Meh. Today was so blah. I had a lot of fun with my roommate, but I felt kind of down and tired. I think everyone is tired. I go to the doctor on Monday and that's getting to me. It shouldn't, but it is. It always does.
I think part of why I'm nervous is because I need to remind her about how I'll have to be crotch tested for possible cancer issues. She may want to do that then, which won't be fun. OR she may want to do it in a few months, which means I'll have that to dread. I'm not sure which is worse, though I'm thinking to rip the bandaid off is probably better.
I wish I didn't get so anxious about the gyno stuff, but I do. I've had full out panic attacks around that issue. One time when I was in my 20s, they tried to do an internal exam and I freaked out so badly. I kept trying to calm myself down, but I couldn't. Five years ago when they did the second exam after my surgery, I had a horrible panic attack and broke out in hives.
So yeah, this is weighing on me. I wish it wasn't. I hope it doesn't ruin my weekend.
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