he looked at the post, he noticed the word 'congratulations' was in red and highlighted. When he hit on it, it shot off virtual confetti and balloons.
Hahahahahahahahahahah!
This has pleased me to no end. I'd seen that little feature on FB used for sincere congrats when people had babies or whatever but used with sarcasm, it's just utterly brilliant. From now on, when I sarcastically congratulate someone for something, I'm going to fully say "Congratulations! Confetti! BALLOOOONS!" It's just so much better.
Teenaged Mad Max Ninja Turtles
I've been watching Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles for years. I started watching it with my brother when he was a kid. It was amusing then and in its various incarnations, I've always continued to love the story. Even if, yeah, sometimes it repeats story arcs.
This latest version of the show has been hit and miss. It was never bad, though sometimes it was just meh. There were some decisions they made about the nature of the turtles and Splinter that my roommate and I have often times discussed the value of doing. Some of the episodes have been filler and that's been annoying. Some of the motivations have been lacking. The thing is, when this version has been good, it has been VERY good.
The last three episodes (shown altogether as a kind of minimovie) are a great example of this. It was a kind of What If story. The world has been hit by a mutagen bomb and everything is basically Mad Max now. The story explores how this would affect each turtle and does so in a way that I felt was true to their characters. When the bomb hit, Leo sacrificed himself to save his brothers and therefore felt the greatest impact of the mutations. Donnie died but transferred his consciousness into a robot. Mickie became a crazy wiseman and Raf became our Mad Maxlike pov character.
All of the right Mad Max elements were there, including a Thunderdome battle. The story had all levels of conflict ( vs. nature, vs. others, vs. self), all of which were resolved to a satisfying climax. In the end, our heroes get what they wanted, in some cases even more than they wanted. It was just glorious.
I love it when television gets it right.
This latest version of the show has been hit and miss. It was never bad, though sometimes it was just meh. There were some decisions they made about the nature of the turtles and Splinter that my roommate and I have often times discussed the value of doing. Some of the episodes have been filler and that's been annoying. Some of the motivations have been lacking. The thing is, when this version has been good, it has been VERY good.
The last three episodes (shown altogether as a kind of minimovie) are a great example of this. It was a kind of What If story. The world has been hit by a mutagen bomb and everything is basically Mad Max now. The story explores how this would affect each turtle and does so in a way that I felt was true to their characters. When the bomb hit, Leo sacrificed himself to save his brothers and therefore felt the greatest impact of the mutations. Donnie died but transferred his consciousness into a robot. Mickie became a crazy wiseman and Raf became our Mad Maxlike pov character.
All of the right Mad Max elements were there, including a Thunderdome battle. The story had all levels of conflict ( vs. nature, vs. others, vs. self), all of which were resolved to a satisfying climax. In the end, our heroes get what they wanted, in some cases even more than they wanted. It was just glorious.
I love it when television gets it right.
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Sour Sassy
I need to post about my makeup, but I'm thinking about waiting to do that until the weather breaks. It's been so miserable the last several days that I've been in too sour of a mood to even CARE about that kind of thing. Honestly, it isn't just my mood. I've been in pain. Both my roommate and I have been in a lot of damned pain for the last week. This needs to end. I mean, seriously, there is only so long my body can endure summer weather.
Because of that, I mostly had the Sit and Stares today. Weather like this is something you just get through as best you can. After a while, you start to wonder how much you have left in you. Trust me. It isn't much.
This is not entertaining weather. I need my cool Fall back.
Because of that, I mostly had the Sit and Stares today. Weather like this is something you just get through as best you can. After a while, you start to wonder how much you have left in you. Trust me. It isn't much.
This is not entertaining weather. I need my cool Fall back.
Friday, September 22, 2017
Internet Drama
My morning wasn't bad. I was in pain but I was coping. I knew I didn't have to do much and past that I could just enjoy my day. We went shopping. We came home. We had lunch. I took a nap.
Then my roommate tells me the internet is out. It was also hot as hell in the house too. We decided that, despite both of us being in pain, we'd go into town and waste a few hours to see if things would level out at the house.
They didn't. The net didn't come back on until ten. It's still pretty uncomfortably hot. My urge to kill is leaving me, but it's still there. Bah.
Then my roommate tells me the internet is out. It was also hot as hell in the house too. We decided that, despite both of us being in pain, we'd go into town and waste a few hours to see if things would level out at the house.
