This Many Posts In and I Still have Stuff to Say

I suck at consistency. I mean, I really, really, really suck at it.  My life is paved with good intentions of changing this or doing that or improving something or starting/finishing a project. Most of the time, it never happens.  And I'm not just talking about crap no one wants to do like exercise, I mean even fun stuff like video games and books.  Wow? Fun? I'm such a geek.

Okay, there are some things I finished.  I have a Masters Degree. I wrote a book during NANOWRIMO a few years back.  I complete knitting projects provided they're not too hard and don't take too long.  Oh wow, that really isn't much, is it? Damn.

There are a lot of reasons I stop. I get bored. I'm self-defeating. I get sick. I get discouraged. I go crazier for a while. I think all of it is symptomatic of people with my background.  I'm also sure most people chalk it up to pure laziness.  Sometimes, I think they're right. Everything I'm learning about my depression tells me it has a lot to do with it as well.

Therefore, I am quite pleased and not just a little surprised to find myself still blogging after three months.  Okay, I realize three months doesn't sound like a long time, but for me, it sure as hell is. And not just blogging once in a while, blogging almost every night. Half the time, the posts are even fun. That is an accomplishment.

You know, one of the things I've learned in the process of getting my life together is that you have to think in small steps.  Don't think about ALL the weight you have to lose, think about the next pound. Don't think about ALL the money you don't have, think about saving just a small bit at a time.  In this case, I'm not thinking about "will I be blogging in two years?" because my mind just automatically goes to me looking at this blog and it not having been touched for months.

No, I'm just going to think about this one post at a time.  One bit of my life, one essay of thought, one rambling documentation of my pain and confusion (or snark) at a time.

For right now though, for this moment, I'm going to be damned proud of myself.  Three months of blogging. Yippie!