They didn't. The net didn't come back on until ten. It's still pretty uncomfortably hot. My urge to kill is leaving me, but it's still there. Bah.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Sleep Drama
Possibly the only thing worse than having to be up by five and trying to sleep in a hot, humid house is having to be up by five, sleeping in a hot, humid house, and waking up at 2AM with a hot flash. It was one of the worst ones I've had in a while. Not only was it in my hands, it was in my head and belly as well. By the time it was over, I was exhausted. Unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of exhaustion that sends you back into sleep. That would have been kind of impossible anyway, seeing as my sheets were completely soaked by this point. Hot flash, night sweats, nausea. It's the trifecta of menopause hell.
I'd love to say my day got better but it didn't. I feel like I've been beaten by soap in a sock. The only good thing is that I can sleep later in the morning so I don't have to drag my ass to bed so early. The later I can stay up, the cooler it will be. The cooler it is, the better chance I have of actually sleeping for a while.
This should not be happening in September.
I'd love to say my day got better but it didn't. I feel like I've been beaten by soap in a sock. The only good thing is that I can sleep later in the morning so I don't have to drag my ass to bed so early. The later I can stay up, the cooler it will be. The cooler it is, the better chance I have of actually sleeping for a while.
This should not be happening in September.
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
Humor Drama
My hometown came in sixth on a list of the most white trash towns in Oklahoma. I thought this was funny as hell and reposted it on Facebook. The post was very public so everyone, including friends of friends, got to see it. My conservative family members' friends didn't seem to like the post that much. One of them even commented that it was racist.
Normally I would let this kind of thing slide because I try my best not to argue with people on Facebook, however, in this case, I just couldn't. White trash is not a racist term. It's a term that describes a culture of people, often even used BY that culture of people. Racism implies that the labeling would cause them some kind of hardship in their lives and it really doesn't. This was my comment.
Totally not racist. No one is doing anything to harm the white trash. Being White Trash doesn't stop them from renting trailers. No one will refuse their loans from the quickie loan place or question 'my girlfriend's mama's miCROwave' as collateral. When they go to the local pill doctor and claim they got a back injury while 'wrastlin that damn nayber dawg off mah dawg Elvis' they will receive their quota of oxy pills. When they get stopped by the cops for going 80 in a 25, the cop merely exchanges fishing stories with them while writing them out a warning for the speeding, the open container, and the fact that their 'wittrsh' license plate is expired.
Someone past this commented that I was being ridiculous and clearly they do not live in this area. Any and all of these things can happen, though the ability to obtain a loan with a microwave not owned by you is based completely on your level of charm. The thing is, most white trash people are oddly charming.
Anyway the whole thing was meant in good humor. Some people don't seem to get that. Maybe they'll get tickled by Twizzlers or something. That seems to make people smile.
Normally I would let this kind of thing slide because I try my best not to argue with people on Facebook, however, in this case, I just couldn't. White trash is not a racist term. It's a term that describes a culture of people, often even used BY that culture of people. Racism implies that the labeling would cause them some kind of hardship in their lives and it really doesn't. This was my comment.
Totally not racist. No one is doing anything to harm the white trash. Being White Trash doesn't stop them from renting trailers. No one will refuse their loans from the quickie loan place or question 'my girlfriend's mama's miCROwave' as collateral. When they go to the local pill doctor and claim they got a back injury while 'wrastlin that damn nayber dawg off mah dawg Elvis' they will receive their quota of oxy pills. When they get stopped by the cops for going 80 in a 25, the cop merely exchanges fishing stories with them while writing them out a warning for the speeding, the open container, and the fact that their 'wittrsh' license plate is expired.
Someone past this commented that I was being ridiculous and clearly they do not live in this area. Any and all of these things can happen, though the ability to obtain a loan with a microwave not owned by you is based completely on your level of charm. The thing is, most white trash people are oddly charming.
Anyway the whole thing was meant in good humor. Some people don't seem to get that. Maybe they'll get tickled by Twizzlers or something. That seems to make people smile.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Weather Drama
It's back to being hot and humid. I'm sick to my stomach, nauseous, and dizzy. Today was miserable. For once, I'm glad my Old Lady Pain Cream smells like mint (and old lady) so that I could breathe it in and try to calm down the nausea. By the way, if you've never tried that trick, give it a shot. Smelling mint may not work for everyone, but it certainly makes my nausea subside enough to where I can function.
Aside from that mess, it really wasn't a bad day.
Aside from that mess, it really wasn't a bad day.
Monday, September 18, 2017
Car Drama
I woke up early this morning, showered, and took the car to the auto shop. When we got the oil changed on Friday, they said my passengers side back tire was almost flat. Mind you, it's been a long time since I had air put in the tires and we've gone through a lot of temperature shifts, still, I worry that there is something in the tire making it lose air. With that in mind, I took it by today. They said the air pressure in all four tires was where it was supposed to be.
This was a relief, somewhat. In all honesty, I would have rather been told the tire was screwed up so I could just have it replaced. Now it's a waiting game where I take it in next week and have it checked, then we see from there. I hate being tethered to that kind of thing, but I'm not really seeing where I have a choice in the matter.
I also need to get my windshield fixed. When we had the oil change done, Ol Girl who checked us in gave us some recommendations about who to use for that. It's going to be expensive, but the crack on the windshield is so extensive now that I don't really feel we can put it off for a lot longer.
Car work always makes me nervous. I once read an article that talked about how car issues that are annoying for people with money can be devastating for poor people and this is very true. Every time the car has to go to the shop, even for an oil change, I always dread it because there's the possibility that something massive could be lurking and I'll have to scramble to find a way to pay for it.
The windshield thing, while expensive, would usually be pretty straightforward, but I have a sensor box on mine and I'm worried about how that will be affected by changing it out. I shouldn't worry about it because logically any company who does this for a living has probably changed windshields with these boxes on them before, but the fear of the unknown is eating at me.
I shall be happy when the car drama is finished.
This was a relief, somewhat. In all honesty, I would have rather been told the tire was screwed up so I could just have it replaced. Now it's a waiting game where I take it in next week and have it checked, then we see from there. I hate being tethered to that kind of thing, but I'm not really seeing where I have a choice in the matter.
I also need to get my windshield fixed. When we had the oil change done, Ol Girl who checked us in gave us some recommendations about who to use for that. It's going to be expensive, but the crack on the windshield is so extensive now that I don't really feel we can put it off for a lot longer.
Car work always makes me nervous. I once read an article that talked about how car issues that are annoying for people with money can be devastating for poor people and this is very true. Every time the car has to go to the shop, even for an oil change, I always dread it because there's the possibility that something massive could be lurking and I'll have to scramble to find a way to pay for it.
The windshield thing, while expensive, would usually be pretty straightforward, but I have a sensor box on mine and I'm worried about how that will be affected by changing it out. I shouldn't worry about it because logically any company who does this for a living has probably changed windshields with these boxes on them before, but the fear of the unknown is eating at me.
I shall be happy when the car drama is finished.
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Even When it Hurts
I watched the 4th season of BoJack Horseman this weekend and am quite pleased with it. It remains one of the best shows around as this season did not disappoint. Along with tackling the usual topics of Hollywood, addiction, adult disappointment, and relationships, this season explored running for politics, miscarriage, asexuality, and way in which people can be more than they seem.
When I started watching this show, I thought it was wickedly funny, but kind of got swept away by how intensely sad it would be by the end of the first season. Our two main characters, BoJack Horseman, a washed up addict who used to be a famous sitcom star and Diane Nguyen, a writer who struggles with various levels of success and failure, are equal parts inspiring, sincere, frustrating, and selfish. They're both unhappy and damaged, sometimes trying their best and usually failing miserably. They fear failure and success. They hate the idea of being alone and hate being with someone. I see myself in both of them.
For instance, there's one scene where BoJack admits to the girl he thinks is his daughter that he lied to her about knowing who her mother is. Then he admits that he lied and says he won't lie anymore, only to lie within the next few minutes and admit to the lie again. And again. He honestly doesn't even know why he keeps lying to her, though as the audience, we're aware that his parents both used the truth as a way of torturing him because they never filtered out any of the darkness that came to their minds.
BoJack's mother features heavily in the season. We learn a lot about her, both through flashbacks and an episode told from her point of view as a person with dementia, one of the more experimental episodes as it explores the ideas of images in the head of a person without complete memories. This exploration of her mind brings about the resolution of the season's main plot and adds understanding (if not really resolution) to one of the key themes of the show overall. We know why BoJack's mother is such a bitch, not that it makes it hurt any less.
As much as this show can frustrate and hurt me, I always leave it feeling so much sympathy for the characters. Very few issues ever have a happy ending. Most have, at best, a path to move on from after the dreams and goals have been chased and lost. That's life though. We move on, even when it hurts.
When I started watching this show, I thought it was wickedly funny, but kind of got swept away by how intensely sad it would be by the end of the first season. Our two main characters, BoJack Horseman, a washed up addict who used to be a famous sitcom star and Diane Nguyen, a writer who struggles with various levels of success and failure, are equal parts inspiring, sincere, frustrating, and selfish. They're both unhappy and damaged, sometimes trying their best and usually failing miserably. They fear failure and success. They hate the idea of being alone and hate being with someone. I see myself in both of them.
For instance, there's one scene where BoJack admits to the girl he thinks is his daughter that he lied to her about knowing who her mother is. Then he admits that he lied and says he won't lie anymore, only to lie within the next few minutes and admit to the lie again. And again. He honestly doesn't even know why he keeps lying to her, though as the audience, we're aware that his parents both used the truth as a way of torturing him because they never filtered out any of the darkness that came to their minds.
BoJack's mother features heavily in the season. We learn a lot about her, both through flashbacks and an episode told from her point of view as a person with dementia, one of the more experimental episodes as it explores the ideas of images in the head of a person without complete memories. This exploration of her mind brings about the resolution of the season's main plot and adds understanding (if not really resolution) to one of the key themes of the show overall. We know why BoJack's mother is such a bitch, not that it makes it hurt any less.
As much as this show can frustrate and hurt me, I always leave it feeling so much sympathy for the characters. Very few issues ever have a happy ending. Most have, at best, a path to move on from after the dreams and goals have been chased and lost. That's life though. We move on, even when it hurts.
Saturday, September 16, 2017
Slide
So my roommate found me a different keyboard. It had been stashed away in the back since arriving in our lives with one of the last computers we purchased. It's sturdy enough, but the stupid thing is slick. Every time I move it too fast, it slides off the desk and into the floor. This isn't the best start for my relationship with a new keyboard.
I tried winding yarn around it. I thought maybe the yarn would provide enough resistance to stop the slide. It didn't. I tried using a large paper holder on it but that didn't work either because there was no real place to connect it without covering keys. I'm sure I'll think of something, but so far everything else I've considered just didn't even seem worth trying.
Until then, we may keep sliding.
I tried winding yarn around it. I thought maybe the yarn would provide enough resistance to stop the slide. It didn't. I tried using a large paper holder on it but that didn't work either because there was no real place to connect it without covering keys. I'm sure I'll think of something, but so far everything else I've considered just didn't even seem worth trying.
Until then, we may keep sliding.
Friday, September 15, 2017
Almost Flat Friday
We got the oil changed today and they told us one of the tires was almost flat. Given that I was in Fort Smith the other day, I'm lucky I didn't end up having to call a tow truck. We'll see if the air holds over the weekend. If not, on Monday Blair will be getting her first new tire since I got her. I'm trying not to let myself worry about this. It's an expense and not the only one I'll have with her this Fall. She needs her front windshield replaced because the crack that was large is now the crack that is very large.
On another irritating note, it got warm again. I was all mentally prepared to let Fall roll on in and here I sit with all the fans on. This isn't how I wanted to spend my weekend. I was enjoying the peace of no fans. Unfortunately, we're going to be in the 90s for the next several days. I guess I should have just been more grateful for the cooler weather I was getting.
My keys keep sticking. I think it's time to get a new keyboard.
On another irritating note, it got warm again. I was all mentally prepared to let Fall roll on in and here I sit with all the fans on. This isn't how I wanted to spend my weekend. I was enjoying the peace of no fans. Unfortunately, we're going to be in the 90s for the next several days. I guess I should have just been more grateful for the cooler weather I was getting.
My keys keep sticking. I think it's time to get a new keyboard.
Thursday, September 14, 2017
More Ouch
This won't be a long post. I played with a child today and the child won because I'm old. Because of this, my elbows hurt and it's making typing a process that isn't all that pleasant. I DO know that my Sephora box is on its way, so there's something to be excited about! More later.
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
The New Game
Okay, confession time. I recently started playing Kim Kardashian Hollywood. And I love it.
It isn't Glitch. I don't think anything will ever replace the spiritually uplifting beauty that was Glitch. Then again, given recent grief and current mindset I seem to be in, I'm not sure I have the spoons for anything spiritual. KKH is superficial. It's a game about becoming a celebrity, having nice clothes, and cool houses. At the same time, it's well structured, has a clear storyline, and so far it isn't boring. Even the grazing you have to do to get energy isn't really that boring.
The Facebook version of the game follows the storyline of the phone version. You're working in a small clothing shop and have a chance encounter with Kim Kardashian when she's in need of help. She takes a liking to you and helps you start down your path toward fame. Along the way, you meet her family, some helpful and eccentric staff, and gain either Dirk Diamond or Willow Pape as a rival.
There are quests and miniquests. There are situations where you can choose your own moral path (which leads to alterations in the quests). There are also a lot of options about who to date, what to wear, and where to live. Those last three can cost you a lot of money and little decisions about what you purchase and change how well the game goes for you. For instance, on my third time restarting, I had the sense to save up to buy the private jet (which saves you a fortune on travel) but still haven't forced myself to buy the house in Calabasas (which gives you the most advantages during parties and episodes of your show).
Oh, that's another fun aspect of the game. You shoot your own reality show. You even get to name it. I named mine Gold Digger. As the game progresses, you can also buy other businesses, like clubs, shops, fashion houses, and hotels. I currently own three shops, a fashion house, a hotel, and a gym. I have weekly quests related to each of these that rewards me extra funds when I complete them.
And yes, most of the time, the game is just grazing for points, doing photo shoots, and watching your completion bar fill up, but even those are fun. Most of the photo shoots have connected stories and the ones that don't tend to at least give you some good rewards.
Best of all, the game creators found a way to keep it from being boring once you reach the top. At that point, when you have completed all the related quests, you have the option of losing your fame and clawing your way back as a rebranded star. I've been coaxing a hot A-lister for a while now. When I finally fall from grace, I plan to ditch my current husband, marry the A-lister, and begin my path again. It's going to be glorious.
It isn't Glitch. I don't think anything will ever replace the spiritually uplifting beauty that was Glitch. Then again, given recent grief and current mindset I seem to be in, I'm not sure I have the spoons for anything spiritual. KKH is superficial. It's a game about becoming a celebrity, having nice clothes, and cool houses. At the same time, it's well structured, has a clear storyline, and so far it isn't boring. Even the grazing you have to do to get energy isn't really that boring.
The Facebook version of the game follows the storyline of the phone version. You're working in a small clothing shop and have a chance encounter with Kim Kardashian when she's in need of help. She takes a liking to you and helps you start down your path toward fame. Along the way, you meet her family, some helpful and eccentric staff, and gain either Dirk Diamond or Willow Pape as a rival.
There are quests and miniquests. There are situations where you can choose your own moral path (which leads to alterations in the quests). There are also a lot of options about who to date, what to wear, and where to live. Those last three can cost you a lot of money and little decisions about what you purchase and change how well the game goes for you. For instance, on my third time restarting, I had the sense to save up to buy the private jet (which saves you a fortune on travel) but still haven't forced myself to buy the house in Calabasas (which gives you the most advantages during parties and episodes of your show).
Oh, that's another fun aspect of the game. You shoot your own reality show. You even get to name it. I named mine Gold Digger. As the game progresses, you can also buy other businesses, like clubs, shops, fashion houses, and hotels. I currently own three shops, a fashion house, a hotel, and a gym. I have weekly quests related to each of these that rewards me extra funds when I complete them.
And yes, most of the time, the game is just grazing for points, doing photo shoots, and watching your completion bar fill up, but even those are fun. Most of the photo shoots have connected stories and the ones that don't tend to at least give you some good rewards.
Best of all, the game creators found a way to keep it from being boring once you reach the top. At that point, when you have completed all the related quests, you have the option of losing your fame and clawing your way back as a rebranded star. I've been coaxing a hot A-lister for a while now. When I finally fall from grace, I plan to ditch my current husband, marry the A-lister, and begin my path again. It's going to be glorious.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Pain in My . . .
I'm hurting again. I think maybe pain is just a part of adulthood and aging, but it isn't one I'm enjoying. I hate that pain has become this factor in my life to the extent that I know it limits what I would do with my time. I have to travel again this week. It isn't a long trip, but I'm glad it's happening on Thursday because I need Friday to just be a day where I chill and let myself recover. That won't be tomorrow because I have therapy. Tomorrow will be a day of spoons like today was.
Beyond the pain, things are going well. I need some sleep and probably to be less grumbly, but other than that, I'm okay. I guess as you age, you get so used to the levels of pain that having them be at a 5 or a 6 is reason enough to believe things are fine.
Beyond the pain, things are going well. I need some sleep and probably to be less grumbly, but other than that, I'm okay. I guess as you age, you get so used to the levels of pain that having them be at a 5 or a 6 is reason enough to believe things are fine.
Sunday, September 10, 2017
Smoke
I was sick all last fall. My roommate was sick all last fall. We were both sick during the winter and into Spring. My roommate was hospitalized with pneumonia. I've been thinking a lot about why I'm so ambivalent about the season and I believe it has a lot to do with this perpetual cycle of illness we found ourselves in. I would rather like to avoid all of that this year.
Of course, it's like the world makes this almost impossible. This morning my roommate was in his room when it suddenly filled with smoke. Worried the house was on fire (always a worry with a home this old), he went into the living room, only to discover the rest of the house was fine. When he went outside, he realized the neighbors were burning leaves and all of their smoke was pooling in his room.
Come on, people.
It doesn't take a genius to notice the way the wind is blowing. It should have been clear to them any smoke would end up someone else's problem. If they wanted to be rid of their leaves that badly, there were other, less crappy ways to accomplish it. We're not living in the middle of the boonies here. There are reasonable practices one should do when living in town, like consider one's neighbors.
Not that these neighbors have ever been good about that. They're loud. They mow like every other day. They run machines all the time. Uggh.
Of course, it's like the world makes this almost impossible. This morning my roommate was in his room when it suddenly filled with smoke. Worried the house was on fire (always a worry with a home this old), he went into the living room, only to discover the rest of the house was fine. When he went outside, he realized the neighbors were burning leaves and all of their smoke was pooling in his room.
Come on, people.
It doesn't take a genius to notice the way the wind is blowing. It should have been clear to them any smoke would end up someone else's problem. If they wanted to be rid of their leaves that badly, there were other, less crappy ways to accomplish it. We're not living in the middle of the boonies here. There are reasonable practices one should do when living in town, like consider one's neighbors.
Not that these neighbors have ever been good about that. They're loud. They mow like every other day. They run machines all the time. Uggh.
The Fall Continues
I was in more pain today than I'd anticipated I'd be in. I did a lot of moving on Thursday and while things weren't so bad yesterday, today I felt it. I believe a lot of this is probably the ability to sleep and relax is making my body aware of how much damage was done. It's healing, but it isn't pleasant.
Along those same lines, I was fairly emotional today. There were certain topics that almost had me in tears. This wasn't depression. This was just feeling A LOT and intensely. Again, I think it's about getting caught up with sleep. That allowed me to really connect with my emotions again. I rarely like that, to be honest, but I assume it's healthy.
Now off for more sleep!
Along those same lines, I was fairly emotional today. There were certain topics that almost had me in tears. This wasn't depression. This was just feeling A LOT and intensely. Again, I think it's about getting caught up with sleep. That allowed me to really connect with my emotions again. I rarely like that, to be honest, but I assume it's healthy.
Now off for more sleep!
Friday, September 8, 2017
Sweet Sleep
My roommate wrote about how the weather has finally cooled down enough to where his body is relaxing and he feels tired. I completely get that. The hot weather kept me in an agitated state, but that's gone now and I can sleep.
I slept this afternoon and it was delicious. I would wake up here and again and just be delighted at the idea that I still had more time for napping. When I finally woke up, I was in a better mood than I've been in for a while. I was a little out of it, but still rather pleasant. Past that, I've just been kind of drifting in a state of pleasantness. I plan to do more delightful sleeping tonight.
I get that sounds mundane but given how there were nights over the summer when I didn't sleep much at all, any time when I do will be appreciated and savored.
I slept this afternoon and it was delicious. I would wake up here and again and just be delighted at the idea that I still had more time for napping. When I finally woke up, I was in a better mood than I've been in for a while. I was a little out of it, but still rather pleasant. Past that, I've just been kind of drifting in a state of pleasantness. I plan to do more delightful sleeping tonight.
I get that sounds mundane but given how there were nights over the summer when I didn't sleep much at all, any time when I do will be appreciated and savored.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
A Week Out
It's been a week since my last fall. My roommate said I seemed to have recovered from this fall better than the others. In some ways this is true, but there are times when my hip is still hurting me, especially when I move it in certain positions. My head has stopped causing me constant pain, but it still has some awful moments too. Today wasn't easy, but I was up early and I had to do a lot of moving around. I'm pretty exhausted now.
We're to the point where it's starting to really cool down. I only had on the smaller fans last night and that will be the trend for about another couple of weeks. Past that, fans will be put away. I'll still keep Ye Eldest Fan because I need the noise to sleep, but it will be the only one running at that point. I'm actually starting to feel more positive about Fall.
We're to the point where it's starting to really cool down. I only had on the smaller fans last night and that will be the trend for about another couple of weeks. Past that, fans will be put away. I'll still keep Ye Eldest Fan because I need the noise to sleep, but it will be the only one running at that point. I'm actually starting to feel more positive about Fall.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Depths
I finished the Hey Qween interview with Ginger Minj. It's really one of the best interviews I've seen, honestly, ever. Like she said, it helps that she was talking to friends. It took away the awkwardness. The interview was heartfelt and beautiful. It should win awards.
In the comments, someone was talking about how the episodes have gotten deeper lately, which is kind of amazing for a show that has gogo dancers on it. Then again, people are starting to see this is one of the few shows that really respects the art of drag and what it means to the community at large. Where a lot of mainstream outlets still treat drag queens like exotic creatures, Hey Qween treats them like people who just also happen to be stars.
There was a depth to the Minj interview that I've not seen in a long time. Even the Look at Hur segment contained a lot of depth. Jonny McGovern was at his best during this, adding comment when needed, asking the right questions, and keeping things genuine. He was an amazing host during this.
At the beginning of the episode when he and Lady Red were talking, they mentioned how they were both just back from tours. She's doing Drag Queens of Comedy and he's the host for Dita von Tease's show. They both seemed somewhat in awe of their current success, but I really get it. Hey Qween and its various side projects have become one of the backbones of drag media. They deserve the success they're receiving.
In the comments, someone was talking about how the episodes have gotten deeper lately, which is kind of amazing for a show that has gogo dancers on it. Then again, people are starting to see this is one of the few shows that really respects the art of drag and what it means to the community at large. Where a lot of mainstream outlets still treat drag queens like exotic creatures, Hey Qween treats them like people who just also happen to be stars.
There was a depth to the Minj interview that I've not seen in a long time. Even the Look at Hur segment contained a lot of depth. Jonny McGovern was at his best during this, adding comment when needed, asking the right questions, and keeping things genuine. He was an amazing host during this.
At the beginning of the episode when he and Lady Red were talking, they mentioned how they were both just back from tours. She's doing Drag Queens of Comedy and he's the host for Dita von Tease's show. They both seemed somewhat in awe of their current success, but I really get it. Hey Qween and its various side projects have become one of the backbones of drag media. They deserve the success they're receiving.
Monday, September 4, 2017
Divine Inspiration
A while back, there was a clip on YouTube of Bianca Del Rio talking to a little 7 yr old drag queen. Bianca asked the kid who her favorite drag queen was and the kid said, "Ginger Minj." People laughed because of course punch line is that Bianca thought it would be her and it wasn't.
Ginger Minj was on Hey Qween this week and talked about this video. She said that when she saw it and heard the kid say she was the favorite, it moved her to tears. Ginger went on to explain that as a little kid growing up in backwater Florida, there was no real role model or ideal of what it was like to be a little weird gay boy. It wasn't until she saw Pink Flamingos and felt the power of Divine that she understood the kind of light that a role model, even an unusual one, could have on keeping up one's spirits.
Now here we are, all these years later, and little odd children have an easier time finding people who appeal to the weird spirit inside of them. Ginger said she never, in all of her life, expected she would be someone who others looked up to and it was the most amazing feeling to have. I'm sure Divine would have felt the same way.
My best friend had texted me to tell me that Divine and John Waters were being discussed on NPR. My phone was off so I didn't get the text until much later, but the whole concept of them being on there intrigued me. When Waters and Divine first appeared on the scene, I doubt anyone would have predicted they would be discussed in a serious manner on a station dedicated to cultural enrichment. And yet here we are, not because our culture has degraded, but because we can't pick and choose what art moves people, what appeals to people, and what art is the vanguard leading the way towards the new expression.
Art, no matter how 'trashy' someone may believe it to be, is art because it feeds the souls of those who are hungry.
Ginger Minj was on Hey Qween this week and talked about this video. She said that when she saw it and heard the kid say she was the favorite, it moved her to tears. Ginger went on to explain that as a little kid growing up in backwater Florida, there was no real role model or ideal of what it was like to be a little weird gay boy. It wasn't until she saw Pink Flamingos and felt the power of Divine that she understood the kind of light that a role model, even an unusual one, could have on keeping up one's spirits.
Now here we are, all these years later, and little odd children have an easier time finding people who appeal to the weird spirit inside of them. Ginger said she never, in all of her life, expected she would be someone who others looked up to and it was the most amazing feeling to have. I'm sure Divine would have felt the same way.
My best friend had texted me to tell me that Divine and John Waters were being discussed on NPR. My phone was off so I didn't get the text until much later, but the whole concept of them being on there intrigued me. When Waters and Divine first appeared on the scene, I doubt anyone would have predicted they would be discussed in a serious manner on a station dedicated to cultural enrichment. And yet here we are, not because our culture has degraded, but because we can't pick and choose what art moves people, what appeals to people, and what art is the vanguard leading the way towards the new expression.
Art, no matter how 'trashy' someone may believe it to be, is art because it feeds the souls of those who are hungry.
Sunday, September 3, 2017
Lessons Learned
I had a roommate in college who was a weird artist type. He wore corduroy during the Fall, drank Grand Manier out of coffee cups, and loved Woody Allen movies. He liked me because I was filthy, funny, and carried on good conversations. He also liked the fact that I still owned a record player because he had a lot of vinyl. Living with him was a lot of fun. He owned a ton of weird movies and strange things. I couldn't think of a topic for tonight so my best friend suggested that I write about things I learned from this guy. I'll pick five.
1. I learned to love David Bowie's Hunky Dory album. While I'd heard tracks from this album all of my life, it wasn't until this roommate that I learned to truly love the album as a whole. Hunky Dory is a masterpiece, clearly written with a lot of love, thought, and enjoyment of complications. To this day, it remains a favorite.
2. I learned to love John Waters films. I'd seen a couple of them before I met Brian, but nothing like Pink Flamingos or Female Trouble. The Girl Can't Help It part Pink Flamingos is kind of my spirit shield whenever I'm in a situation where I know I'm not wanted. Divine was the first drag queen who really opened my eyes to the power of being the Thing that freaks everyone else out and I loved that.
3. I learned how to accept art, even when it offended me. This roommate had R. Crumb's work and when I first looked at it, I was really taken aback. Over time, I learned to understand Crumb's perspective and grasp what he was mocking, dealing with, and confronting as an artist, even when it was nothing more than his own complicated relationship with his desires.
4. I learned that sometimes cinema was beautiful and amazing, just because of how it looked. The stories might not be there, but something beautifully shot was still worth looking at . . . it just didn't really make it a good movie.
5. I learned that it's hard for artists to live together. We all have a lot of crap. We all have big personalities. We all have ideas and expectations about each other. You have to be really patient sometimes.
Even though it wasn't for very long and even though sometimes things got heated, I'm glad I had the time with him. It was a lot of fun and where a lot of my memories come from when it comes to my college experience.
1. I learned to love David Bowie's Hunky Dory album. While I'd heard tracks from this album all of my life, it wasn't until this roommate that I learned to truly love the album as a whole. Hunky Dory is a masterpiece, clearly written with a lot of love, thought, and enjoyment of complications. To this day, it remains a favorite.
2. I learned to love John Waters films. I'd seen a couple of them before I met Brian, but nothing like Pink Flamingos or Female Trouble. The Girl Can't Help It part Pink Flamingos is kind of my spirit shield whenever I'm in a situation where I know I'm not wanted. Divine was the first drag queen who really opened my eyes to the power of being the Thing that freaks everyone else out and I loved that.
3. I learned how to accept art, even when it offended me. This roommate had R. Crumb's work and when I first looked at it, I was really taken aback. Over time, I learned to understand Crumb's perspective and grasp what he was mocking, dealing with, and confronting as an artist, even when it was nothing more than his own complicated relationship with his desires.
4. I learned that sometimes cinema was beautiful and amazing, just because of how it looked. The stories might not be there, but something beautifully shot was still worth looking at . . . it just didn't really make it a good movie.
5. I learned that it's hard for artists to live together. We all have a lot of crap. We all have big personalities. We all have ideas and expectations about each other. You have to be really patient sometimes.
Even though it wasn't for very long and even though sometimes things got heated, I'm glad I had the time with him. It was a lot of fun and where a lot of my memories come from when it comes to my college experience.
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Slow Saturday
Looks like the weather decided I was being ungrateful. We're headed back toward the 90s for the next couple of days. After that, it's supposed to drop off a lot, so I guess I can try and endure the heat. Hah. I mean, it isn't like I have a choice in the matter.
I'm still pretty blah about things. My roommate and I talked about the cats today and how weird the house is without them. As the weather starts to cool down, they used to slink out from their various summer spots and cozy back up to us. Were they using us? Yes. We were perfectly fine with that. This year, I won't be getting any cat cuddling. I'm sad about that.
I'm slowly recovering from my injuries. My leg is still hurting, but not as much. The head pain continues, but it isn't as awful when I touch it. Maybe in a few days I'll be back to just my normal level of discomfort.
I'm still pretty blah about things. My roommate and I talked about the cats today and how weird the house is without them. As the weather starts to cool down, they used to slink out from their various summer spots and cozy back up to us. Were they using us? Yes. We were perfectly fine with that. This year, I won't be getting any cat cuddling. I'm sad about that.
I'm slowly recovering from my injuries. My leg is still hurting, but not as much. The head pain continues, but it isn't as awful when I touch it. Maybe in a few days I'll be back to just my normal level of discomfort.
Friday, September 1, 2017
Stirrings of Autumn
I'm not sure if it's the pain I'm in or lingering grief, but I'm just not that excited about the idea of Autumn. Usually, it's my favorite time of year but this year I'm just not into it. Maybe it's because, more than anything, I just feel exhausted all the time and that often overwhelms anything else. It isn't even really a physical exhaustion. It's just . . . everything.
I miss my cats.
Maybe things will feel different in a month or so. Right now, all of it just feels gray and difficult.
I miss my cats.
Maybe things will feel different in a month or so. Right now, all of it just feels gray and difficult.
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